Bad Mouth Others At Your Peril

At a cocktail party, I met a person who had been active in the same industry association that I had. It turned out we were both acquainted with a fellow association member I'll call John. The person I was talking to at the party launched into a vicious personal attack on John - impugning his honesty, integrity and just about everything else about him. I stood there - shocked - and waited for him to subside. I had never met this person before and, after his outburst, I had no interest in any further discussion with him.

We drifted away from each other and engaged other people at the party. As he left, he sought me out, said he hoped that I would keep what he had said confidential, and hoped that we could work together in the future. Work with him - not!!

It's amazing how often we meet people who make themselves look small and petty by bad mouthing others.

My dad advised me - "If you can't say something good about somebody, don't say anything at all." Great advice. I've not always followed it, and almost always, when I was critical of others, it came back to bite me. Often, the words came back to bite me through people I call "attributors." These are the people who repeat what you have said, while making sure to attribute the words to you.They're troublemakers - but if you made the comment they say you did, then shame on you.

When we are openly critical of others we are harming ourselves. First by appearing petty and mean, and secondly by providing negative comments for others to spread. Bad news. Start today by following my dad's advice - " If you can't say something good about somebody, don't say anything at all."

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

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