Career Suicide - Proclaim Yourself a Victim

In a meeting of managers discussing a number of issues, one of the managers made the statement - a number of times, that " No one ever told him anything." This came as a surprise to the other managers - they thought he was actually one of the really plugged - in people. After he made himself a victim - by his own words - his influence and leverage disappeared. Who would want to seek out a person who was told nothing - and , by inference, knew nothing? Funny thing - he was one of most plugged in people in a really secretive organization. He had more intel than most - but that changed. And all because he gave himself up.

Have you ever known people that have done the same thing? Have you ever been guilty of it yourself?

It's the quickest way to career suicide in any job. And the person who commits this self inflicted wound is just looking to complain a little and get a little sympathy and understanding from all the kind people they work with. Huge mistake. It's almost impossible to feel any real sympathy or empathy for a self proclaimed victim. There are too many real victims who are working hard to redeem and survive and grow and prosper to feel any kind of regard for those "woe is me" types.

I don't mean to imply that you should act as if you have all the answers and are plugged in to everything that goes on in your workplace - that approach creates it's own problems. But complaining without a constructive goal is a really unattractive behavior - and people, particularly bosses, avoid that behavior like the plague.

So the next time you're tempted to reach for your crying towel and complain - stop. Remind yourself that shooting yourself in the foot is very painful. Then remind yourself that in every complaint is the seed for a constructive thought or comment or, even better, action. Then go in the direction of providing solutions - the upside to that behavior is so positive, and the downside? Well, there is no downside. Start today - now.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Optimists Lead - Pessimists Provide Input

Optimism plays a huge part in success. About 30% of us can be called optimists, and about 70% are pessimists. Put another way, about 30% of us are motivated by opportunity, and the remaining 70% are motivated by consequences - or fear of loss.

When optimists talk to other optimists, all kinds of opportunities flow - some crazy, some not. When optimists talk to pessimists, they both come away frustrated unless they value the input of their very separate beliefs, and if they do, synergy can do great things. When pessimists talk to pessimists, better bomb shelters to protect from the inevitable nuclear attack are designed and constructed.

So where do you want to be? To answer that question, start with where you are now. Question your own self talk. How do you look at opportunities - as opportunities or as something that has the threat to be screwed up and cause you a loss.

An example: In our seminars on selection of talent in organizations, one of the beliefs we ask participants to talk about is the belief that "every opening in your organization represents an opportunity to make your organization better." It's amazing how many people, when you really listen to what they believe, do not share that view. Many really think hiring is a pain in the ass - taking way too much time away from what is really important, or it is an opportunity to screw up, or they really don't want to be involved - the "just send me a body approach."

Two events motivated me to write this particular blog. The first is the TV ad that shows the guy perched on a bridge spanning a river with a pair of homemade wings strapped to his arms. It's set in what appears to be 1700's Europe. He screws up the courage to jump off the bridge and he glides. The crowd gasps and says " He flies". An old man passing by says, "Yes, But he can't swim!" And the next thing we see is the man crashing into the river. Bummer. Wish he had thought of that before taking the "plunge" over open water.

The second event is an ongoing one for me. A writer named Jon Talton is the business section op-ed writer for our paper - The Arizona Republic. He has to be the most pessimistic, dismissive writer I have ever experienced. There isn't a good piece of news about the local, state, or national economy that he can't dismiss, discount or minimize. Reading him must be some form of perverse pleasure for me - I always come away with less enthusiasm than I had before reading his latest attempt at throwing cold water on good news.

My point in both of these events is to show how varied pessimism can be , and how draining it can be as well. Think about applying for a job where the hiring manager thinks selection is a pain in the ass. Maybe you've been there. Think about having someone rain on your new promotion with an observation that the company is going to hell in a handbasket and is close to failure. The effect - energy drained, passion smothered and a promise to avoid this negative influence in the future.

Listen to your own self talk - do you see the glass half empty or half full. Is your first instinct to define why something won't work, or is it to greet the idea as valuable and worth more thought? As a salesperson, are you more concerned with meeting quota and keeping your job, or with finding that next possibility that will keep you on the road to success?

Give it some thought - value both pessimists and optimists - we sure need both. Just make sure you look for your share of opportunities.