Ten Key Questions - Do I Stay Or Do I Leave?

So much is written about finding the right job, the right relationship, the right career. Little is written about how to know when to stay the course or move on. Knowing when to move on - look for new opportunities, relationships, and challenges - is critical to success. Commitment to goals; not wanting to leave a job undone; loyalty to people and organizations; a sense of obligation; all play a huge role in deciding when to move on or when to persist. The other alternative - the military calls it "R. I.P - Retire In Place" - isn't worth discussing.


I have a very close friend who is wrestling with whether or not to move on. She has worked hard for three years to make a success of a new branch of her employers business. For the first two years she was applauded and rewarded for the growth and success of her branch. Unfortunately, due to circumstances out of her control, the revenue requirements for continuing the business are not being met. She works hard - long hours - and continues to promote and market her branch - albeit with declining support from the staff people at the headquarters location. There are solutions to the low revenue situation, but they require an expenditure of capital to make the enterprise more attractive and to expand its offerings. Others agree with that - but in today's economic climate it's not going to happen.


She worries that decisions will be made that are not, in her opinion, the right ones for the long term growth of her business. She worries that if she does leave, the branch will suffer. She's at that fork in the road - stay and persist, or look for new opportunities.


For most people, particularly where there has been a high level of commitment to their enterprise, staying or leaving requires a close analysis of what will be - in the end - an emotional decision.

To help make that decision, here are ten question sets. They were developed from discussions with leaders who shared with us the decision making processes they used in deciding to stay or move on.


1 - What are my goals and how are they affected by staying - or leaving? Note - If your goals aren't clear, or if you don't have them, the first step is to get or clarify personal goals. Without clear goals, it's difficult to plot a best course.


2 - Am I convinced that I am adding value in my current situation? Just as importantly, do others share that view? What have I been able to accomplish in the last six months?


3 - What is the price of staying? What are the rewards for staying?


4 - What is the price of leaving? What are the rewards for leaving?


5 - What changes can I make in the current situation that would cause me to stay? Are they realistic and do I want to pursue change?

6 - Is staying a matter of comfort, or a matter of commitment?

7 - Have I given it my best shot? Have I had the opportunity to give it my best shot?

8 - Every endeavor has its ups and downs - am I just reacting to frustration - and is there enough reason to feel things will get better - or is that simply wishful thinking?

9 - Have I given it enough time? How much time is enough time?

10 - Are there mitigating circumstances that affect me - like health, family, money? If there are and I stay because of them, can I continue to operate at a high level of commitment?

There are no right or wrong answers. The important point, as the leaders that shared their thinking made clear, is that this kind of self examination be made. It's critical to making the best possible decision, and taking as much of the spur of the moment emotion out of it as possible.

We all find ourselves in stay or go situations - be it job, relationship, career - from time to time. When that happens, use these question sets in arriving at the best possible choice. And then don't look back. No regrets.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess/. blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Goal Setting - Six Steps To Keeping Focus

We ask every leader we work with what they would do more of, better, or more often when they look back on their career, and the top answer is "Focus." When asked how they would do that, they answer that they would be even more goal oriented than they had been. In their opinion, goals create focus that creates accomplishment. With so many demands intruding or attempting to intrude on their attention and energies, goals that create focus are their firewall, and their primary path to success.

Given that so many highly successful people look to goals for focus, why is it that so many organizations and people can't state their personal goals or the goals of their organization - let alone how their personal goals align with their organizational goals?

One reason given is time - "We don't have time for that - we're too busy. " Another reason (read excuse) given is the belief that an individual has no control over their future - too many things outside a person's control can cause things to change, so just go with the flow.

It turns out that most people spend more time focused on planning a two week vacation than they do planning their career. I suspect that's because planning a vacation is controllable, pleasant, and near term - it's easy to focus on it.

But to succeed and prosper, it's vitally important to have a personal set of goals. - they keep us in the game - whatever game is being played. And personal goals that closely align with organizational goals create a tremendous amount of energy, commitment and focus.

Personal goals are even more important when organizational goals don't exist, or aren't expressed, or exist in name only. It's very tempting in those cases to simply give in to the flow of the day to day, and go with whatever comes along - with little if any focus.

Goals help balance the very human tendency to be distracted by the pressing, in - your - face things that happen every day - it's called being "flexible." Flexibility can be a strength, but it can also be a weakness - when flexing becomes a habit and we look back and see that flexing took us far away from where we wanted to be or needed to be.

A friend shared a joke with me that illustrates that point - "Inside every 65 year old is a 40 year old wondering what the hell happened?"

Focus is the difference between wondering what the hell happened, and landing where you wanted to land. It's the difference between throwing a touchdown pass - or throwing a superball - and watching it bounce every which way - with high energy, but with no idea where it will land - and what good - or damage - it will do.

Here are six steps to create focus:

1 - Write down where you want to be in one month, six months, one year, three years and five years. I know, it sounds like a lot of work. It is. But I can tell you from personal experience that those time frames will blow right past you if you don't take the time to plan them now. And you'll end up like that 65 year old wondering what happened.

2 - Define how your source of income - your job - your profession - fits into your own goals. How do your work goals fit in with your personal goals? Are they the same? How can they come together in the near term to provide long term benefit? The closer your personal goals align with the goals of your organization or profession, the better your chances of accomplishing them. This is the key to focus - being convinced and directed to success through goals that embrace you personally and professionally.

3 - Start with short term goals, but with the end in mind. Weekly, monthly, quarterly. Define the top 3 to 5 things that you need to do now to get you to where you want to be. No more than 3 to 5 - and 5 is a stretch. Remember, you can only really focus on doing one thing at a time. There is no more powerful way to become discouraged than to "over goal" yourself at this stage.

4 - Express your goals in positive terms. Express your goals in terms of what you want to achieve as opposed to what you want to avoid or get rid of. Optimism loves positive outcomes - work to think in those terms.


5 - Define your goals using the SMART formula - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time - framed.

6 - Keep track. Hold yourself accountable. Review your goals at least weekly. Carry them with you wherever you go. Make them part of your thinking. Make a habit of reciting your goals and the outcomes of achieving them. Make them your way of life. And when they need to be revised - and that will happen often - just do it.

If you're feeling frustrated and busy and not sure where you're going, start this process today. It isn't easy. It requires personal discipline. It requires faith in yourself. But the rewards of a sense of purpose, focus and freedom are worth the effort. And when you look back in a few weeks to a few months, you'll be surprised at how far you've come, and making goals the cornerstone of focus will become a habit - a habit of success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How Leaders Increase Their Personal Energy

I recently posted a blog titled " How Leaders Create The Energy Essential To Success." It dealt with ways leaders create energy in their organizations through their beliefs and behaviors.

This blog deals with how leaders sustain and increase their personal energy.

In our discussions, leaders divided energy into two dimensions - external and internal. The external dimension is what's seen - what's perceived by others through behavior. Internal energy is what occurs as a result of internal attitudes, values and beliefs - elements like optimism, curiosity, sense of self, opportunities. Many highly successful, highly energetic people don't appear energetic in the external, Energizer Bunny, kind of way. But what they possess is the kind of internal energy that keeps them moving and asking and discovering and recharging their batteries through action.

Most leaders we talked to agreed that part of high energy, both internal and external, is probably genetic - some people's motors just run faster. But having said that, they all said the biggest elements of energy creation and renewal are passion, commitment, focus and accomplishment.

Many of the leaders we talked to used exercising as an example of how the two dimensions of energy work with - or against - each other. They described times they forced themselves to exercise even though they were angry, or frustrated, or disappointed. The effect of forcing themselves to meet their commitment to themselves lifted them up, and renewed their energy. They were proud that they fought through the negative emotions to do what they had committed to do. And even though their level of performance may have initially suffered because of the negative emotions, the action of keeping a commitment energized them - internally and externally. As one leader joked about exercise " It feels so good when I'm finished."

Leaders increase personal energy by pressing on, even when obstacles and emotions would make it easy to stop, pull back, defer. Action creates energy.

Leaders create and renew energy through accomplishment. The saying " Nothing succeeds like success" is so true - at all levels. And it's not just personal accomplishment that creates energy - it's accomplishment at the organizational, individual, workgroup and family level. Leaders look for accomplishment as a means of sustaining and growing their energy, as well as the energy of others.

Leaders take inspiration from the pleasure and achievement of others. They know there's plenty for everybody.


Leaders say breaking out - doing something they've never done before, can be terrifying, exhilarating, but always energizing. It doesn't have to be climbing Everest - it can be much more down to earth. The important thing is that it's new - new sports, new places, new physical challenges, new mental challenges. As one former teacher put it - "the only difference between a rut and a grave is a rut's longer." Ruts don't create energy - they pull it down at all levels.


Leaders like to travel to new places that test their assumptions. Going to a place where they're not in a position of leadership, where the language is different, the food is different, the culture is different, and observing and embracing it without comparison, is a great way to feel more alive - more energetic.

Leaders create effective, productive routines for the day to day things they need to do. They know weaving the important things into day to day routines is liberating. The fewer exceptional efforts required to complete the day - to - days, the more energy available for the creative, new, challenging, accomplishment - directed things.

Leaders find sources of inspiration - and are energized by them. Challenges in their enterprises, biographies of people that have overcome challenges, self help and motivation books, music, poetry, speeches, seminars, relationships with successful people, all add energy.

Leaders find a way to give and give back. They give their talent, their energy, their passion, their experience to others, and are energized by the experience. Thry give without calculating or expecting a return. And they're richer for it - renewed energy is just one of the rewards.

Leaders treasure small victories - they know they lead to big victories. Small victories, well celebrated, have an enormous impact on energy. And there are so many more of them than just waiting for the few big victories. It goes without saying that the big victories really get celebrated.

Finally, leaders cultivate optimism - in themselves and in others. They start each day with the belief that soemthing special is gonna happen - if they make it happen. And leaders use that optimism to think the best of others - they know negative expectations of others results in low energy .

Leaders we talked to offered many more ways they sustain and develop their personal energy. No single person does all of them. But they all agreed action is the basis for energy. While on the surface it might appear that action takes energy away, in reality it's the exact opposite. Effective action adds energy.

Your personal energy is a critical part of your success. Without a high level of both internal and external energy success is hard to find. Use the methods described in this article to help you create and sustain your own high level of energy. Act - today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved