Successful Leadership - Beware The Silver Bullets

We are all tempted to keep looking for that one person, that one application, that one solution, that one customer that will make all the bad things go away and breathe new life into whatever we've been stuck with. The Silver Bullet - the epiphany - the stroke of lightning that cures all ills. Billions of dollars are spent every year on hope - and Silver Bullets - with little if any positive effect.

A story:
I was meeting with the Executive Vice President of a large multi business company. They had a business unit in Florida with continuing labor problems. The unit was union free, but every two years there would be an organizing attempt by a major national union. Two years was up since the last attempt, and another organizing attempt was in the works. The company felt continuing to resist, although expensive and disruptive in the short term, was better than having a union and third party representation of their workers. The business unit was highly successful, hadn't had a layoff in years - in fact, they were in a hiring mode.
The EVP directly responsible for the unit was tempted to throw in the towel and agree to a union, but the CEO was dead set against it.
The EVP wanted to know how I could help turn this around, and avoid an organizing drive.
We went through the checklist of elements that are critical to remaining union free, starting with competitive wages and benefits, a system of due process to handle issues, an equitable system to recognize length of service and a well developed communication process. As we talked he became increasingly impatient, and finally said " We have all that. I'm looking for the one thing - the thing we don't have - that will make this organizing attempt go away. We've tried all kinds of programs and processes, and none have succeeded." I suggested the place to start would be in evaluating the effectiveness of what they were already doing, then go from there. It's possible to have lots of things - but possession and use are two very different things. He didn't like that - he was looking for a new approach - a Silver Bullet. I told him I didn't have any special formula to make his wish come true, and, frankly, I don't believe in the Silver Bullet approach to managing a workforce.

They had an organizing attempt - after an expensive and extensive campaign the company was successful in defeating the attempt, but their profits, quality, shipments and employee relations all suffered because of it.

Moral of the story - Silver Bullets are so rare they're not worth focusing on. Rather than spend time and energy looking for them, take that same time and energy and convert it into solutions that improve on what you already possess and do well.

Successful leaders know accomplishment is built on a solid foundation of good people, good products, good leadership and good practices. Successful leaders know the Program of the Month is a recipe for failure - as one fix after another gets introduced, supported, and then slowly fizzles away, to be replaced by another. All that happens is the people in the business become ever more cynical and resistant to change.

Successful leaders should put a sign on their doors - "No Silver Bullets Welcome." They know the fundamentals need to be in place, excellence needs to be promoted every day, high expectations established, communications constantly improved, performance rewarded and recognized. Out of that comes the strength to grow and prosper. A few things done well beats a constant stream of new initiatives. It's the constant, insistent emphasis on the basics that creates results, and effective change, and improvement. It's the effective execution and implementation of the critical few things done well.

Actually, all the Silver Bullet approach does is to create distractions - they cause you to take your eye off the ball.

Does that mean all the new ideas and programs and processes are without value? Of course not.

The Silver Bullet is most often created in its application. One organization's Silver Bullet is another organization's successful initiative. If the approach is a quick fix for an existing problem it probably won't work - and if it will distract from more substantial work being done, then it's a Silver Bullet.

9 Questions to ask to identify whether an initiative, program, process or change is right for your organization:

Does it build on what we do well?
How will this affect what we are already doing?
What has been our history - have they made a difference - or have they faded away - or have they become imbedded in the organization?
Will this become part of how we operate everyday, or will it have to be treated as an exception, and need regular maintenance and support ?
What do the people to be affected think needs to be done?
Can we measure the effect?
Do we have the resources to see this through to its conclusion?
Will this really affect positive change and results, or are we just staying ahead of accountability and hoping it works?
Is this a survival tactic or part of a growth and improvement strategy?

Every organization is different - every organzation will answer differently, based on their situation, but answering these questions will allow you to see a Silver Bullet for what it is, and act accordingly.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Fail Often To Succeed - Says Who?

I don't know who started it, but the idea that you must fail in order to succeed didn't do anyone any favors. Unfortunately, it's become a firmly imbedded belief in the hearts and minds of millions.

We hear the Babe Ruth stories about how many more strikeouts he had than home runs; Michael Jordan, and the many times he missed a critical shot; every successful salesman that has heard "No" so much more often than he has heard "Yes." Out of that comes a message that we have to fail often to succeed once. But I suspect, if you were to ask Michael Jordan, or Babe Ruth, or a top salesperson, they would all tell you they went into the batter's box, or the game, or the sale, fully expecting to succeed - to win the game, hit a home run, make the sale - every time. They didn't start from the belief that they had to fail often to succeed once.

It's a bad message - it's not true. It's one that has kept expectations down for generations of strivers, in almost every kind of life's work. Think about it - your first day on the job, and you're told to be patient, you need to pay your dues, you have to fail often to succeed once - just keep plugging away. Not too inspiring.

How about beliefs that say stay in play; persist; good things will happen to you - expect them as a result of your hard work and persistence. Believe the next sale is right around the corner. Believe you learn from every action, and apply all that growing and learning to the next opportunity. Believe failure only happens when you quit - or when you don't reach your own goals.

Studies have shown that sales trainees learning from successful salespeople with an optimistic approach achieve substantially higher sales performance faster than trainees taught by the gotta pay your dues, expect a long period of preparation, fail to succeed messages given that have held back so many people.

Which message would you want to receive - a message of possibilities, or a message that says you're going to fail often, so get used to it?

Who's to say, on that very first sales call, the new salesperson meets someone who just has to have what they are selling, and despite the lack of experience and knowledge, they connect. Is that possible? Sure it is. It happens all the time - but only to those who deal in possibilities.

This sounds like splitting hairs - it isn't. Success in any endeavor is separated from lack of success by little things. And how each possibility is approached is just a little bit different for the successful and the not so successful. One looks at it as a opportunity - I can win; the other looks at it as a jeopardy - I could lose.

The other thing that a "fail often to succeed once" message can send is that you are not worthy of success, that you are not able to achieve success. While those worms aren't true - I've never met anyone not worthy of success, and only a few people not able to achieve success, they do exist in all of us - to some degree. If you provide the fuel of "fail often to succeed once" to these two worms, your own belief in your ability and worthiness are reduced. Provide the optimistic fuel of possibilities and watch your personal beliefs and success grow.

When things are tough - and they will be tough, from time to time, the only thing that can sustain you is your own sense of possibilities, and your own sense of your worth and ability.

Listen to your own self talk. Is every at bat, every shot, every sales call an opportunity to succeed? Or is it a chance to fail? If you're looking at things pessimistically, work on the belief that the next ball gets hit out of the ballpark - the next shot wins the game, the next call has sale written all over it. Start giving yourself those positive messages and see your success grow - I guarantee it.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Procrastinators - Self Sabotaging Beliefs

What follows are some of the beliefs that procrastinators say to themselves They may help keep mental stability, but they sure sabotage performance, and end up as destructive self talk. In the minds of action oriented, sense of urgency, get it done people, these beliefs and self talk have a very different meaning than they do to procrastinators.

I present these beliefs for your review - along with a short narrative about each.

Good things come to those who wait.
Well, not really. How often have the best seats been left for the last people that show up? How often are the best sales items still available when the last people show up? How many choice assignments go to those who wait to be asked? How many sales went to the person who took a month to prepare, while three others called ahead of him/her? How often does riding in on the big white horse to solve a problem at the last minute really work? Who got the aisle seat on Southwest by showing up late at the gate?

Tomorrow Tomorrow – from “Annie.”
Tomorrow - what a lovely ring it has to it - the day when everything will get done. The day when we will work twice as hard as we did today - to make up for the things we are avoiding doing now. It's a lovely place - tomorrow. It's so full of hope, and possibilities, and potential. It's sad, but so many people won't see tomorrow - because tomorrow never comes. When we get to tomorrow, it becomes today - and we can think of the next tomorrow. As Annie sang - "Tomorrow is just a day away" - always.

The Sun Will Come Up Tomorrow
I can guarantee the sun will come up tomorrow - that's a given. No guarantee that we will come up with it tomorrow.

It's never too late
Well, actually, it probably is too late if you're telling yourself that it's never too late. Actually, it is always too late, if there was time to do an important thing today, and it wasn't done. That job application, that investment decision, that note to a sick friend, that statement of love to a parent, that certification test not taken, that talk with the boss delayed, that business opportunity not acted on. Life does not offer an infinite number of possibilities - it just does not work that way. "Never too late" is code for "Failure to act."

I’m just too busy.
Uh -huh. Let's see - gotta take out the garbage, shine my shoes, organize my desk, call that friend, order that piece of exercise equipment, go to the store. Damn, where did all the time go? It just slipped away from me - I'm just too busy to followup on that sales call until tomorrow - or complete the taxes.

How long do I have to get it done?
In other words, how long do I have until I really gotta get cracking on it? Two weeks? What a relief - I thought I would have to start today - tomorrow is much better. If I work this right, maybe I can get it done on time this time.

Things could be worse.
This one is true - things can always get worse - and worse - and worse. This belief reminds me of the two farmers on a blazing hot day. A dog was sitting in the middle of an asphalt road. It was HOT. One farmer turned to the other and said " I wonder why that dog don't move his sorry butt off that hot asphalt?" The other farmer replied " Well, I guess it ain't hot enough yet." It's amazing what you can get used to, and tolerate, when it just isn't time to move - regardless how hot things might be. Easier to sit and sweat than to act.

I will do twice as much tomorrow to make up for what I did not do today.
That is so much bull. What makes you think tomorrow will be any different than today? Oh, I forgot - tomorrow is the day full of possibilities. The day to spring from the bed ready and rarin' to go on all the things you weren't rarin' to go on today. Uh -huh. Face it - the chance that you will work twice as hard tomorrow has been a promise made and not kept for months, or years, or decades. It will not happen.

I do my best work when I have my back to the wall – when I am working against a deadline.
Ah, yes. The old "I'm best when I work under pressure" belief. Unfortunately, the pressure is self imposed, usually because of a looming deadline, or a project behind schedule, or a commitment not kept. So the pressure is not to excel, but to survive. There are going to be so many unexpected things that demand time and energy that creating artificial pressures just doesn't make sense. The biggest personal cost in creating self induced pressure is in not having time to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves at the "wrong" time. And what time would that be? When your back is to the wall on self induced pressure deadlines.

If any of these self talk sayings sound familiar. I'd ask you to focus on the one that you recognize the most - and vow to do something today to confront that belief. Doing it today is more important than what is done - or how perfect it is - or how much you fear it. Take a baby step and live in today - today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Procrastinators - Nine Steps To An Easy Day

As a followup to "Procrastinators Never Have an Easy Day," let's talk about steps to take to achieve that easy day - that day when accomplishment and achievement are reached - when the overhang of things waiting to be done is manageable, and guilt and remorse are replaced with optimism and confidence. That sure sounds good - and it can happen - starting today.

The first step is to imagine what that easy day is going to be like - that day when things are under control, when the taxes are done - on time, when the boss offers congratulations on the completion of an assignment that exceeded expectations, when fear is overcome and the result of a project was a really, really good outcome. Start with the end in mind - in this case replacing the behavior and habit of thought of procrastination that serves so poorly and creates negative emotions with a behavior and habit of thought that creates the reward of freedom to grow and learn and test limits - or the freedom to fall asleep under a tree with no cares of the world. The rewards are in reach - believe it. Start this journey with the Reward - whatever that may be - in mind.

Step 2: Replace intent with action. Replace talking about the "what if''s" and the "when I get to it's " with Action on what is truly important, and pressing, and proximate, and fearful. As Brian Tracy says in Eat That Frog- "Swallow the frog first." Or, if you choose, " attack the bear in the room before it gets any bigger." Do the things you don't want to do first. Save the really neat stuff to do as a reward.

Step 3: Don't think too much. The curse of the intelligent is being able to see all kinds of alternatives, combinations and permutations - to see all kinds of consequences and possibilities, and become frozen in place with too many options. Pick out a course of action and go for it. If the first "ready, aim, fire" doesn't hit the target, it probably came close. Adjust and "ready, aim, fire" again. But make the adjustments as a result of action. If the second course of action doesn't hit the target, it got closer. Persist with action.

Step 4: Replace the codewords of the procrastinator. Words like "tomorrow," and statements/beliefs like "good things come to those who wait," "anything worth doing is worth doing right," "it'll take care of itself" and "I need more information/preparation." Great phrases, but not for procrastinators - they only reinforce the tomorrow habit of thought of procrastinators. Listen to your self talk, and replace those kinds of phrases that create a tomorrow mentality. Today is all that has value - tomorrow will never come for many, many people.

Step 5: When faced with a project, replace the procrastinator's first question and thought - "When is this due?" with "What can I do today to get this going?" Consider meeting a due date for what it is - a failure to exceed expectations.

Step 6: If something simply can't get done when a date is imposed, challenge the issue. If that doesn't work, manage the project to keep others aware of progress. Never ever let the boss get ambushed with a date not kept - even if he/she really deserved to be embarrassed by their unreasonable demands. To your boss, passive agressive behavior is infuriating, frustrating and dangerous - survival may happen, but trust will be gone.

Step 7: Focus, focus, focus. Complete whatever the big things are. Don't let up until they're done. Don't let the little things intrude - be very wary of the demands of others and their impact on completing the most important things, Develop the ability to say no - politely, constructively and firmly. And make sure the big things are really the big things. Nothing is more frustrating than to be working like crazy on thin things - and not knowing it. That's where goals - shared goals are so important.

Step 8: Realize that a conscious decision to delay something because of the importance of other things is not procrastination. Realistic and accurate prioritizing is a skill - an essential survival and success skill.

Step 9: Consider pretty good as better than perfection - because it is. Realize that by the time you burst into the room with the perfect solution - if there is such a thing - someone else has already acted with a good enough solution, and another opportunity to contribute has been lost.

Lastly, take these nine steps one at a time - the trap of too much at once is a real trap - it ends up causing nothing to be accomplished.

Take whatever step seems right - then ACT! Do it - today!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail : acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Procrastinators Never Have An Easy Day

Pity the poor procrastinators. They never have an easy day. They can't - with so many things hanging over their heads - and most of them are the most important things, or the things that are feared the most, or are seen as having to be done perfectly.

So procrastinators have to stay really busy doing other things to convince themselves that they're too busy to do the things they don't want to do, but that need to be done, or that they want to do so well that they can never measure up to their own standards.

And so, at the end of each day, they collapse in exhaustion, once again convinced that a lot got done - a good day. And for some time, there is a good feeling about all the "thin" things that were accomplished. Meanwhile, the bear in the room just keeps getting bigger - and badder - and more difficult to address - and more challenging to do right. And then it's too late - but it's never too late.

What happened?

One of the things that happened was so much time was spent on the process and challenges and possible pitfalls that the goal got lost. Preparation and process became more important than anything else. And then, after all that effort, it wasn't good enough - it had to be perfect. So much time was spent on it - whatever it is - that producing anything less than the best was unacceptable.

Maybe there were questions of being able - or worthy - or both. And so it was kept at arm's length, and touched - and poked - and started, but there was never real commitment - there was always something more pressing to do - and those pressing things always got in the way of answering the question of ability or worthiness. What a relief!

Maybe the time frame was set with the due date as the focus - rather than focusing on what could be done today. And as the due date kept getting nearer, and panic set in, and work started, it was too late, and the due date was missed, or the procrastinator gave up - quit. And yet, at the beginning, there seemed to be plenty of time.

Maybe the request to do something was seen as an imposition and as unreasonable. But rather than confront the unreasonable demand, the decision was made, most often subconsciously, to delay, and show whoever made the demand that it couldn't be done in their time frame. The lack of accomplishment, or of failing to meet expectations is the response to the demand. It's called passive aggressive behavior.

A pretty bleak picture of what procrastination - putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done, or at the least started, today, can cost. High stress, guilt, regret, reinforcement of not being able or worthy, quitting and a host of other negative emotions and behaviors surround procrastinators. It's too bad - since most are hard workers, and smart, and able and worthy - and busier than most other people. It's just that their own self talk and their own behavior makes it almost impossible for them to have an easy day - a day without the negative emotions mentioned.

Is there hope? Of course there is - a behavior can be changed and so can a habit of thought. But since I want that subject to be written perfectly, I want to give it a lot of thought, and make sure i'm able to write it. Look for it tomorrow - that's the day most procrastinator's live for.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Building and Keeping Relationships

You've heard that old saying "It's all politics." Usually muttered by the person who didn't get the job, the promotion, the big raise, the recognition. The implication is that performance and contribution aren't as important as who you know. In many cases that's true. Certainly performance, skills, and any number of factors are part of the process, but who you know plays a huge part in people decisions - and always will.

Read any biography of any successful person and you will find the importance of building positive constructive relationships. Very few people succeed on their own. Successful people know that, and make relationship building and maintenance one of their top Personal Skills. You'll see in those biographies that relationship building is a contact sport - often they don't work out, but that is never an excuse for not trying again, and again.

It's estimated that as many as 80% of the job opportunities available in organizations are not publicized - they're filled through people knowing other people. Search firms rely heavily on Centers of Influence - people with wide industry knowledge and people contacts. They provide the search firms with the contacts they need to source the hidden candidates.

Additionally, many companies use referral bonuses as a means of recruiting. If you're not staying in play and working to develop and maintain relationships, you'll miss out on many of the opportunities - and you won't even know it! The online job and relationship websites have value, but don't ever make the mistake of thinking they replace human relationships as the basis for most opportunities.

The power of relationships is so great that it needs conscious habits of thought to ensure you get and keep and continue to develop new relationships throughout your life. So how do you do that?

Like so many other habits of thought, it starts with the belief that people relationships are important and that interdependence, as Covey calls it in The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, is the highest order of living.

For some people, engaging and developing relationships is easier than it is for others. But everybody can create effective business and personal relationships - some just have to work harder at it. The good news is that the work pays off with friendships and relationships that are priceless in all parts of life.

Where to begin? Start by taking inventory of where you are now in terms of behaviors and activities and the size of your contact list. Do you instinctively reach out to others and seek new people? Do you draw back and find it difficult to engage others? Do you participate in activities that put you in places where social engagement is possible - or do you avoid them? Do you have negative expectations of other people, or do you optimistically look forward to meeting people? Have you burned bridges, have you lost contact with people you respected, do you find yourself running low on people you can count on?

Begin this inventory with an optimistic mindset - think possibilities. Think in terms of finding people you can share work, play, professional growth, religious, skill building activities with. Do not start with the mindset of finding people that can help you succeed. People that do that are easy to spot. They're so busy looking around for someone important that they miss the opportunities to relate that are right in front of them.

List the organizations that are in your living area, in your professional interests, in your sports interests, in your intellectual interests, in your fitness interests. Make participation in group social activities a part of your regular routine. Play a sport that has a social, as well as a competitive side to it. Look to your church, your college alumni group, your branch of the service, your professional certification groups, your industry associations. The list is endless.

Make sure you stay engaged at work. It is the one place where common interest should be the highest. If you're part of a small business or are on your own, get involved in the Chamber of Commerce, a Toastmaster's group, a Kiwanis or Rotary or Lions Club. Go to the social functions that are part of your work and your business. Participate in company sponsored events. Eat lunch with people you work with.

This can sound like a lot of work. It is if you look at relationships as a chore. And if you do think of these actions as a chore, you really need to spend the time and effort to make it happen. Even if previous attempts to develop relationships have not worked out, just persist and realize the terrific possibilities positive relationships will bring to your life.

Do it - start today. And once you've started , then consciously plan how to build and maintain relationships - don't let them slip away. It is so easy to let that happen - and so easy to keep it from happening.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Acceptance, A Powerful Skill For Change

Acceptance is one of those things we rarely think about as a Personal Skill, but it can make a huge difference in our success - in all parts of our life.

A story to illustrate my point:

I'm a fly fisherman. I learned from my uncle -a great guy who only used one kind of fly, had one rod and one reel and was extremely skillful in seeking out and catching trout in mountain streams. I grew up believing there were certain ways to fly fish - especially for trout. As my experience grew, I stuck to what I had been taught by my uncle, and I regarded with suspicion all the changes and new things that had come to the sport after the movie "A River Runs Through It" created a whole new group of fly fishers. In my mind all that had happened was the streams had become more crowded - and with people who didn't share a lot of my values and experience. But then I began to notice that a lot of these people were pretty good - good casters, good flytiers, good knot tiers, and good at catching trout. Gradually, and grudgingly, I came to realize that I was standing still while the sport that I loved was changing and growing. I decided to join in and find out what all this stuff was about. I learned more in one year than I had learned in all my previous 20 years of fly fishing! What a change! What a terrific set of possibilities opened up for me! And it all started with my being willing to accept change in my beliefs and attitudes toward my sport.

That's my story, and I share it to illustrate how acceptance precedes change as a behavior. Without the openness of acceptance there can be little change. If I hadn't accepted the changes and made them my own in fly fishing, I would have missed out on a whole new set of possibilities. I'd still be a fly fisherman, but I would have missed so much!

My fly fishing experience helped me become aware of how many possibilities I was missing by not being more accepting of other people, other ideas, other cultures, other stuff! And I decided I really needed to hear my self talk, start questioning why I do things the way I do, and start listening to others and accepting what they have to say as having as much value as my ideas and thoughts.

It's easy in our lives to "harden up" and become fixed in what we do and say and think - to stay in that comfort zone of what we already know. Except, we really start shrinking a little every day when that happens.

I don't want my world to shrink as I get older. I want it to grow and be bigger and richer and filled with truly interesting and challenging things. The only way I know to have that happen is to become more accepting of things different from me. Not easy - but essential to continuing growth.

The really great thing about acceptance is how it prepares people for inevitable change. When the plant closes, when a career change is required, when a new boss shows up, when a move to a different place to live occurs, the people who have prepared themselves to accept and greet those changes with a positive attitude are the people that will not just survive, but prosper. And with the rate of change increasing all the time, acceptance is really a survival skill, as well as a critical leadership skill.

Make acceptance part of your daily self talk and habits of thought - make it part of goals - make new experiences things to be treasured. You will live a fuller life for it!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Self Criticism - Constructive Skill or Destructive Habit?

Self talk is one of our most powerful tools for growth, or for reinforcing those two worms - "I'm not worthy" and "I'm not able." Constructive self criticism is a positive, skill building habit of thought. Destructive criticism - berating ourselves for all kinds of things - just beats us down - it just keeps telling us we're not worthy, or not able, or both. And we do it to ourselves!

So how do we ensure our self talk is helping us? Try the following:

Which of the these questions are you more likely to ask yourself?

What could I have done better? What did I learn? What can I take from this experience to do better next time?

or

You dummy - why did you do that? I wish I'd said ---! I really blew it!

One set of questions deals with possibilities and growth. The other is beating ourselves up - you can almost hear the whip cracking.

If you're working to improve your self esteem, and at the same time improve your skills, experience and accomplishments, you gotta be conscious of the kind of criticism you direct at yourself. The next time you start to criticize yourself be sure to ask if the criticism is really necessary – is it constructive – does it have the potential to improve your performance – does it encourage you - does it celebrate your accomplishments? If you can answer yes to those questions, everything is OK. If you can’t, if you spend a lot of time looking in your own rear view mirror and not liking what you see, I suggest this exercise to help you break one habit and replace it with another:

Write down five constructive criticism questions. Use them to ask yourself about your own behavior, skills and accomplishments. Paste them everywhere - read them every day - answer them every day - do it for thirty days.

I guarantee, at the end of thirty days, you will have started to replace negative self talk with positive self criticism and a greater understanding of yourself - Personal Skills of the top ten percenters.

Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800 E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Encourage Thinking Outside The Box - A Tool

Thinking outside your box is a critical Personal Skill - one that will make the difference between success or failure. The critical skill is really about accessing the thinking of others to help see what possibilities lie outside your own world of thoughts and beliefs and biases.

Try this exercise to get the "out of box" juices flowing with the people you deal with.

Draw a square 1 foot by 1 foot. Divide all four sides into 3 inch increments. Connect the markings opposite to each other. You now have a large square with 16 little squares inside it - a checkerboard pattern.

Ask how many different squares can be seen in the checkerboard. The first answer is usually 16. Then someone will say 17 - then eighteen - then 19 or 20. That will only happen if you, as leader of this exercise, show an expectation for a larger number than the first answer - which is usually given quickly and with some conviction. Stay at it - keep asking how many squares others see. Engage everyone in the answer. The number of squares will continue to increase. With a lot of encouragement your group may get to 24 to 26. Not bad - but there are 30 squares of various sizes that can be identified in the checkerboard.

See how many people try to work alone. See how many include others in their discussion. When the group has just about exhausted the possibilities, tell them the answer. If someone gets the answer, ask them to describe the squares - so that others can gain knowledge.

The point? The group was probably willing to accept the 16 or 17 or even 20 squares that were stated quickly. Had they done that, they would have left 10 or so squares unidentified. Can your business afford that? Does that kind of dynamic happen to you often? Make those points as a means of pointing out how very important it is to challenge quick answers - how very important it is to share thoughts - how very important it is to encourage - or demand - that people expand their perceptions and look at things through the eyes of others.

There's balance required in this process. Winston Churchill once said "It's important to have an open mind, but not so open that our brains fall out." The same is true when it comes to thinking outside the box. But in at least 95% of the cases where groups attempt to reach for the best answers, many of the members simply don't share or contribute their inputs. The last thing you have to be concerned with is any brains falling out of open minds.

I suggest to you that the critical Personal Skill leaders bring to thinking outside the box is the skill to draw out and value those hard - to - get - at inputs from others.They're the difference between seeing 20 boxes or 30 boxes. Which is better for your organization?

Try this tool with your group - do it today

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com, Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

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