Read any biography of any successful person and you will find the importance of building positive constructive relationships. Very few people succeed on their own. Successful people know that, and make relationship building and maintenance one of their top Personal Skills. You'll see in those biographies that relationship building is a contact sport - often they don't work out, but that is never an excuse for not trying again, and again.
It's estimated that as many as 80% of the job opportunities available in organizations are not publicized - they're filled through people knowing other people. Search firms rely heavily on Centers of Influence - people with wide industry knowledge and people contacts. They provide the search firms with the contacts they need to source the hidden candidates.
Additionally, many companies use referral bonuses as a means of recruiting. If you're not staying in play and working to develop and maintain relationships, you'll miss out on many of the opportunities - and you won't even know it! The online job and relationship websites have value, but don't ever make the mistake of thinking they replace human relationships as the basis for most opportunities.
The power of relationships is so great that it needs conscious habits of thought to ensure you get and keep and continue to develop new relationships throughout your life. So how do you do that?
Like so many other habits of thought, it starts with the belief that people relationships are important and that interdependence, as Covey calls it in The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, is the highest order of living.
For some people, engaging and developing relationships is easier than it is for others. But everybody can create effective business and personal relationships - some just have to work harder at it. The good news is that the work pays off with friendships and relationships that are priceless in all parts of life.
Where to begin? Start by taking inventory of where you are now in terms of behaviors and activities and the size of your contact list. Do you instinctively reach out to others and seek new people? Do you draw back and find it difficult to engage others? Do you participate in activities that put you in places where social engagement is possible - or do you avoid them? Do you have negative expectations of other people, or do you optimistically look forward to meeting people? Have you burned bridges, have you lost contact with people you respected, do you find yourself running low on people you can count on?
Begin this inventory with an optimistic mindset - think possibilities. Think in terms of finding people you can share work, play, professional growth, religious, skill building activities with. Do not start with the mindset of finding people that can help you succeed. People that do that are easy to spot. They're so busy looking around for someone important that they miss the opportunities to relate that are right in front of them.
List the organizations that are in your living area, in your professional interests, in your sports interests, in your intellectual interests, in your fitness interests. Make participation in group social activities a part of your regular routine. Play a sport that has a social, as well as a competitive side to it. Look to your church, your college alumni group, your branch of the service, your professional certification groups, your industry associations. The list is endless.
Make sure you stay engaged at work. It is the one place where common interest should be the highest. If you're part of a small business or are on your own, get involved in the Chamber of Commerce, a Toastmaster's group, a Kiwanis or Rotary or Lions Club. Go to the social functions that are part of your work and your business. Participate in company sponsored events. Eat lunch with people you work with.
This can sound like a lot of work. It is if you look at relationships as a chore. And if you do think of these actions as a chore, you really need to spend the time and effort to make it happen. Even if previous attempts to develop relationships have not worked out, just persist and realize the terrific possibilities positive relationships will bring to your life.
Do it - start today. And once you've started , then consciously plan how to build and maintain relationships - don't let them slip away. It is so easy to let that happen - and so easy to keep it from happening.
Written by Andy Cox, President
Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com
Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved
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