Negative Expectations - Beliefs That Keep Us From Asking For What We Want

Somewhere along the way many of us developed negative beliefs about asking for what we want. Perhaps we believe that asking is a sign of personal weakness. Perhaps a sign of dependency. Perhaps we don't feel we are worthy of asking. Perhaps we feel that people that ask for things are imposing, and since we feel that way, others must feel the same way.

Many of these limiting beliefs - and they are limiting - result in our believing that to ask is to set ourselves up for refusal - failure - embarrassment - loss of self respect and esteem. And so we only ask if and when we have no other choices left. And often we are disappointed, because in asking we start with negative expectations - that we will fail - be refused - and that is exactly what we get. Have you ever heard the saying " You get what you believe you will get'? If we're thinking failure, we will get it - and in getting it we reinforce the negative expectations of asking.

So what do we do with this giant anchor fashioned from our own thoughts? An anchor that keeps success at arm's length - too far away to really reach, but close enough to feel it is in our grasp - if only ----.

What if we could put aside these negative expectations about asking - for just a day? How liberating would it be to think that upon making that phone call asking to see someone, it turns out they are not just willing, but happy that you called, and want to see you as much as you want to see them. A dream? Perhaps. But is it any less of a dream than the dream of refusal - of rudeness - of "No"? And isn't a positive expectation so much more fun - more energizing - more able to lift us up and keep us going?

How do we create these positive beliefs? We start by listening to what we tell ourselves every day. And fight back every time we hear ourselves telling us to slow down, to protect ourselves from disappointment, to criticize our preparation. Our minds can be changed - we can believe in positive outcomes. It starts by telling ourselves that positive outcomes will happen to us - the possibilities of success are at least as great as the negative thoughts we have had in the past.

Start today - start with the next negative outcome that your mind creates for you - realize it is no truer than the opposite, positive outcome. Then let your actions be guided by opportunity - it is so much fun - and energizing, and driven toward success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032, Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

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