So how do we ensure our self talk is helping us? Try the following:
Which of the these questions are you more likely to ask yourself?
What could I have done better? What did I learn? What can I take from this experience to do better next time?
or
You dummy - why did you do that? I wish I'd said ---! I really blew it!
One set of questions deals with possibilities and growth. The other is beating ourselves up - you can almost hear the whip cracking.
If you're working to improve your self esteem, and at the same time improve your skills, experience and accomplishments, you gotta be conscious of the kind of criticism you direct at yourself. The next time you start to criticize yourself be sure to ask if the criticism is really necessary – is it constructive – does it have the potential to improve your performance – does it encourage you - does it celebrate your accomplishments? If you can answer yes to those questions, everything is OK. If you can’t, if you spend a lot of time looking in your own rear view mirror and not liking what you see, I suggest this exercise to help you break one habit and replace it with another:
If you're working to improve your self esteem, and at the same time improve your skills, experience and accomplishments, you gotta be conscious of the kind of criticism you direct at yourself. The next time you start to criticize yourself be sure to ask if the criticism is really necessary – is it constructive – does it have the potential to improve your performance – does it encourage you - does it celebrate your accomplishments? If you can answer yes to those questions, everything is OK. If you can’t, if you spend a lot of time looking in your own rear view mirror and not liking what you see, I suggest this exercise to help you break one habit and replace it with another:
Write down five constructive criticism questions. Use them to ask yourself about your own behavior, skills and accomplishments. Paste them everywhere - read them every day - answer them every day - do it for thirty days.
I guarantee, at the end of thirty days, you will have started to replace negative self talk with positive self criticism and a greater understanding of yourself - Personal Skills of the top ten percenters.
Start today.
Written by Andy Cox, President
Cox Consulting Group LLC 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800 E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com
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