Ten Ways To Ensure Your Goals Are Leading You To Success

Success, energy, passion and commitment are created by success - success at accomplishing the goals we have set for ourselves, and the goals that others have set for or with us. Nothing is more powerful than accomplishment.

Many of us never seem to complete all the goals and tasks we set for ourselves on a daily and weekly and monthly basis. We tend to focus on what we didn't do, rather than on all the things that got done. The effect of overbooking ourselves is that we probably get more done, but the price of never meeting all of our own commitments can be very high.

The price is high if the effect of constantly falling short of our own goals and expectations results in self criticism and a feeling that we don't measure up. And the result is less energy, less commitment, less goal setting. And we did it to ourselves.

It's a balancing act between - on the one hand, stretching and keeping a high level of energy and commitment and confidence in ourselves and - on the other hand, getting discouraged because of our own self imposed failures.

That's why the goal formula - SMART - is so important in setting goals. SMART, it stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time specific, helps us protect against the burnout and discouragement of setting goals that are beyond stretch - that are out there with dreams and ideals - nice to think about but no help when it comes to accomplishment - today.

Here are ten ways you can ensure that your goals are leading to your success, and not to your discouragement:

1 - If you constantly end the day with a sense of frustration because you didn't meet all your goals and plans for that day - and celebration of what was accomplished is pushed aside by frustration - it's time you changed your thinking. And working harder isn't the answer.

2 - Few goals, no more than three to five, are better than many. Having many goals is often the result of confusing intention with action. Many goals can be a sign of not wanting to make the har.d choices required by priorities.

3 - If you use a daily task/goal list, after completing it, take the least important third of the items and put them in the trash. Stop overbooking and when you do get all the things done you committed to do, treat a "fun to do" as a reward for a day well done.

4 - Create short term goals that represent progress and then focus on it. The problem with the big, long term goals is that they are so far away that progress is hard to sustain. Example. If you want to do 12 pullups as a goal, and right now you can't do one, perhaps a short term goal of one will set you on the way to 12.

5 - Treat your goals as mileposts on a journey, rather than a destination. Every step can be celebrated; every step gets you closer to your dream; but celebrate the journey to keep commitment and energy positive.

6 - Don't be reluctant to modify your goals when your instincts and actions tell you that that is a wise thing to do. Remember, insanity is continuing to do the same things and expecting a different outcome. That's true with goals. Maybe the goal of pushing for 15 sales calls in a day is less important - and attainable - than 5 quality interviews in a day. Realize it's the results that count.

7 - Give yourself, and others, credit and recognition for small victories. You know, the call you made that you had been dreading; the presentation that your team gave even though they dreaded having to give it; the analysis that wasn't good news, but had to be reported; the irate customer that was helped. Others may not know the price you paid to do those things, but you know it. Give yourself a pat on the back for courage and commitment.

8 - Be flexible. In a perfect world we may have control of our time and how it is spent. In the real world, stuff happens. Deal with it - don't see "stuff " as an imposition, just do it. Then get back on track, even if the track has taken a sudden right turn.

9 - Realize that you are probably your own worst critic. That's good - that's bad. Use your self criticism constructively - that's good. Hand wringing and regret for things not done is bad - real bad. And while I'm not a student of the brain, have you ever noticed how we tend to soak up the things that didn't go right much easier than we reward and recognize ourselves for the good stuff?

10 - Keep an Accomplishment Log or Journal. Every day write down what you accomplished and feel good about it.

Goals guide us and help us succeed - and help us know what success is. Keep them positive and reinforcing, and watch your own success grow.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Procrastinators - Nine Steps To An Easy Day

As a followup to "Procrastinators Never Have an Easy Day," let's talk about steps to take to achieve that easy day - that day when accomplishment and achievement are reached - when the overhang of things waiting to be done is manageable, and guilt and remorse are replaced with optimism and confidence. That sure sounds good - and it can happen - starting today.

The first step is to imagine what that easy day is going to be like - that day when things are under control, when the taxes are done - on time, when the boss offers congratulations on the completion of an assignment that exceeded expectations, when fear is overcome and the result of a project was a really, really good outcome. Start with the end in mind - in this case replacing the behavior and habit of thought of procrastination that serves so poorly and creates negative emotions with a behavior and habit of thought that creates the reward of freedom to grow and learn and test limits - or the freedom to fall asleep under a tree with no cares of the world. The rewards are in reach - believe it. Start this journey with the Reward - whatever that may be - in mind.

Step 2: Replace intent with action. Replace talking about the "what if''s" and the "when I get to it's " with Action on what is truly important, and pressing, and proximate, and fearful. As Brian Tracy says in Eat That Frog- "Swallow the frog first." Or, if you choose, " attack the bear in the room before it gets any bigger." Do the things you don't want to do first. Save the really neat stuff to do as a reward.

Step 3: Don't think too much. The curse of the intelligent is being able to see all kinds of alternatives, combinations and permutations - to see all kinds of consequences and possibilities, and become frozen in place with too many options. Pick out a course of action and go for it. If the first "ready, aim, fire" doesn't hit the target, it probably came close. Adjust and "ready, aim, fire" again. But make the adjustments as a result of action. If the second course of action doesn't hit the target, it got closer. Persist with action.

Step 4: Replace the codewords of the procrastinator. Words like "tomorrow," and statements/beliefs like "good things come to those who wait," "anything worth doing is worth doing right," "it'll take care of itself" and "I need more information/preparation." Great phrases, but not for procrastinators - they only reinforce the tomorrow habit of thought of procrastinators. Listen to your self talk, and replace those kinds of phrases that create a tomorrow mentality. Today is all that has value - tomorrow will never come for many, many people.

Step 5: When faced with a project, replace the procrastinator's first question and thought - "When is this due?" with "What can I do today to get this going?" Consider meeting a due date for what it is - a failure to exceed expectations.

Step 6: If something simply can't get done when a date is imposed, challenge the issue. If that doesn't work, manage the project to keep others aware of progress. Never ever let the boss get ambushed with a date not kept - even if he/she really deserved to be embarrassed by their unreasonable demands. To your boss, passive agressive behavior is infuriating, frustrating and dangerous - survival may happen, but trust will be gone.

Step 7: Focus, focus, focus. Complete whatever the big things are. Don't let up until they're done. Don't let the little things intrude - be very wary of the demands of others and their impact on completing the most important things, Develop the ability to say no - politely, constructively and firmly. And make sure the big things are really the big things. Nothing is more frustrating than to be working like crazy on thin things - and not knowing it. That's where goals - shared goals are so important.

Step 8: Realize that a conscious decision to delay something because of the importance of other things is not procrastination. Realistic and accurate prioritizing is a skill - an essential survival and success skill.

Step 9: Consider pretty good as better than perfection - because it is. Realize that by the time you burst into the room with the perfect solution - if there is such a thing - someone else has already acted with a good enough solution, and another opportunity to contribute has been lost.

Lastly, take these nine steps one at a time - the trap of too much at once is a real trap - it ends up causing nothing to be accomplished.

Take whatever step seems right - then ACT! Do it - today!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail : acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Self Talk - Self Sabotage

Observations on self sabotage. I was just finishing a 5 mile walk at a 4 mph rate when I realized I was telling myself that wasn't much of an exercise. I was telling myself that I should have pushed harder - gone to the gym - hike in the hills - that a 5 mile walk at 4 mph on city streets wasn't really much of an exercise - because of serious back problems running is out of the question.

Then I realized I do that a lot. I minimize my accomplishments and think of them as less than what I should or could be doing.

Do you ever do that?

This input of self imposed negative messages - that we should do more, what we've done isn't that great, compared to others, we don't measure up, has the long term effect of creating in our minds a feeling of not good enough, not as good as, not really able, not really worthy. And we do it to ourselves!

Wow! A five mile walk at a good rate on a day when exercising in any form was a push because of other commitments. And then end it with a dose of self criticism for not doing more. Self sabotage at its best - or worst!

Take a look at your own self talk - see if it helps you or hinders you. If you're guilty of minimizing your own accomplishments, work on getting that kind of self talk out of your system.

It's not easy - it's a sneaky habit of thought that can get really imbedded. Start work on it by becoming conscious that you're doing it. Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com.

Copyright 2007 All Rights reserved

Success Tool - Looking Back to Look Forward

Huh? Success Tool? I thought you're supposed to stay in today, plan for tomorrow and forget about yesterday. "Happiness is good health and a short memory." So what's this about looking back?

A story - I was hiking in the Phoenix Mountain Preserve. It's very rugged with lots of trails. Two young women approached me and asked how to get back to where they had started. They were headed in exactly the wrong direction. I walked with them until I was sure they were on the right path. I suggested the next time they go hiking, they should turn around from time to time and look where they had come from - and pick out landmarks and trails. Doing that helps assure you won't get lost. In addition to a map, it's the best way I know to stay on course when you're in new territory.

Here's the Success Tool I call Looking Back. After the first week in any change you are going through, record your impressions, judgments and perceptions. It doesn't have to be neat - the only person who has to understand what was recorded is you. Put it away - and after a month, take it out and review it. And then record where you are after your first month, and put that away. Do this monthly for six months. When you go back and review your recordings, be prepared to be amazed at how far you've come and how much you've accomplished! See how much greater your understanding of people, processes and problems has become. See how much closer you have come to meeting and exceeding expectations - your own and others.

What does this Tool do? It's both a compass and a motivator. It helps you to celebrate the small successes that, added together, turn into big successes - and nothing motivates like success! It helps you know just how far you've come. It helps if course corrections are needed - if the successes aren't there - or if they don't meet your expectations.

In the rush to accomplish and solve and process and deal with the everydays, our individual accomplishments often go unnoticed and unrecognized. It's easy to forget what has led you to where you are now. Use this Tool to look back from time to time and gain the energy to go forward by seeing just how far you have already come.

Start today - write it down - make it one of your habits - never get lost again.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Webiste; www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

How Critical Is Balance To Your Success?

Balance is in the eye of the beholder. There are no standards available to apply to balance.

But let me define balance, for purposes of this blog. Balance is having the time to meet the goals we have set for ourselves.

There are people who are balanced with an 80 to 100 hour workweek. Their reward for this level of commitment is expressed in their income, status, promotions. They're in balance - as long as they are meeting their goals.

Other people are balanced with a 40 hour work week. Their reward may be expressed through the success of their children, their church, their Scout troop. They're in balance - as long as they feel they are meeting their goals.

The point being that balance is very much a personal value call. And what is balance at one point in a person's life may change - based on any number of circumstances.

The 100 hour a week person will find, once they are at the top of their profession, that their goals change - and they adapt to find a combination that provides balance. The worker with family values will find, once children are grown and on their own, some other outlet for energies and needs, and establish new goals to find balance.

The real issue is when we feel out of balance - the needs of the various parts of our lives create frustrations - a feeling that what we are doing - or are compelled to do, doesn't allow time to do the things we want to do. The results include negative energy, resentment, anger, passive aggressive behavior - destructive emotions and behaviors that keep balance from happening.

When that happens, ask yourself these questions:

Do you have goals?
Are they your goals?
Are they specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time framed?

If you can't answer yes to those three questions, you will probably answer yes to the following questions.

Do you resent the demands put on you by others?
Do you feel regardless what you are doing, you should or could be doing something else?
Do you feel your time is not your own?
Do you feel that there is always more to do than you could possibly accomplish?
Do you feel unappreciated?
Do you envy the success of others?
Do you tell yourself someday things will change - and be "better"?

If you answered yes - negative emotions are causing you all kinds of problems, whether you realize it or not.

To overcome those negative emotions, you must have goals that are yours, that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time framed. Look at the goals you do have with that in mind. Adjust if you have to to meet your own circumstances and to preserve or gain balance in your life. And if you don't have your own goals, get them. Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Personal Clarity - Essential to Success

Clarity is one of those strange things - you think you have it and then, when you try to put your finger on something, you find it's not there - or it's close, but you can't really grab it - whatever "it" is.

Why should you care about this thing called Clarity? Because the more accurate your view of the world and the more accurate your understanding of yourself, the more effective and successful you can become. Achieving Clarity isn't for everybody - and that's your competitive advantage. Most people that want to be leaders won't pay the price to get high levels of Clarity.

My most recent battle with clarity is going on right now - with myself, as I try to get my goals for 2007 down to the action level. You know, those dreams that you want to see come true - but to have that happen, you gotta act. And as you translate dreams to goals to action, it gets kind of fuzzy. And fuzzy is the enemy of success.

I go through this exercise much more often than I would like to admit. Wouldn't it be just great to be able to just go for it? To act!!

But to act without clarity and purpose is, most often, futile. One of the things I know about myself is that I have to know where I want to go in order to get there. That's my External Clarity - how clearly I see where I am going. The more clearly I see my goals and dreams and how to get there, the better the chances that I will succeed.

But our External Clarity has a powerful partner - our Internal Clarity. The Clarity that has to do with how clearly we see ourselves. This is the arena of self esteem, confidence, introspection and extroversion - the place where we feel worthy and able - or not. This is the realm of self talk - how we view others, our expectations of our own performance and the performance of others, our willingness to take risk and to believe in our abilities - the place where optimism or pessimism or a combination of both reside. This is where we are critical of ourselves - or not. Our perceptions and beliefs in ourselves reside here. What's interesting is that some of the most successful people I have ever worked with don't think highly of their own worth and ability, but they have taken that as a challenge and worked hard to meet tough goals and to take risks and opportunities to prove their worth and ability. Others with low regard for themselves stay safe, don't put themselves at risk and are satisfied with much less than their real capabilities would have allowed them to achieve. Others are so optimistic and think so highly of themselves - the " He/she is a legend in their own mind" people, that they often fail because they are incapable of imagining any downside to whatever they do.

Internal Clarity is tough to determine, but there are ways to get a clearer picture of where you are. 360 degree feedback - if done right - is a great way to get solid feedback; asking trusted friends and family to help you get a clearer picture of yourself can be very effective; assessments of Personal Skills that include detailed measurements of Internal and External Clarity have helped many leaders and emerging leaders; your performance review process at work can help. While all these tools can be a great help, you still have to be able to look in the mirror and ask yourself questions that help you gain Personal Clarity.

How you achieve a high level of Clarity is a very personal matter - the advantage to taking the time and effort to reach a clear picture of the world outside yourself along with a clear picture of your inner world is that it gives you tremendous leverage and competitive advantage. Knowing who you - are the good, the bad and the ugly - is the first step to success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved

When Knowledge Becomes a Liability to Success

I never realized until recently just how much the quest for knowledge can get in the way of success.

Let me explain. A client has a really bright, articulate, energetic, well schooled salesperson they are trying to develop. They hired this person out of a top school. She was right at the top of her class in a challenging engineering course of study. She has all the attributes of an "A" player - not just for her company, but for a lot of organizations. Problem is - she just doesn't get to the market in a timely way. She always seems to have one more "thing" she has to define, or look into, before having that critical conversation with a prospect. Her product is highly technical, and its potential applications do require study and preparation. But any number of sales have slipped through her fingers in the two years she has worked for my client. What's the problem?

It's a common problem for many people who have a high Theoretical Attitude as one of the main drivers of their Behavior. These are people who sincerely believe that knowledge is power - and, up to a point, they are right. They seek knowledge instinctively - their first resource is a book, or Wikipedia, or a white paper. Their findings, as they research a particular issue, require more and more research - they really begin to know what they don't know - and the acquisition of knowledge becomes an end in itself. They evaluate others on the basis of how well others have done their homework, particularly since that is how they evaluate themselves. The net effect is that they are slow to market, but when they get there they are fully prepared - by their standards. The problem is that money likes speed - fast to market wins - 90% of the time. So the high Theoretical may be competing for only 10% of the available opportunities. You can't meet and beat your organization's expectations that way.

Our client's potential A player became an A player - but in an engineering position that allowed the time to become a subject matter expert - a person valued for their in depth knowledge of their product's applications. She was called on to accompany sales people on calls - she provided a depth of knowledge that added enormous value to the sales process. Happy ending - the right person in the right job.

The moral of this story: Regardless of what you do for a living, knowledge, by itself, is not power. The application of knowledge through action creates power. The next time you catch yourself taking one more step on the information tree, ask yourself if this step has value in application, or is it just another way to learn more for your own sense of preparation. If it doesn't add value to application, stop. Take what you know and apply it - 95% of everything rewards speed in application. If you see others doing the "knowledge is power" behavior, send them this blog - maybe it can start them thinking about the application of power - and get them acting.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com,

Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved

Two Things To Do Today To Succeed

After writing and posting the three actions to take for success blog yesterday, I met a person who I will describe as impressive, until we shook hands. Left me cold with the fish grip and no eye contact. Wow! What a first impression!

I've been reading a book called The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. A terrific book, particularly for us strong, silent, independent types who think we are required by some law of the universe to do things ourselves, and not to ask for help, because that would be a sign of weakness.

So what are the two things we can do today to help us succeed?

The first is check your handshake. It's amazing how many people, male and female, give the limp shake. It shouldn't come as a surprise that a limp shake gives the impression of low energy, of lack of interest, of lack of confidence. At the same time you're checking your grip, check out how you make eye contact. A limp shake with no eye contact is a sure turnoff to successful people. They might respect your technical talents, they may respect your accomplishments, but I guarantee they will not want you to represent their organization to other organizations, to "A" player candidates, or to any other influential person or organization. Use a mirror to practice your eye contact, your smile, and your words of introduction until they become second nature. Practice your handshake with a friend - preferably someone with a good, strong , non - finger - breaking grip, and make a firm, brief, full hand shake a habit. And use it with both men and women. Do it now.

The second is to ASK! The biggest part of The Aladdin Factor deals with asking for what we want - in life - in business - in relationships. Read it - it will change how you look at independence, as opposed to interdependence. Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People talks about the three stages of development - dependence, independence and interdependence. I don't know about you, but I was brought up to believe independence is the highest stage of development. It isn't. Interdependence, working with others in so many ways, gives us leverage in our lives. If we don't ask for help, for advice, for checking our handshake - if we can't do that, we cannot reach that highest level of development. Read this book - do the exercises - ask. It will change your life.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved

Three Things To Do Today to Succeed

These three simople actions you can take today occurred to me while I was leaving the gym behind one of the slowest walking, grim people I have ever seen. And it was right after I listened to Chris Mathews of MSNBC on TV while exercising.

I guarantee if you take these three steps good things will happen to you.

Number 1. Be a "Fast Walker". Stride with purpose. Be in a hurry to get everywhere. Check your pace today. If you find yourself walking more slowly than your fellow workers, speed up. Nothing says low energy like a "Slow Walker" Nothing communicates energy and purpose more than a fast pace.Do it today!

Number 2. Speak with conviction. Without getting into the politics of Chris Mathews, he speaks with conviction. Have you ever noticed how people will listen to and believe people who speak with conviction and with a direct manner that can be heard. Are they necessarily correct, or the most expert person on the subject? No! But most people find comfort in conviction - they want to believe they are listening to an expert. So if you are like me, always looking for more knowledge before speaking out - or speaking out and qualifying what you say, you're not getting heard. Listen to yourself - change - you've got a lot to say - speak up, speak out, let people know what you think! Do it today!

Number 3. Give yourself a facelift. Smile! It's amazing what a smile does to relationships. It transforms people - it makes them more approachable - it makes them appear successful - it says " I'm doing good". People want to identify and associate with people who feel good about themselves. Check your image and your manner. Ask people how you look to them. If your "Force Field" screams "Stay Away" then change your message - smile. I don't mean walking around with an insane grin on your face, but making a smile as much a part of your persona as other emotions. It's amazing how little effort it takes, and the return is tremendous!

Be a fast walker, speak with conviction, smile - what a combination!! Do it today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andy@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

Success Starts With Feeling Important

I was talking to a beautiful, bright artist acquaintance who is an attorney. I asked her what had made her choose the law. Her answer was that she wanted to be important and do something important with her life.

I guess it hadn’t occurred to me that wanting to be important or wanting to do important things could be a focus of career selection – but the more I talk to people it becomes apparent that personal importance and importance to their enterprise are critical factors in success – from both an individual and an enterprise standpoint.

Research has shown three things that we all want in our work; to feel we are part of a worthy enterprise; to contribute to the success of the enterprise; and to be recognized for our contribution. Take any one away and the bond is broken – take away two or three and serious trouble occurs – in turnover, sabotage, theft, dishonesty in many forms, poor customer service, poor sales support.

Our feelings and beliefs about our individual importance are critical to our success regardless how the world may view us. Without a feeling of our own uniqueness and value, it is very hard to succeed – there are too many signals coming in that can jar us and cause us to “give up” and seek our importance from the group – at the expense of how we feel personally.

Have you ever noticed how some people just plunge forward with their work – won’t take no for an answer, and, while they may leave some bodies bleeding in their wake, they get recognized and rewarded. I suggest they have a very strong conviction that what they are doing is absolutely critical to their enterprise. They are the “go to” people in every organization. They are the ten percenters every organization wants and values and works hard to keep. These people are convinced of the importance of their work, they are convinced of their personal importance, and they expect to be recognized and rewarded.

In the middle are the solid players – the people who follow process – the team players who are conscientious, want to succeed – who are willing to put in the effort to get things done right and on time. These are the majority of any organization. They also represent the best opportunity, or the biggest jeopardy, to the enterprise. Their feelings of importance are tied closely to the beliefs of working for a worthy enterprise, being recognized and rewarded, and being able to see their contribution.

Then there are the people who are rarely asked to step up – who are assigned to projects with an understanding that they have to be watched closely. These are the ten percent people that Jack Welsh targeted while at GE. They believe their performance is conditional on how well the organization treats them – the old “ pay me more and I will do more”. Their “employment contract” is conditioned upon things outside themselves being the drivers of their performance. You cannot be successful with this set of beliefs.

Assess where you are in terms of your own importance and your importance to your organization. If you don’t like what you see, start with your own sense of the importance of what you do. Every job in every organization is important. Be convinced of that – then act on that belief and watch your performance, rewards and recognition increase!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032

Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail:andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

Your Worst Enemy - Your Best Friend

I’m my worst enemy – I’m my best friend. Let me explain.

I have developed a series of beliefs in my mind that guide my behavior and my feelings and emotions. Those beliefs are based on a lot of things – experience, teaching, emotions, conditioning, – the one thing they are not based on is the truth. They are all mine -my beliefs – regardless how far from the truth they may be.

An example – I have always thought I have skinny arms. My forearms are 14” and my biceps are 15” – not huge, but not skinny. And yet, to me they are not nearly large enough. I feel like I am a small man – but I am 5’10” tall and weigh 190 pounds. Not huge, but not small. What creates my beliefs of being a small person with skinny arms? I’ll bet you have some of the same beliefs – neck too long, legs too short, butt too big, butt not big enough, 12 pack hiding a six pack , too skinny, too fat -----.

Most of these kinds of personal beliefs are harmless – but others can make or break our success in life. Peter Senge in his book The Fifth Discipline talks about the two beliefs most of us have in some measure that affect our ability to perform. These beliefs – I call them worms because they can be so imbedded in our mind – can lead to failure in our lives. And yet, the worms are not the truth. The two beliefs/worms that are so critical are: “I am not able”, and “I am not worthy”. Chances are one or both affect you – they affect at least 70% of the population!!

Dan S Kennedy, in his book No Rules, 21 Giant Lies for Success, talks about the insurance salesmen who gather on Monday morning for the weekly motivation meeting. They leave fired up to get sales, but most return on Thursday or Friday with their tails between their legs - unsuccessful in making sales. The unsuccessful ones started with their conscious mind full of positive affirmations, but with their subconscious throwing out the anchor of “I’m not able” and/or “I’m not worthy” to slow them down. And the result was that regardless how hard they worked with their conscious affirmations, the beliefs kept them from succeeding. The first time they hit rejection, their worms were there to confirm their beliefs. Their beliefs made them their own worst enemy – no one else could even come close.

So how do you overcome these worms so you can be successful. How do you become your best friend? First, you become aware of what your mind is telling you. What conversations are you having in your mind? Are you convinced that you can and will succeed? Or do you have this nagging feeling that – well – maybe this is a real stretch, and maybe I can’t do it. When you sense that kind of internal conversation, you’re on your way to overcoming the negative beliefs that have been holding you back. Once you identify them, realize they are all yours. They are your conclusions – and they are not the truth. You’ve been your own worst enemy. Challenge the negative belief - it's not the truth – replace it with a positive belief. Become your best friend. It is done every day of the week by people that discover their own value and worth, and throw out their own old, inaccurate ideas of themselves. Do it today – you are as able to do it right now as you ever will be. Help your internal beliefs align with your affirmations and watch yourself grow.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

The Status Quo In Sales - The Real Competitor

Here's the real secret to success or failure in selling - be it selling your ideas, or your products, or your services. The secret to success is being there when the prospect's continuing to do things the way they have been done - the Status Quo - isn't working.

How often have you been faced with a prospect who you are convinced could benefit from your product or service, only to have them decline to buy? What do you do about it? If you are smart, you hang in there. Circumstances have a way of changing.

A friend of mine said there are two kinds of prospects that you will sell to - the inspired and the desperate. Whether they are inspired or desperate, something has caused them to decide that where they are now is not where they want to be. That's where sales are made - when the status quo is seen - by the prospect - as no longer an acceptable place to stay.

So the real challenge is to work with the prospect to uncover situations where change can be identified as good, and the status quo unacceptable, and the potential for gain exceeds the risk of loss. Many times that isn't possible - at least in the short term. But those special four letters from Mandino's book, The Greatest Salesman In The World, come back to me - "This too shall pass." You gotta stay in play. How often have you seen things turn around and what seemed impossible one day becomes not just possible but necessary the next?

That's where the sales person that understands the Status Quo as the real competition will prosper, and the one that doesn't - that sees today's rejection as personal, or absolute, will fail.

Stay in the game.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Persistence, When It Becomes a Weakness

Persistence becomes a weakness when you are beating your head against a stone wall, and:

You're beating your head against the wrong wall
Somebody took the wall away, or moved it, and didn't tell you
You haven't looked up lately to see if you are headed toward the wall
Another wall of greater importance has been created and you haven't adjusted

- and/or-

You continue to do things the same way and expect a different outcome

When was the last time you persisted in meeting a goal, or keeping a promise you had made to yourself or to someone else, only to find that it no longer had the importance it had when the commitment was made?

Have you ever had a salesperson just keep calling and calling, and then finally you buy - or, more likely, don't buy. If you are in sales, have you ever vowed to yourself that you were going to close a particular sale, and you persisted, and did, and never got another order from that person?

Have you ever pressed on in the face of feedback that changing course should be considered, but you just kept going - convinced of the rightness of your way?

There is a fine line between persistence and obstinancy - or obsessive behavior - or bull headedness, whatever you want to call it. And knowing when that line is crossed can be very difficult.

We've all been told that quitting is bad - and it is. We've all been told that success is only 5% away - and it may be. We've all been told that persistence is a strength - and it is. But we've also seen persistence end up in frustration and failure

Persistence is a strength, but it's use is very much situational. An example is the saleperson selling a transactional item - one that is a single buy on a single sales pitch, as opposed to a salesperson in relationship selling - selling a big ticket item to an organization where the decision to buy is made at the end of a lengthy discovery and planning cycle. A transactional salesperson better not make 15 calls on one person to sell - better to spend the time in prospecting for additional transactional customers. The relationship salesperson, on the other hand, may find a hundred calls to seventy five different people in a single company over a period of years to be necessary. In the one case persistence is defined in prospecting, in the other persistence is defined in building relationships over time. The thing both salespeople have in common is working through discouragement, delays, bad news, competition, unforeseen circumstances, to reach their goal - sales revenue.

How can we know when we have let our persistence get in the way of our success? For many people, the answer is easy - "You'll know it when you see it" That's not always true.

I suggest you ask the following questions - of yourself and others, at defined steps in whatever project or endeavor you are in - even the ones that seem to be going well.

1 - Do we have a stated, commonly agreed to goal for this project, and do we regularly examine it , refine it, amend it to meet realities - (If you don't have the goal, don't go any further until you get it)
3 - To what extent can we measure our progress toward our goal ?
4 - Does this project represent a worthy goal for the organization - today?
5 - Have things changed since this was started that may affect outcomes and requirements - have adjustments been made to reflect the changes ?
6 - When's the last time we evaluated this goal, and its value to the organization?
7 - What are the positive outcomes as a result of meeting this goal?
8 - What are the consequences of not meeting this goal - personally and organizationally?
9 - What changes can we make to the goal, or to the actions to support the goal, to be successful?
10 -Does everyone working on this goal agree this is a worthy goal?
11 - Is how hard we work - measured in time, used to measure success? If it is, can we change that so results are the measure of success?

There is no score for this set of questions. The answers will tell you when you have crossed the line from persistence to spinning your wheels, and help you get back on track. And if you don't have a clear goal, get one or look other places to use your persistence.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail:andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved