Two Special People To Learn From

I've been really fortunate to know people who have shown the kind of qualities and behaviors that have such a positive effect on so many. Here are stories of two such people whose behaviors and attitudes - in the last week – have had a positive effect on me.

Catherine M sent me an E Mail about a week ago. I didn't know her, and she knew me only from an article on respect that I had written. She was looking for help. She had had a very upsetting incident that an administrator at the school where she volunteers, and where her daughter is a student, had started. Catherine was very upset – she had been criticized in front of students and others – and when she called the administrator to talk about the event and the way it had been handled, the administrator laughed at her and treated her with disrespect. She was asking me for advice. I wasn't able to access her E mail for two days, but I sent her a response as soon as I could and promised to follow up with a further response the following day. Before I could do that, Catherine sent an E mail thanking me for my comments, and telling me that she had spent the weekend volunteering at a Pediatric ward in a hospital – helping young patients. She told me that had helped her clear her head and put what had happened in perspective. Rather than let the disrespectful actions of another pull her down, she took action and reached out and helped others. And in taking action she recovered from the hurt and embarrassment she had suffered from the administrator. As she said, she wasn't going to let someone else's actions control her emotions.

Terrific – taking action and reaching out to help others – a prescription for overcoming so much of what ails people. Congratulations, Catherine, for your maturity, honesty and respect for others.

Pat S called me the other day. He is the paper delivery person who gets our papers at our front door before 5 AM every morning. We had not received a paper one morning, and I had called to report the paper as not delivered. That was the reason for Pat's call. He was very concerned about our service. He told me he makes sure he puts the papers as close to the front door as possible – and I agreed that he does that. He was sure he delivered a paper that morning. We came to the conclusion that someone had taken the paper sometime between 4:45 AM, when he delivered, it, and 6 AM – when I went out to get it. He asked what I thought he could do to see that that didn't happen in the future. I assured him he was very diligent in delivering the paper and there seemed no action other than for me to get up earlier and retrieve the paper.

He then asked me if I shopped at a grocery store near our house. I told him I did. He told me he is the meat cutter there and works full time from noon until 8:30 PM. He asked me to stop in and say Hi, and he would be happy to help me with my shopping requirements.

Pat S works a full time job and has a paper route seven days a week. And his reason for calling was to make sure I was satisfied with his service. Our entire conversation was positive and focused on service. Terrific guy – terrific attitude. He starts his paper run at 3 AM, follows that with a full time job, and finds the time to follow up with his customers.

As long as we have people like Catherine M and Pat S we're in good shape.

Taking action, reaching out, helping others, providing excellent service, being positive. Those attitudes and behaviors are all around us. I feel fortunate for that. And I thank these two very special people for the real world examples they set for me and so many others.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

How To Hire The Right People

"The first thing you have to do is hire the right people." Have you ever heard that profound piece of advice? Of course you're going to hire the right people - if you know who the right people are. If that's the case, why isn't more time spent defining what the job requires of the right person as the first step in any talent selection?

If you Google the keyword phrase "hire the right people" you will get 76,000 responses. If you Google the keyword phrase "hire the best" you will get 872,000 responses. You will find the great majority of responses deal with ways to evaluate candidates. Lots of information on tools - checklists, questions, how to structure an interview, how to write a job description, recruiting practices, and so on. But very few of those 948,000 Google responses address the key question - How to define the best person for the job - the right person for the job - based on the job, not the applicant?


Most organizations focus on the technical benchmarks. education, experience, industry knowledge, certifications, level of accomplishment and contribution, recommendations - hard information of high value - fairly easily obtained. And so these technical benchmarks and the intuition of the interviewers become the basis for the selection decision.

But the benchmarks critical to success or failure are often treated with a few statements about working in teams, ability to communicate, listening skills, sense of humor, and so on. Hard to define, describe and agree on. So the benchmarks that make the difference in success and failure - ever more so the higher up in the organization the job is - remain only vaguely identified - certainly not agreed to by the interviewers. And that is the weak link in the selection process.


It doesn't have to be that way. The stakeholders of the job, the people that have done the job, the people to whom the job reports, the peers the job works with, all have knowledge of the Behaviors, Personal Skills, and Motivators that make the difference between success and failure. Getting that information in a form that could be used in selection has been a real challenge. But now there are tools and processes that can benchmark Behaviors, Motivators or Attitude and Personal Skills that those in the know feel are necessary for success. And those benchmarks can then be used in the selection process - to see how candidates measure up to the job, not to some measure of "good enough," or "best we could find." And let's face it, no person will bring the ideal profile to the job. The benchmarks can then be used to develop the person selected so they can be more successful, quicker.


Intuition is the force guiding most selection decisions. But intuition is influenced by many different inputs, as well as the biases created through life and work experience. By adding to intuition the benchmarks of Behavior, Personal Skills and Motivators, and the consistent application and comparison of those benchmarks to the selection process, intuition can be much more secure in its decisions. And that leads to commitment toward the person selected - and that's a good thing. The "throw them up against the wall and see if they stick" approach can be replaced with a commitment to success. And when that happens, turnover goes down, retention and productivity go up. And the right people for the job - the best people for the job - strengthen the organization.

With so much more talent available, it's a good time to examine selection practices to ensure the right people are being selected for the right jobs. It's tempting to hire the best people - whatever that means - out of a large talent pool. But it's critical to select the best talent matched to the right job for that talent.


If you would like more information on how to benchmark jobs in your organization, and multiply the success of your selection efforts, give me a call.

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

Ten Behaviors For Success In A Business Downturn

A lot is written about what to do after losing a job, but what about the people who don't lose their jobs, but are faced with the results of business slowdowns - layoffs, reduced expectations, salary freezes, greater responsibility with fewer resources and the uncertainty of what's next?

In every economic downturn and resulting workforce reduction, the internal dynamics of organizations change. Everything takes on more importance - every behavior, mistake, judgment, comment gains importance way out of proportion to its value. Contrasts become much sharper. The meetings get longer - the demands get sharper - the expectations higher - the disappointments felt more deeply, and the blame game swings into action. It shouldn't be that way, but in most companies - even the best managed - workforce reductions brings home the feeling that it could happen to me. When that happens, survival trumps opportunity, safety trumps optimism, and a sense of humor has to be muted -unless the person with that sense of humor be seen as not serious - as not a player.


For many people in todays workforce, the depth and severity of this downturn is outside their experience.


So they ask if it's time to slam the hatch shut and hunker down and wait it out, or go out and look for a job, or start a business. What other alternatives are there? What can be done to not just survive, but prosper in a downturn?

Plenty - in behaviors, attitudes and personal growth. That may not seem obvious, but the choice of how to deal with a temporary setback is a personal one. And the effect of using this stressful time as the time to develop personally and professionally adds value throughout a career.

Here are ten success behaviors that can make the difference between losing, just surviving or succeeding in economic downturns.



1 - Do the work - every day. Downturns often lead to people spending way too much time on conjecture and surmise. Avoid those people - and make sure your own behavior doesn't become counter productive. I have a friend who has a saying framed and placed right where everyone can see it. It says " Don't let the bastards wear you down."


2 - Start by valuing what you have and stop wasting time mourning the loss of what was. And recognize that the boss may have had to fight hard to keep you, and now is not the time to complain about pay, assignments, or all the other issues that people reductions create. Make sure any and all conversations are positive and understood in the way they were meant to be understood. It's easy in these times of bad news for one person's suggestion to be seen as a complaint.


3 - Keep your eyes open, your ears tuned, and your mouth shut. Deal with what is - not what you might think it is, or what motive you think was behind decisions.. Your opinions and judgments are probably (90%) wrong anyway - so why waste time on them?




4 - Help a friend that lost their job. Giving and showing concern means a lot to them and even more to you. Acting without regard to getting is tremendously liberating, and the rewards for it may be in a lifelong friendship and other rewards that can't even be imagined at this time.


5 - Update your resume. Chances are that it hasn't been touched since the last time you changed jobs. Be impressed by how far you have come from a value, skills and contribution basis. If you're not impressed with your increase in value, skills and contribution, get in gear and grow!


6 - Seek self development. Even in the worst of downturns, the opportunities to grow your skills is available. An example: Don't like to speak in public? Join Toastmasters - do it on your own time. It isn't expensive and it will increase value faster than almost anything else you can do. Same goes for working in volunteer organizations - the personal skills that can be gained from working in non profits and volunteer groups have tremendous carryover value to work. Reach out to do something you have never done and never thought to do. It's stimulating. Be sure to stay current on the trade publications for your industry and/or your areas of expertise.

7 - Be a problem solver. Ever notice how many people are always ready to identify a problem, but seem to disappear when the talk turns to solutions? The problem identifiers seem to come out of the woodwork during downturns, but the problem solvers are the ones who grow - and they are a scarce commodity. And being a valued scarce commodity in a downturn - or anytime - is definitely career advancing.



8 - Inventory what you're good at - what others say you are good at - as well as what you feel are your strengths. Then build on those strengths. In downturns it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking in terms of scarcity - of what you don't have. All that does is lead to negative thoughts about self worth and ability.



9 - Stay in touch with people who you see as successful and centers of influence - at work and in your personal life. Learn from them - become a center of influence yourself. Read Harvey Mackay's book "Dig The Well Before You're Thirsty" on the importance of building relationships - and doing it every day, not just when all hell is breaking loose.



10 - Seek out things that provide motivation and inspiration. I have a friend who listens to bagpipe music on the way to work every morning - says it pumps him up - gets him ready to hit the ground running. Avoid people and programs and situations that provoke anger and negative emotions.



Come to think of it, these ten behaviors are valuable all the time, not just in a downturn. But they do take on added importance when times are tough. Take the time - right now - to see which of these success behaviors have value for you - and which ones need some work on your part. And then make this challenging time a time of personal growth. It will prepare you for the good times that are just around the corner.

Written by Andy Cox, President
Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

Your Attitude Is Showing - Now What?

Your attitude is showing - and it's not good. What to do about it?

A story about an attitude needing adjustment - and about critical personal decisions.

A very close friend had her position cut from full time to 3 days a week. Her duties and responsibilities didn't change - just her hours and her compensation - which was cut by 40%. She was given 24 hours to decide whether or not she would accept the change. She decided to stay and work through the situation. But it hasn't been easy. Three months into the part time situation, she received her annual review - by mail. Her boss has marked her attitude as "meeting standards" toward her job and toward her fellow workers. All of her previous reviews were "excellent." It's red flag time.

She works in a branch location - and with all the things she has to do there, the reduction to three days doesn't allow for face time with her boss and peers at the main location. She's disappointed that peers who were not affected by the reduction in hours and pay haven't reached out to talk to her. She feels hostage to the feedback her boss receives from other members of his staff. Her boss spends no time with her.

She feels she is being poorly dealt with - and she's right - and it shows.

But the reality is that it is her attitude that is the key issue in her review - not how she's been dealt with. And there is no more damning thing to be said about a person in a leadership role than to be described as having a "bad attitude."

Her attitude has changed - from being a key member of the leadership team dedicated to making a new enterprise work, to being a part time worker who is expected to remain a dedicated leader of the new enterprise. It's easy for her to feel like a victim. Her boss notes in her review that she is not the same person since the "temporary setback" and that she needs to talk to him about how to remediate her attitude. The implication is that should things stay the way they are, her attitude will be considered unacceptable. And we all know what that means.

A tough place to be - but it happens more often than we would like to think.

What should she and the thousands that find themselves in similar situations do?

There are two sets of issues to be deal with. The first has to do with the situation - be it a job, a relationship, a career - and it does need to be dealt with first. The second has to do with attitude.

The first issue deals with the situation. Whether to stay or go? There are so many factors in that analysis that are specific to each situation that there can be no easy answer - but it's absolutely critical that there is an answer. Too many people just stagger along, feeling some weird kind of comfort in the status quo, and then waking up years later, as Thoreau describes it, finding themselves "leading lives of quiet desperation." So the first order of business has to be the decision to stay, or to leave - and the terms and conditions for either alternative. The realization that there is a choice can, by itself, be tremendously liberating.

Then the attitude issue needs to be addressed. Once again, choice is the key. Our manager may not be able to control or choose the circumstances that led to her cut in pay and hours, but she can choose how it affects her - and how she expresses how it affects her. It's perfectly human to be angry, depressed, and feeling victimized when negative changes happen, but after the appropriate "mourning" period, it's time to choose the best response - the one that affects behavior positively. It's important not to fall into the victim mode. Victims show negative behaviors, and in addition to being repellant, very little good ever comes from them.

In our manager's case, she has decided that some projects in her job are near and dear to her heart. They are in process now, they require her full attention, and they keep her involved and associating with people outside her organization who she really enjoys - three good reasons for her decision to stay. Longer term still needs to be decided, but the success of the projects will be good for her organization, and of long term career benefit to her. Plus she can feel good that she has kept her word and her integrity and not left commitments undone. The act of making that decision has helped her dig out of most of the negativity she had been feeling. She's no longer a victim - she's in charge of herself.

The attitude issue needs work - but the stay or leave decision has made that issue an easier one to deal with. It has made her inner attitude much more positive. She is reaching out to friends, to her boss and to associates to better understand how others perceive her attitude, and to adopt behaviors that accurately express her much improved inner attitude. She wants to be positive, and focused, and optimistic, and she knows she owns the rights to those qualities. She's going to make it happen.

If you see yourself or someone else in this kind of situation, use the two issue approach to get back on track. Situations change, so can attitudes and behaviors.

Written By Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Become Thirty Percent More Effective In Selecting The Right People

Success starts with the right people in the right jobs. Particularly in leadership positions. But if that's really the belief of most organizations, why is it that so many selections fail at their jobs - or - even worse, just hang on and take up space?

Based on feedback from any number of studies, candidates hired for leadership or emerging leadership positions are successful about a third of the time, with success being defined as meeting or exceeding the expectations of the organization. About a third fail, with failure defined as not meeting the expectations of the organization, and about a third survive, with survival being defined as getting close enough to meeting expectations to avoid being let go.

Often the rationalization for this level of performance is that the best hitters in baseball only get a hit about 1 out of three times at bat - and they're considered stars. The difference is that once the batter ends an at bat - it's over.

But when a failure to get a hit in selection occurs, the problems are just beginning. Low morale, increased turnover, missed goals, reduced profit, possible lawsuits and lowered standards of performance are all part of a poor selection decision. And those problems just get worse as the decision on what to do gets put off - no one likes admitting to a mistake. And the biggest cost - the opportunity cost - the cost of not having the right person in the right job - is by far the biggest cost of a poor selection decision.

And yet, many organizations that are constantly striving and working toward improvements in quality, customer service, sales, and profits appear satisfied with the status quo in selection. While they are convinced that standing still in so many areas is actually losing competitve advantage, they don't see the same thing happening in selecting the right people for the right jobs. To the extent they stand still on improving in this most vital of areas, theyre losing competitive advantage.

It doesn't have to be that way. In fact, every organization striving to improve their selection batting average can become at least 30% more effective.

How can you add 30% effectiveness to your people selection processes - selection including hiring, transfer, promotion and team membership?

Here's how:

1 - Start by identifying a critical position that has been hard to fill - where turnover and failure to perform have been a problem. Or a critical position where fit with the existing organization is essential to success.

2 - Look for biases that have no bearing on the job that may have limited the applicant pool. I don't mean the mandated of race, sex, ethnicity, religion - those should have been dealt with long ago. I'm talking about ensuring your pool of applicants/candidates isn't being restricted by biases and assumptions and cultural differences that have no real basis from a organizational standpoint.

3 - Create the key accountabilities for the job using the key stakeholders. Prepare to be amazed at how different one key stakeholder sees them from another. Get agreement on the top three to five - even if that means having to really negotiate to agreement.This is key at the beginning of the process - agreement here will go a long way to ensuring the people involved in the selection are all on the same page. And the recruiting is targeted.

4 - Have the stakeholders identify the education, experience, industry experience, and other hard data elements. These are the quantifiable data points that every candidate must have for further consideration.

5 - Identify the behaviors, motivators and personal skills that have been successful in the job. Get them from the people who have been successful in the job, from the people with close contact and interdependence with the job, with the people who manage the job. If assessments of behaviors, attitudes and skills are currently being used, use the results of past assessments to help create the profile. If they are not in use, or the assessments in use don't lend themselves to this process, get ones that do.

6 - Have the stakeholders meet to review the findings and to use them to arrive at a profile of the ideal candidate and to prioritize must haves, want to haves and nice to haves. Use assessments to help the stakeholders in this vital step. The process is benchmarking- creating the benchmark against which all candidates will be measured. No more letting the candidate pool set the standards for success.

7 - With this information in hand, train and develop an interview team to use it in creating a coordinated interview process. And have the candidates that pass the education, experience and other hard data elements take the same assessments. Review the assessment reports of the candidates against the behavior, motivators and personal skills profile created by the stakeholders in the organization.

8 - Use what was learned in this first benchmarking project and apply it to other high value positions. The process has value at all levels - but it does take an investment of time and effort, and the early efforts should be directed at the highest potential gain positions.

Organizations that have followed this process have seen major improvements in selecting the right person for the right job. Organizations have seen their comfort level and support for newly selected people jump because there is a firm foundation for the selection decision. And the profile completed by the stakeholders provides the blueprint for development and success of the person selected. Success and retention rates have increased well beyond the 30% level in many organizations.

Examine your own process. See what tools you are currently using. Don't be satisfied measuring activity - when evaluating your current process measure results in the success of the selections. Don't confuse survival with success. It's a roadblock to increasing the level of excellence in the talent level of the organization. Real improvement comes with the right person in the right job. Use this process for your own success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www,coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Turn Negative Expectations Into Positive Outcomes

People keep disappointing me - they don't act as badly as I expect them to. I hate to admit it - but that happens all the time. It happens when I hide my negative expectations - and behave as if everything was going to be positive.

An example:

I was on a walk and a group of young men were headed toward me - late teens - four of them - walking shoulder to shoulder. There was not going to be enough space for me to stay on the sidewalk unless one of them gave way. My negative expectation was that they would make it difficult for me - it's happened before. As I got close to them, I smiled and said " How you doing?" They answered by asking me the same question. They also moved and gave me room to stay on the sidewalk.

I reflected on that little scenario, and was kind of ashamed that my expectation was that they would give me a hard time. But I felt good that - even though I didn't feel optimistic - I acted it. And the result was a pleasant exchange and we all went on our way.

How often do we let negative expectations cause negative behavior? How often do we let negative expectations create negative results? If you're like me, it's more often than I like to admit. And yet, when I work to overcome negative expectations and project positive behavior, I am pleasantly surprised. Things end up better than I expected.

What I've learned is to spend more time on positive behaviors, and less time trying to dwell on the reasons for negative expectations. How to do that?

The first step is awareness. After years of fine tuning our expectations based on our personal experience, the media, generalizations and a host of othet inputs, we act based on some really imbedded beliefs. The behaviors we adopt seem to happen so automatically we don't realize them. And those behaviors are the architects of our outcomes. Start building awareness by listening to yourself. Do you hear negative messages about how things will turn out - a sales prospect that won't buy, a proposal that will be rejected, an invitation extended but refused? If you do - and almost all of us do, you've got some expectation and behavior work to do.

Now that you've identified a negative expectation, it's time to create a positive behavior to overcome it. Look back at the sales call, the proposal, the invitation and see what could have been done to project a behavior that expressed a positive outcome. Perhaps that question that started "Would you like to-----?' could be stated differently. That proposal that apologized for the time it took to present it would have been better served with a statement of benefit. Perhaps that sales call that started with a thank you for your time could have started with a positive statement of value to the prospect. The point is to replace behavior based on negative expectations with behavior based on what we desire to be the outcome.

The next step is to learn from the result of the positive behavior - help the outcome challenge the beliefs and biases that led to the negative expectation in the first place. But don't try to over analyze where the expectation came from. Use the time to create and reinforce positive behaviors. Done often enough, the outcomes of the positive behaviors will change expectations. That's what's so great about having your actions lead your expectations.

Then do it again - and again. I guarantee positive results. I know a smile and an engaging question - "How are you doing?" work wonders with contacts. I learned it by forcing myself to use it - again and again. My expectation of people contacts has changed for the better - through my own positive actions. So will yours.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Qualities of Resourceful Leaders

Resourceful leaders get more done with available resources than less resourceful managers. It results in outcomes that far exceed expectations. It's critical for organizations challenged by competition, technology, suppliers, customers and the economy.

The ability of an organization to leverage their resources to provide excellent service, to meet and exceed commitments and to move forward technologically is a huge competitive advantage. Some organizations just seem to do a better job than others - one of the main reasons is resourceful leaders - at all levels.

What are the qualities resourceful leaders share - regardless of position within an organization?

We asked our clients - here's what they identified as eight essentials for resourceful leaders.

1 - The ability to create commitment - to get resources aligned and working toward a common goal - and a goal that is well understood. It's a "we're all in this together" approach. It's identifying and communicating a common cause that is worthy; that all can contribute to; and that results in individual and group recognition.

2 - It's being open to possibilities - wherever they may come from. It's taking inventory of what has gone before, rather than reinventing the wheel. NIH - (not invented here) thinking is unacceptable. It's engaging the people in the process - getting the best thinking and commitment of the internal experts.

3 - It's knowing success is not measured in energy expended or dollars spent, but in results. Results that come from SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant/Realistic and Time Framed. It's using goals to create expectations within the organization - from the top to the people who do the work.

4 - It's having an abundance mentality - the belief that there is plenty for everybody - you just gotta go and find it - and be open to finding it in the most unusual places. It's having the willingness to share - information, resources, credit, recognition. Collaboration skills and behaviors are essential.

5 - A resourceful leader always starts with the questions: "What do I Have?" and "What can I do with what I have?"

6 - Resourceful leaders know that simpicity is key to effective action and that complexity is the enemy of resourcefulness.

7 - It's the belief that the impact and contribution of the cumulative knowledge and effort of an effective team will always exceed that of any single person.

8 - Resourceful leaders listen and amend and learn and apply on the fly. They know that plans rarely survive the first contact with action - they value plans as a first step, and as a measure for progress and change.

Resourcefulness is part of the behavior and motivators of leaders; it exists in organizations where it is appreciated and rewarded. It's not just seen in crisis or projects - it's an everyday behavior. But it needs to be recognized and rewarded for it to grow. And the most fertile place for resourcefulness to grow is in a results oriented, goal directed environment.

Imagine how much more effective you and your enterprise can be by encouraging the development of these behaviors and beliefs and skills. Start today to develop a more resourcefulness friendly environment - and be amazed at the talent that you already possess.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Five Ways To Gain Self-Knowledge - Key To Success

Accurate self knowledge is the key to successful relationships. Notice the use of accurate? Who you think you are and who others think you are is often very different. The closer our understanding of our own behaviors, attitudes and personal skills is to how others perceive us, the better our chances for success - in anything.

Most people agree with that statement. But most people never seek out anything other than affirmation of who they think they are. There can be no increase in self knowledge with that approach. Some people will tell you they really don't care what others think. In most cases, that's not true.

See if any of the following three profiles are familiar to you.

The first person works in real estate sales. She prides herself on being honest and straightforward with her potential clients. She tells it like it is. She feels she may lose some sales with that approach, but people who understand her will be impressed by her integrity and buy from her. She sells, but she loses a lot of sales. To many of the people she does not sell, she comes across as blunt, arrogant, unwilling to listen, and only interested in what she has to say. She was stunned when she found that out. She didn't accept that feedback. She continues to sell, works very hard, but will never rise above her current level of accomplishment until she accepts that what she sees in herself and what others see is very different, and keeps her from reaching her potential.

The second profile is of a former client who instantly takes charge of any situation he sees as calling for leadership. With imperfect knowledge but with total conviction of the rightness of his ways, he goes about solving the problems of others. He has done this so often with his company's clients that his sales people dread taking him on a sales call. He sees himself as possessing a caring, kind, sharing, concerned approach that is only meant to help people that are less capable than himself. He's been fired from top level jobs five times. He is truly a legend in his own mind - and not the least interested in self - knowledge. His termination record speaks for itself.

The third profile is of a client who is a true subject matter expert - someone people should seek out to get information. She takes pride in her knowledge, and is constantly working to expand it. She is quiet, self effacing, and was one of the most judgmental people you could ever meet. She constantly found fault with others who didn't measure up to her high standards. In fact, she didn't measure up to her own high standards. She saw herself as open, willing to listen and be helpful to whoever asked. Others saw her as cold, aloof, judgmental and patronizing. When she got feedback on how others saw her, she was first shocked, then chose to seek out information that would validate the feedback, or dismiss it. Now she works hard to be accessible and share without judgment. In fact, she's made the study of human behavior one of her passions. She's on the right track.

All three people share one thing - they all can benefit from a strong dose of accurate self - knowledge. Unfortunately, only one is open to gaining it. That's fairly typical. For the one willing to open herself to input, the rewards can be amazing. For the others, nothing much changes, and neither does their situation. Too bad.

Ann Landers wrote a piece of advice about self-knowledge: " Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." It's funny - but its true. If the only thing we are willing to accept as true is affirmation, we miss opportunities to gain in self-knowledge.

Here are five suggestions to help gain more accurate self - knowledge:

1 - Seek out feedback on situations. and be ready to not be defensive. Ask people you trust questions like " How could that situation have been dealt with differently?" " What would you suggest as a different approach?" "How would you have handled it?" The answers will contain clues to how you are perceived. Make sure not to try to defend what you did. That's a sure way to shut off meaningful feedback.

2 - Identify the "Universe" of people that you work with and /or associate with. They are key to helping gain self-knowledge. Participate in a 360 degree exercise with carefully selected members of your "Universe." These exercises can be valuable - dependent on the participants, the facilitator, and the situation. Look for a process that is highly developed - and insist on a one on one debrief with a skilled facilitator.

3 - Seek out assessments of Behaviors - what people observe; Attitudes and Values - what drives or creates behaviors; and Personal Skills - what you're good at and not so good at. The use of a third party allows space to discuss the results and focus on the assessments reports as a means of discussing what might otherwise be hard to deal with issues.

4 - Seek out new experiences and people. Once relationships are established, we tend to flex to meet the needs of where we are. Often, the result is that we adapt and lose sight of who we are - to ourselves and to others. New people, places and experiences provide a chance to try different ways, and gain more self - knowledge

5 - Realize that increased self-knowledge doesn't mean changing . It may result in a change in who we think we are, and then using that more accurate perception to develop success in ways we never dreamed of.

Accurate self - knowledge is a key to success. Gain as much as you can by being open to inputs that may seem like criticism. The seeds of self - knowledge are more often found there than in affirmation. Start today to learn more about the single most important person in the world to you - yourself.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How To Increase Your Personal Value

Your personal value is the most important value you can create. Unfortunately, 7 out of 10 people in the US underestimate their personal value. It's easy to do - without even knowing it. It shows up in invisible ways - in risks not taken, jobs not applied for, opportunities not identified, relationships that never occur. It shows up in negative self talk - like "I could never do that!" or "I'm just a ------."



There are so many messages given since childhood : "don't bite off more than you can chew, " be careful," " don't stick your neck out," " only speak when you're spoken to," " know your place," "don't work too hard." "the more you do the more will be expected of you," what makes you think you're so special?" "don't be stupid." After years of being bombarded by those limiting messages, it's not hard to understand why so many of us undervalue our abilities and our worthiness.



One of the other effects of all those messages can be to let others create our value. If the highest order of our personal goals is to please and satisfy others - to respond to those messages - we can never place the real value we should on ourselves.



Having a limited view of our personal value can be a good thing - if it makes us strive harder to achieve. And for many it does - many of the top leaders and most successful people use their feelings of "not quite good enough" as a way to motivate themselves to show just what they can do. Unfortunately, for many, this same feeling of "not quite good enough" results in not taking risks, not reaching out for opportunities. The result is that personal value stagnates - and being "not quite good enough" becomes a way of life - a firmly embedded belief.



So how can we increase our personal value - in our work, our family, our relationships? Here are methods, tools and beliefs we all can use to better understand and increase our personal value:



Start with this exercise:

Write down all the successes and challenges you have met and overcome. If you're not used to thinking in terms of your own successes, or if your beliefs have been shaped to where you question your own worthiness or ability this may take some time. Write down as much as you can, and keep coming back to it. This is strictly a personal exercise, and is not the place for humility. Begin to notice what happens when you write down positive successes in your life. A lot of today's challenges and opportunities start to look a lot more doable when compared with what you have already accomplished - and there are so many more accomplishments and successes than you realized! Your energy picks up as you begin to realize just how much value you have created.

Create goals for the important things. It's amazing just how many really important accomplishments and successes are never really identified because people didn't take the time to define define them - in writing. Make goal setting a habit.

Start a Success Diary. Force yourself to write down all the things that went right - that you accomplished on a daily basis. Become positively accountable to yourself. Writing down what you did well becomes something you look forward to doing every day. And the more you do it - the more you want to do it.

Replace perfect with good. Nothing limits a sense of personal value more than having the belief that only perfect is good enough.. That belief creates an impossible barrier to accomplishment. Nothing's perfect - striving to do better is what motivates.

Be realistic, but stretch that realism to set the course for accomplishment. Tell yourself "This is a stretch, but it's what I want to do, and I'm going to go for it!" The only way to add value is to reach beyond where we are right now - and that requires a level of risk. Risk and increasing value go together.

Realize the most common assumption people make that keeps them from realizing their true value is the assumption that many other people share the same skills, abilities, experiences, beliefs, attitudes and personal skills that they do. Nothing could be further from the truth. Creating our own value requires the belief that we are truly unique - we are, you know.

Realize that we all feel fear, we all get nervous, we all are insecure in our ability to overcome problems and create solutions. A saying I read years ago said " Be kind to your fellow man - we all have our private hells to deal with." Knowing that even the most self assured, attractive, apparently successful people share fear as an emotion, and have their own baggage of doubts, can help us overcome our own.

Many of us tend to undervalue our accomplishments and experience and put ourselves in small niches. Realize how valuable and broad your accomplishments really are! Good examples are men and women coming out of the military – great experience – but many see themselves as much more limited than they really are. Realize that behaviors, attitudes and personal skills are transferable - and represent the greatest opportunities for success in any job.

Take an inventory of all the value added actions that exist around what you do. Example - A young manager volunteered to take on a one time project for his employer. He was named Project Manager - in addition to everything else he had to do. He discovered project management skills - that he had in abundance - were scarce. He always assumed that others had what he had - a bad assumption. He ended up taking his skills and putting them to work in a business where project management was a core competency. He prospered.

Realize that fears and doubts and negative issues will not go away - they reappear every day. They are one of the engines of accomplishment. Facing them and dealing with them - and in many cases succeeding - and in others failing, but continuing to persist, adds value.

Start today on your journey of discovery of your personal value. Start with the exercise of writing down all the things you have accomplished, succeeded in and overcome in your life. Be prepared to be amazed at yourself.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How To Choose Your Response - The 24 Hour Rule

Choose your response - how do you do that? In the face of being flamed in an e mail; getting a less than favorable performance review; receiving poor customer service; getting a rejection to a sales pitch; being pressured by a sales pitch; feeling a sense of obligation to respond; or any of a thousand other ways, how do you choose your response?

It ain't easy, but the answer is to invoke the "24 Hour Rule." That Rule states that, except for life threatening emergencies, you have 24 hours to respond to most events. The Rule says that instant response is, in most cases, not best response. The Rule says that quick response favors the person or event that put you in the position of having to respond. The Rule says that taking the time to choose a response favors you - it shows emotional maturity and the ability to respond effectively. The Rule also says that most things that have the potential to create instant response, such as being cut off on the freeway, aren't worth any response.

The Rule provides the space to consider alternatives, consult, get advice, information and facts, and see the situation from different perspectives. In most situations, that results in a best possible situation.

Let's face it - in work, there are many situations where a response is expected right away. It would be suicide not to give an immediate response. But that response can be shaped as a request for the time to take action to get facts, touch base with others, look at alternatives. Rarely will the situation call for a snap decision based on incomplete information and analysis of alternatives. If a person demands an immediate response, there's a good chance that action, rather than decision, will be acceptable and expected, as long as the request includes a time commitment.

On a different level, a story about car buying and the 24 Hour Rule:

My daughter was shopping for an almost new SUV. She had found one in her price range, but it was a dull color and she was really not very interested in it. On the other hand, she needed a newer vehicle, it was in the price, age and mileage range, and it was the brand she wanted, and there didn't appear to be many on the market. Plus the salesman told her there were other people interested in it, and she should act now to buy it - or face the possibility of losing it. She called me; we talked about what was good and bad about the deal. I told her to remember there is always another vehicle; and if she really didn't like the color, that was an acceptable reason for passing. She passed. She spent a week or two looking at other SUV's. After about two weeks, the salesman she passed on called: he had an SUV that fit all of her requirements, and it had all the bells and whistles, and it was a great color. She bought it - she's happy. She would have hated that first SUV - she would have regretted not waiting. The 24 Hour Rule worked for her.

A suggestion: Take an inventory of your own decisions. Do you act impulsively on things? What price have you paid for acting on impulse? Do you have regrets or an "if only" feeling about decisions, actions, purchases that you have made? If you do, put the 24 Hour Rule in your self talk. And the next time you're tempted to respond immediately, ask yourself if taking 24 hours to choose your response can help you make a better response. I guarantee that in 95% of your situations, that time will be well spent.

Replace the " act in haste, repent at your leisure" behavior by using the 24 Hour Rule - it works.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Eight Bad Assumptions We All Make, and How To Remedy Them

Assumptions have the potential to get you in trouble - big trouble. The assumptions that are the subject of this article are the ones we make based on our own behaviors, attitudes, and skills. We start by assuming that others think, act and have skills similar to our own. In fact, each of us is so unique that assumptions based on behaviors, attitudes and skills will result in being wrong at least 70% of the time.

An example:

A client had a manager who was highly intelligent, very energetic, demanding and always looking for new approaches to problems. Not a bad combination of attributes in a manager. He was also firmly convinced of the rightness of his ways. The business he was managing was in crisis - it needed firm direction. The problem was the frequency of new initiatives. He would direct his limited staff to new issues requiring action and resources on a weekly basis. The stretched thin, survival trained staff did all that they could to keep up -but they invariably fell behind. Lots of balls in the air - lots of activity - no additional resources. The manager assumed that since he had instructed his people on what to do that they were doing it - and they were afraid to tell him the truth.

He assumed his people would act the same as he did when his boss told him to do something. He would make his bosses request his first priority, and do whatever had to be done to get it done. He assumed his people would do the same when he made the same kind of demands.

That was a bad assumption.

He was very proud of all the things he was doing to turn this business around, and for the first few months, progress - measured by activity - was good. And then the cracks started to show. Shipments delayed, quality issues, turnover of critical people, earnings estimates missed. His response was to turn up the pressure to get the things done that he had assumed were either done or well on their way to completion. He was stunned to see that very little had really changed. His people were bogged down - too many balls in the air - too many things to focus on. He was fired.

So much of what had happened could have turned out differently, if he had assumed less, and verified more.


What follows are eight of the most common assumptions we all make in our work- every day. They have the potential to be fatal to our careers. The assumptions, a short narrative and a suggested remedy for each follow.

Assumption 1 - My boss and I are on the same page.


The newer the relationship, the better the chance that this assumption is wrong. Often very wrong.

Remedy - Ask your boss to write down the 3 to 5 most important things that you must do , and you do the same. Exchange your answers -being in agreement on 2 to 3 out of 5 is very good.


Assumption 2 -My people and I are on the same page.


Once again, the newer the relationship, the better the chance that this assumption is false - and really dangerous.


Remedy - Do the same thing with your people that you did with your boss - do the boss thing first.

Assumption 3 -I shouldn't have to ask.


Why not? Every one else has to. The very idea that other people should know what to do or how to act is so far from the truth that many, many relationships are destroyed by the assumption that someone should know enough to keep you from having to ask.


Remedy - Ask. If asking sticks in your throat - and it does for a lot of people, read the "Aladdin Factor" by Victor Hansen. Terrific book

Assumption 4 -People will do what I tell them to do.


Not necessarily. There are lots of reasons that they may do something other than what you anticipated. More pressing work, a misunderstanding about what is to be done, conflicting priorities, you name it, it exists.


Remedy - Create goals with the end in mind. Then communicate the goals, then hold regular updates - formally or informally, depending upon the culture of your organization.

Assumption 5 - People see things the same way I do.


Not true. Put a group of people in a room - show them the same picture. Watch the different interpretations, conclusions, ---. And yet they were all in the same room - given the same instructions - looked at the same thing. Amazing.


Remedy - Create goals that clearly state the result and the steps to take to reach it. Involve the people who will participate in meeting the goal in the development of the goals.

Assumption 6 -My managers have all the freedom they need to accomplish their goals.

Probably not. Reminds me of a highly experienced manager hired to run a Canadian acquisition of a US. His boss, the CEO, told everyone he had complete authority. Actually, he couldn't approve even a $10 expenditure without corporate accounting's approval. As soon as that became apparent, he lost a lot of influence with his people. The CEO said accounting had to be involved. His idea of involvement, the new manager's and the accounting department's take were very different. It never got resolved. The new manager resigned after 6 months .

Remedy - This is where the bureaucracy needs to be checked carefully. The boss assumes their people have the same approval and indirect reporting relationships and understandings as they do. Not. The boss needs to lead in developing effective, consistent working relationships up, down and sideways for their people.

Assumption 7 -People who speak with conviction are experts on the subject. Not necessarily.

Often the person speaking the loudest and with the most conviction is in fact drowning out the real expert who doesn't share the same behavior profile.

Remedy - Make sure all have the opportunity to voice their contribution. Be skeptical of all inputs until all the players are heard. Don't let anecdotal feedback overly influence the decision. How often have we all heard about the mysterious "they" that said something and it got play way out of proportion to its value and substance? Check any newspaper for examples of that dynamic.

Assumption 8 - People will see the same opportunity the same way I do.

No they won't. In fact, roughly 70% of the population will see consequences and problems before they see opportunities - if they see them at all. That leaves 30% that may see things the same way you do - not a high percentage. Both consequence and opportunity people are valuable, contributing people in every organization - value both inputs.


Remedy - Be sure to communicate what you see as the opportunity in terms of your people's interests. And be sure to listen to and value the issues and problems the pessimists will bring up - better to get them on the table than have them fester in the group without recognition or resolution.


Assumptions can be the biggest hurdle every manager and leader has to overcome in their career. Assumptions made about them, assumptions they make about others, all have low probability of being accurate. Start by checking your own thinking against the 8 assumptions stated in this article. Then act to replace them with goals and comunications that align effort with expectations. Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Increase Success In Evaluating People

How do you increase your success in evaluating people? Education, technical skills, experience and industry knowledge can be defined and verified. But most people don't succeed or fail because of those elements of who they are. Most people succeed or fail based on how well their mix of values, attitudes, behaviors and personal skills fit the situation. And the higher one goes in an organization, the truer that becomes. How to get at that information when evaluating people for selection, promotion, team involvement and personal and organizational development?

Experts and successful leaders all share a little known fact about human behavior, and use it in evaluating people. They know that every one of us believes other people will act, react, understand and judge as we would - given the same circumstances. That is not a correct belief - but it is a belief.

Professionals use that information to gain insights into what people really believe, how they will behave, and what personal skills they value. Being able to do that is a secret to success in selection, relationships and leadership.

How do you do that?

Example: With a candidate, ask them to provide a situation where something was done - preferably work related. Then ask him/her the who, what, when, where and why questions about the situation and how it played out. Here's the secret: rather than ask them about their role, ask them about the roles, actions. motives, values of others involved in the situation. Be ready to gain insights and information about the candidate as he/she reflects on the attitudes, motives, behaviors and skills of others. The key is that we all tend to think that others act, judge, assume and possess many of the same skills as we do. By asking about a third person you do the following:

- People tend to be freer in providing their opinions, assumptions and judgments when it is directed at someone other than themselves.

- By speculating on the motives, judgment and behaviors of others, the candidates are telling a great deal about themselves. And if they won't speculate, they're still telling a lot about themselves.

A story to illustrate how this technique can be used:

A company undergoing substantial change in its behavior toward its employees, as a result of a crisis, was attempting to hire a Chief Operating Officer who would be critical to the success of the behavior change. One of the principal concerns of the new CEO was that the person hired would reflect the behaviors and beliefs that would be critical to the change. Old habits and values die hard, and the organization had a lot of very valuable, experienced people who had prospered in a very authoritarian, compliance, do what you're told to do, micro-managed culture. The culture envisioned by the CEO was very different. Open communication, trust, people as our biggest asset, less stove pipes, more cross functional teams, encourage innovation, high leverage,of talent were all part of his vision.

As the CEO interviewed each of the top candidates for the position, they all agreed with his vision. All were able to provide examples of how they had either built or maintained that kind of culture in their past jobs. All agreed the vision of culture the CEO had was the way to go. Personal chemistry was good with all the top candidates. Their references were excellent. How to pick this critical person to lead change?

The CEO decided one last round of in depth one on one interviews was in order. The focus of the interviews would be on better understanding the candidates own behaviors, attitudes and personal skills. And he would do that by engaging them in conversations about the behaviors, skills and attitudes of other key people the candidates had worked with.

Key questions he asked each candidate included:

Why do you think that person made that decision?
What do you think motivated them to make that decision?
What do you think that decision was based on?
What would you do if you had been in their shoes?
How do you think he/she should have handled it?
Were they successful in that situation? What made them successful?
What kept them from success?
How did the people affected by the situation handle it?
Who was to blame for the situation? Who got the credit/recognition?

The CEO was looking for attitudes, values, behaviors and acknowledgment of personal skills that he felt were critical to the culture change process. By having the candidates evaluate the behaviors, values, and personal skills of others he was able to better understand the candidates own unique mix of values, behaviors and skills. What came out of that last round of interviews helped him make what is always - after all the dust has settled - an intuitive decision. But an intuitive decision based on a much greater understanding than by simply evaluating candidate responses to questions about themselves.

Can this approach be applied at other levels in an organization? Of course.

If you are using assessments to evaluate people for selection, check to see if they provide you with these kinds of insights. If they don't - or if they are too complex to be applied in the real world, look for assessments that can help. They exist, I can assure you.

In addition to assessments, hiring managers and their support people can develop the expertise to make this approach a key part of their selection and development process. People have beliefs that come out in their perception of the behavior of others. A good example is the high control micro manager. There is a very good chance that a high control person has a value that places low trust on others, and that person assumes others feel the same way. Interviews can peel away the responses that the candidate feels are expected, and get at their beliefs - the belief they express through their opinion of others.

Another example is the person who uses blame in a response to a question about others - either to defend or to place fault. You can bet that person will be a blamer, regardless how they may portray their own behavior in an interview.

It's important to get the candidate to tell you about themselves, but it is equally valuable to get them to tell you about their evaluation of others - it tells you so much about them. Use this key to increase your success in dealing with people in all kinds of situations.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com, Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Procrastinators Never Have An Easy Day

Pity the poor procrastinators. They never have an easy day. They can't - with so many things hanging over their heads - and most of them are the most important things, or the things that are feared the most, or are seen as having to be done perfectly.

So procrastinators have to stay really busy doing other things to convince themselves that they're too busy to do the things they don't want to do, but that need to be done, or that they want to do so well that they can never measure up to their own standards.

And so, at the end of each day, they collapse in exhaustion, once again convinced that a lot got done - a good day. And for some time, there is a good feeling about all the "thin" things that were accomplished. Meanwhile, the bear in the room just keeps getting bigger - and badder - and more difficult to address - and more challenging to do right. And then it's too late - but it's never too late.

What happened?

One of the things that happened was so much time was spent on the process and challenges and possible pitfalls that the goal got lost. Preparation and process became more important than anything else. And then, after all that effort, it wasn't good enough - it had to be perfect. So much time was spent on it - whatever it is - that producing anything less than the best was unacceptable.

Maybe there were questions of being able - or worthy - or both. And so it was kept at arm's length, and touched - and poked - and started, but there was never real commitment - there was always something more pressing to do - and those pressing things always got in the way of answering the question of ability or worthiness. What a relief!

Maybe the time frame was set with the due date as the focus - rather than focusing on what could be done today. And as the due date kept getting nearer, and panic set in, and work started, it was too late, and the due date was missed, or the procrastinator gave up - quit. And yet, at the beginning, there seemed to be plenty of time.

Maybe the request to do something was seen as an imposition and as unreasonable. But rather than confront the unreasonable demand, the decision was made, most often subconsciously, to delay, and show whoever made the demand that it couldn't be done in their time frame. The lack of accomplishment, or of failing to meet expectations is the response to the demand. It's called passive aggressive behavior.

A pretty bleak picture of what procrastination - putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done, or at the least started, today, can cost. High stress, guilt, regret, reinforcement of not being able or worthy, quitting and a host of other negative emotions and behaviors surround procrastinators. It's too bad - since most are hard workers, and smart, and able and worthy - and busier than most other people. It's just that their own self talk and their own behavior makes it almost impossible for them to have an easy day - a day without the negative emotions mentioned.

Is there hope? Of course there is - a behavior can be changed and so can a habit of thought. But since I want that subject to be written perfectly, I want to give it a lot of thought, and make sure i'm able to write it. Look for it tomorrow - that's the day most procrastinator's live for.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Self Criticism - Constructive Skill or Destructive Habit?

Self talk is one of our most powerful tools for growth, or for reinforcing those two worms - "I'm not worthy" and "I'm not able." Constructive self criticism is a positive, skill building habit of thought. Destructive criticism - berating ourselves for all kinds of things - just beats us down - it just keeps telling us we're not worthy, or not able, or both. And we do it to ourselves!

So how do we ensure our self talk is helping us? Try the following:

Which of the these questions are you more likely to ask yourself?

What could I have done better? What did I learn? What can I take from this experience to do better next time?

or

You dummy - why did you do that? I wish I'd said ---! I really blew it!

One set of questions deals with possibilities and growth. The other is beating ourselves up - you can almost hear the whip cracking.

If you're working to improve your self esteem, and at the same time improve your skills, experience and accomplishments, you gotta be conscious of the kind of criticism you direct at yourself. The next time you start to criticize yourself be sure to ask if the criticism is really necessary – is it constructive – does it have the potential to improve your performance – does it encourage you - does it celebrate your accomplishments? If you can answer yes to those questions, everything is OK. If you can’t, if you spend a lot of time looking in your own rear view mirror and not liking what you see, I suggest this exercise to help you break one habit and replace it with another:

Write down five constructive criticism questions. Use them to ask yourself about your own behavior, skills and accomplishments. Paste them everywhere - read them every day - answer them every day - do it for thirty days.

I guarantee, at the end of thirty days, you will have started to replace negative self talk with positive self criticism and a greater understanding of yourself - Personal Skills of the top ten percenters.

Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800 E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Self Promotion - Essential to Success

"Self promoter - me? You mean like Don King, Paris Hilton, rappers, TO, O'Reilly, Al Franken, movie stars- those kinds of people? That's not me - I'm uncomfortable talking about myself - I let my work speak for itself."

People - lots of them - have that conversation with themselves every day. Only problem is that in most cases, your work doesn't speak for itself - it can't, without some help. And the only person that can give the help is you. No amount of "a-wishin, a -hopin and a-prayin" is going to change that for the vast majority of us.

When someone compliments you on work you have done, do you give it an "Aw shucks, it wasn't that much"? Trust me, if you say it wasn't much, people will believe you. Modesty is a virtue but it can also be a handicap.

How can you promote yourself, demonstrate your value, and do it without looking like your own best cheerleader?

The first thing you have to do is accept the fact that you are - in fact - your own best cheerleader.

The second thing you need to do is perform - produce results, exceed expectations, volunteer for special assignments, accomplish.

And then make your accomplishments known to the people that count.

How do you do that? Set a structure that provides visibility. Create goals - share them - have the appropriate people help with setting goals - and then exceed them. Set up regular report points - allowing you visibility and progress reporting. Set up opportunity and jeopardy meetings to review progress and pinpoint problems and their solutions. It's the best kind of self promotion. And then be the cheerleader for the people who helped meet the goals. Share the credit for accomplishment with your workgroup.

Rather than seeing promoting yourself as a negative behavior - see it for what it really is -a critical skill and behavior.

Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Now Why Did They Do That?

If you really want to drive yourself crazy, just try to figure out the motives behind the actions of others. I was reminded of just how futile that can be while listening to many of the talking heads as they discussed the motives behind many of the tactical and strategic moves by different candidates. They get paid for it – and still they're wrong most of the time.

Very few things can create more issues and problems than trying to get at the motives for many of the decisions and actions of people at work. How often can you recall deciding someone did something for Reason A, only to find out someone else thought the very same action was taken for Reason B, and another thought it was for Reason C. Only later did you all find out that the real reason – Reason D – was so far from what you all had thought that you were astonished, or disappointed, or embarrassed.

Trying to determine motive is a habit of thought – a bad habit of thought. It wastes your time and energy in arriving at conclusions that are almost always wrong – and have little positive value. What a path to personal failure!

How do you avoid this trap that can have such a negative impact on your success? Work hard to stop trying, and take things as they are – deal with what is in front of you, and not with what you think someone’s motive might have been.

A story about staying in the moment:

A Buddhist monk being chased by a tiger. He came to a cliff and grabbed the one vine hanging over the cliff, and started to lower himself down the vine. Looking down he was terrified to see another tiger waiting for him at the bottom of the cliff. He was trapped. As he hung there, not sure what to do, he noticed two things: a mouse that was busily chewing on the vine that was his sole support It was just a matter of time before the mouse chewed through the vine and he would fall to his certain death.. He lacked the strength to reach the mouse. The other thing that he noticed was a small strawberry plant – growing out of the cliff. On it, and within easy reach, was one perfect, ripe strawberry. What do you think he did?

Answer: He ate the strawberry, and it was delicious! End of story.

I suggest you remember that story the next time you look beyond what is in front of you – remember to deal with what you can see and what has been given to you – and don’t waste time on conjecture. You will be more successful for taking that approach.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Bill Maher - The Incredible Shrinking Man

I gotta tell ya. I saw a clip of the Maher late night rip of George Bush. Wow!!

Setting aside the politics, I've never seen anyone show their true colors the way Maher did. I don't usually write about this kind of thing, but not too long ago I wrote a blog about either saying something good about a person, or not saying anything at all. The objective of the blog was to show how badmouthing others discredits the badmouther much more than it affects how people feel about the badmouthee - in this case George Bush.

Maher did a great job of illustrating that point. Maybe that's what you do in his business, but if that's what you have to do to get on late night TV and earn a living, count me out. I don't know how tall Maher is, but after that performance, I'd say he's two feet tall and shrinking.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

The Most Feared Question In Business

What follows is a conversation - one that happens all too often in business. The status quo, how managers have been trained, what got them to where they are, and business realities all play a part in this conversation. Listen to our fictitious, but all too real manager as he or she has this ongoing talk with themselves.

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"What Do You Think?"The boss said I should try that question with my people. Uh oh, if I ask that question I might get an answer that I don't like, or that I have to act on, or that provides information I need to communicate, or that makes me communicate a response. I really don't want that - Why won't people just do what they're told, and let it go at that.

No one ever asked me "What do you think?" I'm supposed to do this because the Boss said we're one big family and need to respect opinions and access everyone's experience to help pull us out of this hole we are in?

You know, I've worked for companies for over 20 years, and I've always done what I was told, I've been a good soldier, a hard worker, and I 've always got the job done. That's what I'm comfortable with. That's what got me promoted. And now I'm asked to throw all that out the window and start a touchy feely approach to getting things done.This idea that some snot nosed college grad I juast hired can come in here and tell me something is pure BS. They gotta pay their dues - just like I have.

Besides, if I start to ask "What do you think?" I 'm going to lose control of my people. I've always prided myself on having the technical knowledge and problem solving skills to keep ahead of problems. All they gotta do is what I tell them to do. What's so tough about that? Besides, if I change how I behave, they won't know what to do - all I'll do is confuse them.

Of course, since we downsized and I lost 20 percent of my people, it's gotten a lot harder to stay on top of things. I've had to work harder, and smarter and longer. Then I look at the lazy bums in my workforce - still leaving at quitting time - like always. Yeah, they got done what I told them to do, but you'd think they would stick around. We're in trouble, and we need every one to pull a bigger load - why don't they ask for more work? I shouldn't have to ask "What do you think?"- they should be coming to me! I'll impose a manadatory 10 hour day to get their attention, that's way more effective than a "What do you think?"

It's been a week since I announced the 10 hour day. Well, that went over badly. Wow! It really got me some problems around here! The Boss wants to see me. Something about leveraging my assets? Apparently somebody in my group complained. What the hell? How am I going to impress on these people the severity of our problems if I can't even demand more of their time? Wait till I find out who did it - I'll squash them like a bug!

Well the Boss made it short and sweet. He didn't want any more problems coming from my group. Told me to use a better approach to leverage my assets. There's that word leverage again - all it means is I have to work harder. He told me to ask "What do you think?"I told him I would do what I could do, but with us falling behind, and the two people that just quit and I can't replace, I didn't have time for a lot of talk.. He said he didn't want to hear about my troubles - just get it done.

I took action right away. I pride myself on going right at things - take action and worry about it later. Well, nothing changed - I didn't think it would. I tried - I had a meeting with all my people. I stood up in front of them, crossed my arms, told them what I expected from them, then asked them "What do you think?" I've never asked that before, and sure enough, nobody had any thoughts. That should put that to rest.

It's been a month since the last meeting with my people. I've been working like crazy - hardly ever get to see my wife and kids. But if that's what it takes, so be it. My boss got let go last week and a new Business Unit Manager has been assigned - a young guy. He says things have to change, and we all need to be on the same team, and we need to keep our eye on the ball. Hell. I don't even know what game we're supposed to be playing. I'll just keep banging away - and things will get better.

Two weeks since my boss got canned, and today I got notice that my workgroup is being reassigned and there is no place for me - I think that's called being fired. I really didn't see this coming. I thought keeping my shoulder to the wheel, my eye on the ball, and my feet firmly planted on the ground and then working in that position would keep me employed. It's all politics. I wonder if I have an age discrimination complaint? My wife isn't going to like this.
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A cautionary tale - but all too typical. Managers who can't ask the most feared question in business can't be successful in businesses that require commitment and that value the "collective genius" of their people. And the companies that don't value individual contribution and commitment - the compliance companies - the "My way or the highway" companies - just keep disappearing - either through behavior change or through ownership change or bankruptcy.

Practice your "What do you think?" question, and how you deal with responses. Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail:acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Magazine Fulfillment Service Non Service

Sales opportunity available to magazine fulfillment services!

I have been trying to get a magazine fullfillment service used by Delta Airlines to get me a subscription from Financial Times that I bought with Delta Miles November 12, 2006. I have sent 2 E mails and made 5 phone calls to this service - and 5 phone calls to Financial Times as well. As of January 15th, I was told by this service that they could find no record of my order, and they were submitting my order 1.15.07. This was after, in December, I was told by this same service that my subscription was to start on Dec 18th, and they would check to see what happened and get back to me. They never got back to me. As of today, Financial Times has no record of a subscription for me, and the rep at the service said I should expect to wait 4 to 8 weeks from January 15th for my first copy!

By the way, this is the same service used by American Airlines, and they simply lost a subscription to Men's Journal that I placed in November - when asked about it's status, a rep said they had no record. I sent them the acknowledgment of the subscription E mail I had received. They insisted they had no record of my request - didn't offer any remedy - I subscribed to Men's Journal from another service.

If you're selling fulfillment services, get your butt over to AA and Delta and take this blog. I suspect my story is like lots of others. If you need more info, contact me directly.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax : 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Confusing Hope and Intentions With Results

I recently bought, at a garage sale, an almost new Nordic Track Achiever Cross Country Ski exerciser. Perfect condition, hardly any wear on it all all. Still stiff from not being used. Paid $40 for a $500 machine - great deal for me!! I wonder just how many millions - possibly billions of dollars have been spent on exercise machines that now occupy the furthest corners of basements and attics and garages ? I call them the "feel good" machines.

The purchasers really felt good when they bought them. The act of buying had value in itself. They were on their way to better health, weight loss, attractiveness.

They were all bought with the best of intentions and expectations. Buying them was the first step to the result of self improvement. Then, for 90% of the purchasers, the next step, persistent action, proved too difficult, and the machines were left in place until facing them and failing to use them became so burdensome that they were hidden away. Some got sold to second hand stores, some given to Goodwill, some sold throught ads, some at garage sales. All of these exercise machines have one thing in common - the purchasers confused hope and intention with action and results. Their purchases were emotional - based on the best of reasons, and then abandoned to the scrap heap. I wonder what I would have to pay to corner the market on gently used Thighmasters?

There are lots of other examples of this behavior - purchasing something to give ourselves the feeling that we had taken action to solve a problem. I 'm looking at software to learn Spanish and French - I installed it on my computer - I wanted to learn two foreign languages - that's as far as I got. They've been on my computer for two years now - I still haven't studied them.

How many books have been purchased based on the emotional appeal of losing weight, getting rich, investing like the pros, becoming a successful leader, or being able to raise kids the "right" way? Every purchase represented hope - hope that the contents will improve the readers condition. But, just like the exercise machines, that's as far as most people get - and the second hand stores are full of barely opened copies.

Companies are no different - take safety as an example. Rersearch has shown that 90% of accidents at work are due to unsafe acts, but most safety expenditures are for equipment, not to develop safer behaviors.

Cars are another example - more and more safety equipment, more and more regulation designed to make driving safer, and yet the primary reason for accidents remains unsafe acts by the nut behind the wheel.

So what's this rant about? It's about recognizing that the purchase of something is a good thing - if it leads to commitment and resolve to see your hope and dreams through to completion. It means I won't be finding many more $500 Nordic Tracks for $40, and a lot more Thighmasters will break from use, but that just means more people translated dreams into realities - and good for them!

Look in your own bookcases, in your attics and garages and basements, then resolve to use what you bought when your were full of hope. Do it - today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph:602-795-4200; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved