Looking At Life Through The Rear View Mirror

Many of us spend a significant amount of time looking through the rear view mirrors of our lives. Some people spend all their time there – some spend no time there - but most have a nice balance between looking at what's behind and what's ahead.

Sometimes the “mirror” can be really helpful, and sometimes it can cough up those really embarrassing, stupid, negative memories that are best forgotten, but that the mirror wants to keep front and center.

Have you ever had the experience of suddenly being confronted, in your mind, with something you did in the past that you wish you hadn’t, or that you regretted, and that "something" flashes up on your brain screen and sends a chill down your spine, or a flop to your stomach, or a tear to your eye – or a song to your heart?

Funny – very few of my rear view mirror flashes send a song to my heart. I don't know about you, but my mirrors tend to be critical of my behavior – the coulda’, woulda, shoulda ‘s that make me feel less good about myself. My rear view mirror wants to keep the negative stuff more available than the "bring a smile " stuff.

I’m talking about those little drops of negative emotional water that hit your brain, again and again, and in so doing create a groove or funnel for continued negative flashes.

What these flashes do is create habits of thought that affect our beliefs about our personal worth, ability and value. And those negative mirror flashes feed those two little worms - the "I am not worthy" one, and the "I am not able" one. And they grow. And we do it to ourselves.

The most powerful messages we receive about our ability and value are the ones we send ourselves. And we're often not aware that we're even doing it. That's the thing about habits - both good and bad. They become so ingrained that we just do them. The good news is habits can be changed. Not stopped, but replaced with other habits.

If your rear view mirror keeps sending you negative messages about your past, here are suggestions on ways to change that destructive habit of thought.

1 - Be aware that it is happening. That sounds so obvious, but habits are sneaky. They get so ingrained that they seem unconscious. The first step is to challenge your thoughts. Are they helpful? Are they destructive? Do they help or hinder?

2- Prepare a list of the top 100 things that make you smile, make you feel thankful, make you proud, make you feel worthy and able. Write them down. This can be tough - especially if your messages have been negative for a long time. But it is the key step to replacing those negative thoughts.

3 - Review them every day and add to them as you think of more positive messages.

4 - When a negative thought message comes through, catch yourself and tell yourself to stop! And then replace it with one of your 100 or more "guaranteed to make you feel good about yourself" messages you have written down.

5 - Persist. Habits take time and dedication to change. Keep reminding yourself of the value of thinking positively about yourself. And of how much better it makes you feel.

6 - Think of your rear view mirror as having two modes - one that lets in all the bright lights that can blind you, and the other mode that filters so you can see more clearly.

Let's face it, life has and will continue to throw all kinds of challenges at us. Using your rear view mirror to prepare for the challenges to be faced is a powerful habit of thought. Take a look in yours right now, and bcome aware of what a positive tool it can be.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Become Thirty Percent More Effective In Selecting The Right People

Success starts with the right people in the right jobs. Particularly in leadership positions. But if that's really the belief of most organizations, why is it that so many selections fail at their jobs - or - even worse, just hang on and take up space?

Based on feedback from any number of studies, candidates hired for leadership or emerging leadership positions are successful about a third of the time, with success being defined as meeting or exceeding the expectations of the organization. About a third fail, with failure defined as not meeting the expectations of the organization, and about a third survive, with survival being defined as getting close enough to meeting expectations to avoid being let go.

Often the rationalization for this level of performance is that the best hitters in baseball only get a hit about 1 out of three times at bat - and they're considered stars. The difference is that once the batter ends an at bat - it's over.

But when a failure to get a hit in selection occurs, the problems are just beginning. Low morale, increased turnover, missed goals, reduced profit, possible lawsuits and lowered standards of performance are all part of a poor selection decision. And those problems just get worse as the decision on what to do gets put off - no one likes admitting to a mistake. And the biggest cost - the opportunity cost - the cost of not having the right person in the right job - is by far the biggest cost of a poor selection decision.

And yet, many organizations that are constantly striving and working toward improvements in quality, customer service, sales, and profits appear satisfied with the status quo in selection. While they are convinced that standing still in so many areas is actually losing competitve advantage, they don't see the same thing happening in selecting the right people for the right jobs. To the extent they stand still on improving in this most vital of areas, theyre losing competitive advantage.

It doesn't have to be that way. In fact, every organization striving to improve their selection batting average can become at least 30% more effective.

How can you add 30% effectiveness to your people selection processes - selection including hiring, transfer, promotion and team membership?

Here's how:

1 - Start by identifying a critical position that has been hard to fill - where turnover and failure to perform have been a problem. Or a critical position where fit with the existing organization is essential to success.

2 - Look for biases that have no bearing on the job that may have limited the applicant pool. I don't mean the mandated of race, sex, ethnicity, religion - those should have been dealt with long ago. I'm talking about ensuring your pool of applicants/candidates isn't being restricted by biases and assumptions and cultural differences that have no real basis from a organizational standpoint.

3 - Create the key accountabilities for the job using the key stakeholders. Prepare to be amazed at how different one key stakeholder sees them from another. Get agreement on the top three to five - even if that means having to really negotiate to agreement.This is key at the beginning of the process - agreement here will go a long way to ensuring the people involved in the selection are all on the same page. And the recruiting is targeted.

4 - Have the stakeholders identify the education, experience, industry experience, and other hard data elements. These are the quantifiable data points that every candidate must have for further consideration.

5 - Identify the behaviors, motivators and personal skills that have been successful in the job. Get them from the people who have been successful in the job, from the people with close contact and interdependence with the job, with the people who manage the job. If assessments of behaviors, attitudes and skills are currently being used, use the results of past assessments to help create the profile. If they are not in use, or the assessments in use don't lend themselves to this process, get ones that do.

6 - Have the stakeholders meet to review the findings and to use them to arrive at a profile of the ideal candidate and to prioritize must haves, want to haves and nice to haves. Use assessments to help the stakeholders in this vital step. The process is benchmarking- creating the benchmark against which all candidates will be measured. No more letting the candidate pool set the standards for success.

7 - With this information in hand, train and develop an interview team to use it in creating a coordinated interview process. And have the candidates that pass the education, experience and other hard data elements take the same assessments. Review the assessment reports of the candidates against the behavior, motivators and personal skills profile created by the stakeholders in the organization.

8 - Use what was learned in this first benchmarking project and apply it to other high value positions. The process has value at all levels - but it does take an investment of time and effort, and the early efforts should be directed at the highest potential gain positions.

Organizations that have followed this process have seen major improvements in selecting the right person for the right job. Organizations have seen their comfort level and support for newly selected people jump because there is a firm foundation for the selection decision. And the profile completed by the stakeholders provides the blueprint for development and success of the person selected. Success and retention rates have increased well beyond the 30% level in many organizations.

Examine your own process. See what tools you are currently using. Don't be satisfied measuring activity - when evaluating your current process measure results in the success of the selections. Don't confuse survival with success. It's a roadblock to increasing the level of excellence in the talent level of the organization. Real improvement comes with the right person in the right job. Use this process for your own success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www,coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Turn Negative Expectations Into Positive Outcomes

People keep disappointing me - they don't act as badly as I expect them to. I hate to admit it - but that happens all the time. It happens when I hide my negative expectations - and behave as if everything was going to be positive.

An example:

I was on a walk and a group of young men were headed toward me - late teens - four of them - walking shoulder to shoulder. There was not going to be enough space for me to stay on the sidewalk unless one of them gave way. My negative expectation was that they would make it difficult for me - it's happened before. As I got close to them, I smiled and said " How you doing?" They answered by asking me the same question. They also moved and gave me room to stay on the sidewalk.

I reflected on that little scenario, and was kind of ashamed that my expectation was that they would give me a hard time. But I felt good that - even though I didn't feel optimistic - I acted it. And the result was a pleasant exchange and we all went on our way.

How often do we let negative expectations cause negative behavior? How often do we let negative expectations create negative results? If you're like me, it's more often than I like to admit. And yet, when I work to overcome negative expectations and project positive behavior, I am pleasantly surprised. Things end up better than I expected.

What I've learned is to spend more time on positive behaviors, and less time trying to dwell on the reasons for negative expectations. How to do that?

The first step is awareness. After years of fine tuning our expectations based on our personal experience, the media, generalizations and a host of othet inputs, we act based on some really imbedded beliefs. The behaviors we adopt seem to happen so automatically we don't realize them. And those behaviors are the architects of our outcomes. Start building awareness by listening to yourself. Do you hear negative messages about how things will turn out - a sales prospect that won't buy, a proposal that will be rejected, an invitation extended but refused? If you do - and almost all of us do, you've got some expectation and behavior work to do.

Now that you've identified a negative expectation, it's time to create a positive behavior to overcome it. Look back at the sales call, the proposal, the invitation and see what could have been done to project a behavior that expressed a positive outcome. Perhaps that question that started "Would you like to-----?' could be stated differently. That proposal that apologized for the time it took to present it would have been better served with a statement of benefit. Perhaps that sales call that started with a thank you for your time could have started with a positive statement of value to the prospect. The point is to replace behavior based on negative expectations with behavior based on what we desire to be the outcome.

The next step is to learn from the result of the positive behavior - help the outcome challenge the beliefs and biases that led to the negative expectation in the first place. But don't try to over analyze where the expectation came from. Use the time to create and reinforce positive behaviors. Done often enough, the outcomes of the positive behaviors will change expectations. That's what's so great about having your actions lead your expectations.

Then do it again - and again. I guarantee positive results. I know a smile and an engaging question - "How are you doing?" work wonders with contacts. I learned it by forcing myself to use it - again and again. My expectation of people contacts has changed for the better - through my own positive actions. So will yours.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Five Ways To Gain Self-Knowledge - Key To Success

Accurate self knowledge is the key to successful relationships. Notice the use of accurate? Who you think you are and who others think you are is often very different. The closer our understanding of our own behaviors, attitudes and personal skills is to how others perceive us, the better our chances for success - in anything.

Most people agree with that statement. But most people never seek out anything other than affirmation of who they think they are. There can be no increase in self knowledge with that approach. Some people will tell you they really don't care what others think. In most cases, that's not true.

See if any of the following three profiles are familiar to you.

The first person works in real estate sales. She prides herself on being honest and straightforward with her potential clients. She tells it like it is. She feels she may lose some sales with that approach, but people who understand her will be impressed by her integrity and buy from her. She sells, but she loses a lot of sales. To many of the people she does not sell, she comes across as blunt, arrogant, unwilling to listen, and only interested in what she has to say. She was stunned when she found that out. She didn't accept that feedback. She continues to sell, works very hard, but will never rise above her current level of accomplishment until she accepts that what she sees in herself and what others see is very different, and keeps her from reaching her potential.

The second profile is of a former client who instantly takes charge of any situation he sees as calling for leadership. With imperfect knowledge but with total conviction of the rightness of his ways, he goes about solving the problems of others. He has done this so often with his company's clients that his sales people dread taking him on a sales call. He sees himself as possessing a caring, kind, sharing, concerned approach that is only meant to help people that are less capable than himself. He's been fired from top level jobs five times. He is truly a legend in his own mind - and not the least interested in self - knowledge. His termination record speaks for itself.

The third profile is of a client who is a true subject matter expert - someone people should seek out to get information. She takes pride in her knowledge, and is constantly working to expand it. She is quiet, self effacing, and was one of the most judgmental people you could ever meet. She constantly found fault with others who didn't measure up to her high standards. In fact, she didn't measure up to her own high standards. She saw herself as open, willing to listen and be helpful to whoever asked. Others saw her as cold, aloof, judgmental and patronizing. When she got feedback on how others saw her, she was first shocked, then chose to seek out information that would validate the feedback, or dismiss it. Now she works hard to be accessible and share without judgment. In fact, she's made the study of human behavior one of her passions. She's on the right track.

All three people share one thing - they all can benefit from a strong dose of accurate self - knowledge. Unfortunately, only one is open to gaining it. That's fairly typical. For the one willing to open herself to input, the rewards can be amazing. For the others, nothing much changes, and neither does their situation. Too bad.

Ann Landers wrote a piece of advice about self-knowledge: " Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." It's funny - but its true. If the only thing we are willing to accept as true is affirmation, we miss opportunities to gain in self-knowledge.

Here are five suggestions to help gain more accurate self - knowledge:

1 - Seek out feedback on situations. and be ready to not be defensive. Ask people you trust questions like " How could that situation have been dealt with differently?" " What would you suggest as a different approach?" "How would you have handled it?" The answers will contain clues to how you are perceived. Make sure not to try to defend what you did. That's a sure way to shut off meaningful feedback.

2 - Identify the "Universe" of people that you work with and /or associate with. They are key to helping gain self-knowledge. Participate in a 360 degree exercise with carefully selected members of your "Universe." These exercises can be valuable - dependent on the participants, the facilitator, and the situation. Look for a process that is highly developed - and insist on a one on one debrief with a skilled facilitator.

3 - Seek out assessments of Behaviors - what people observe; Attitudes and Values - what drives or creates behaviors; and Personal Skills - what you're good at and not so good at. The use of a third party allows space to discuss the results and focus on the assessments reports as a means of discussing what might otherwise be hard to deal with issues.

4 - Seek out new experiences and people. Once relationships are established, we tend to flex to meet the needs of where we are. Often, the result is that we adapt and lose sight of who we are - to ourselves and to others. New people, places and experiences provide a chance to try different ways, and gain more self - knowledge

5 - Realize that increased self-knowledge doesn't mean changing . It may result in a change in who we think we are, and then using that more accurate perception to develop success in ways we never dreamed of.

Accurate self - knowledge is a key to success. Gain as much as you can by being open to inputs that may seem like criticism. The seeds of self - knowledge are more often found there than in affirmation. Start today to learn more about the single most important person in the world to you - yourself.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Goal Setting - Six Steps To Keeping Focus

We ask every leader we work with what they would do more of, better, or more often when they look back on their career, and the top answer is "Focus." When asked how they would do that, they answer that they would be even more goal oriented than they had been. In their opinion, goals create focus that creates accomplishment. With so many demands intruding or attempting to intrude on their attention and energies, goals that create focus are their firewall, and their primary path to success.

Given that so many highly successful people look to goals for focus, why is it that so many organizations and people can't state their personal goals or the goals of their organization - let alone how their personal goals align with their organizational goals?

One reason given is time - "We don't have time for that - we're too busy. " Another reason (read excuse) given is the belief that an individual has no control over their future - too many things outside a person's control can cause things to change, so just go with the flow.

It turns out that most people spend more time focused on planning a two week vacation than they do planning their career. I suspect that's because planning a vacation is controllable, pleasant, and near term - it's easy to focus on it.

But to succeed and prosper, it's vitally important to have a personal set of goals. - they keep us in the game - whatever game is being played. And personal goals that closely align with organizational goals create a tremendous amount of energy, commitment and focus.

Personal goals are even more important when organizational goals don't exist, or aren't expressed, or exist in name only. It's very tempting in those cases to simply give in to the flow of the day to day, and go with whatever comes along - with little if any focus.

Goals help balance the very human tendency to be distracted by the pressing, in - your - face things that happen every day - it's called being "flexible." Flexibility can be a strength, but it can also be a weakness - when flexing becomes a habit and we look back and see that flexing took us far away from where we wanted to be or needed to be.

A friend shared a joke with me that illustrates that point - "Inside every 65 year old is a 40 year old wondering what the hell happened?"

Focus is the difference between wondering what the hell happened, and landing where you wanted to land. It's the difference between throwing a touchdown pass - or throwing a superball - and watching it bounce every which way - with high energy, but with no idea where it will land - and what good - or damage - it will do.

Here are six steps to create focus:

1 - Write down where you want to be in one month, six months, one year, three years and five years. I know, it sounds like a lot of work. It is. But I can tell you from personal experience that those time frames will blow right past you if you don't take the time to plan them now. And you'll end up like that 65 year old wondering what happened.

2 - Define how your source of income - your job - your profession - fits into your own goals. How do your work goals fit in with your personal goals? Are they the same? How can they come together in the near term to provide long term benefit? The closer your personal goals align with the goals of your organization or profession, the better your chances of accomplishing them. This is the key to focus - being convinced and directed to success through goals that embrace you personally and professionally.

3 - Start with short term goals, but with the end in mind. Weekly, monthly, quarterly. Define the top 3 to 5 things that you need to do now to get you to where you want to be. No more than 3 to 5 - and 5 is a stretch. Remember, you can only really focus on doing one thing at a time. There is no more powerful way to become discouraged than to "over goal" yourself at this stage.

4 - Express your goals in positive terms. Express your goals in terms of what you want to achieve as opposed to what you want to avoid or get rid of. Optimism loves positive outcomes - work to think in those terms.


5 - Define your goals using the SMART formula - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time - framed.

6 - Keep track. Hold yourself accountable. Review your goals at least weekly. Carry them with you wherever you go. Make them part of your thinking. Make a habit of reciting your goals and the outcomes of achieving them. Make them your way of life. And when they need to be revised - and that will happen often - just do it.

If you're feeling frustrated and busy and not sure where you're going, start this process today. It isn't easy. It requires personal discipline. It requires faith in yourself. But the rewards of a sense of purpose, focus and freedom are worth the effort. And when you look back in a few weeks to a few months, you'll be surprised at how far you've come, and making goals the cornerstone of focus will become a habit - a habit of success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Plenty For Everybody - Project Team Success Depends On It

Project team success depends on a number of variables, but the one that shows up as most important involves the willingness of team members to collaborate. And collaboration requires a belief that there is plenty for everybody. And it's tough to spot as the reason a highly qualified, highly resourced, experienced, interdisciplinary team just did not click.

A story to illustrate, followed by eight recommendations for project team selection and success.

A client asked me to work with a team that just didn't meet expectations. A critical project, lots of resources, clearly defined roles, clearly stated objectives, experienced people that could see the problem from many sides, more than enough time and money resources and top management visibility; this team had it all. And yet, output just didn't meet what was expected - the team members agreed expectations were high, but achievable.

So what was the problem? In many of these kinds of situations there are any number of factors that can lead to poor performance. But lack of collaboration and sharing is always at or near the top. In this case, it was the single over-arching reason for the lack of performance. In this team of six high achievers were two that had been highly successful as individual contributors, but had little experience - or interest - in working in a collaborative setting. Their input was critical to the team, but they were reluctant to provide much, unless they received credit and recognition for their individual contributions. The other four members of the team were used to sharing, had been successful at it, and assumed all team members shared that value. Wrong. These two highly successful individual contributors saw the others as competitors - competitors for credit, recognition, rewards.

They really didn't believe there was enough for everybody. And because of that belief, there wasn't. Every member of the team ended up keeping their cards and self interest close to their vests, and little information and sharing occurred. Little leverage.

It only takes one or two negatively competitive types on any team to really screw it up. That had happened with this team.

I'd like to report that the two "not enough for everybody's" were turned around.. They weren't. They were released from the team and replaced by two people with the ability to collaborate and share - and the team ended up meeting expectations.

The belief that there is plenty for everybody is the cornerstone to collaboration and sharing. With the belief that there is plenty for everybody, there will be! Without it, there never can be enough. It's the difference between a glass half full or half empty. It's the difference between optimism and pessimism. It's the difference between sharing and hoarding.

So what to look for in project team members to ensure that collaboration and open communication will occur?

1 - It goes without saying that experience, education, industry experience, technical skills, are all critical - I don't care how collaborative and sharing someone may be - or how much they may believe there is plenty for everybody - if they aren't perceived as bringing "chops' to the table, they can't contribute, and the seeds of discontent may be sowed among the other members.

2 - Look for people who are successful and collaborative not only in their work, but outside their work as well. Collaboration skills can be learned, but instinctive collaboration and sharing provide a huge head start. There is no better way to build collaboration skills than to work on volunteer committees, boards, church groups, non profit organizations.

3 - Remember there is no "I" in "We." Look for how accomplishments sre described. Does the person refer only to themself, or are they generous in their recognition of the contributions of others.

4 - In describing accomplishments, spend time getting to the need for sharing and collaboration in their accomplishment. Are they aware of the contribution of others. Do they seek out individual contributor roles or roles requiring group skills and abilities?

5 - Get an example of when they were a good follower - what does that mean to them? How did they perceive their own performance in supporting roles to others? Have they demonstrated the willingness and ability to follow someone else, and be supportive?

6 - Look for people who participate in collaborative and team sports or activities - where the group is dependent upon each othet for success. This does not mean golfers and tennis players and skiers don't make good collaborative teammates, but basketball, football, baseball and softball team membership provide more chances for supportive and sharing behavior.

7 - Look for "givers" - people who contribute without calculation of immediate reward. An example of this quality is the mentor who gives to others without expecting promotion, publicity or a raise in pay.

8 - And once the selections for the team are made, institute a group recognition and reward structure - give the team credit and recognition. Picking out team members for special recognition is OK if something unique happens, but too much of that behavior can breed competition in the team - and that kind of competition reduces sharing and collaboration.

Look at your own beliefs and the beliefs of your organizations. If you see "me" behaviors - and you will, work to establish the belief that there is plenty for everybody.

Written by Andy Cox, President

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Eight Times When Good Enough Beats Perfect

When does Good Enough beat Perfect? When Good Enough clears space for action and accomplishment - for moving forward.

Perfect, on the other hand, almost always gets in the way of action and accomplishment - it keeps real progress from being made. Waiting for perfect is a sure recipe for failure.

Let me define what I mean by Good Enough. To a lot of people the phrase "good enough" is more criticism than praise - it implies just "getting by" - or that you could have done better. To me Good Enough means a commitment was kept, a solution that met a need was developed, an action was taken that met a goal. It means that recognition was made of the difference between the critical, the necessary and the trivial. It means a level of action leading to a solution was taken that met the situation - and time, energy and money weren't wasted trying to make the solution better than it needed to be.


I have a good friend who is in a constant battle with Good Enough. Every single thing that comes across her desk has to be handled as if it is the most important thing in the world. She is in constant conflict with much of what needs to be done - and has a real problem getting the very important done first. She strives for perfection in everything she does - and it's causing her real problems. She's a truly excellent person - the only person who doesn't think so is her.


I suspect that the greatest authors, the greatest artists, the greatest composers, the greatest software developers, the greatest salespeople can look back at their achievements and see room for improvement. At some point they all said to themselves " Good Enough." Had they waited for that final stroke of genius - that perfection - their work would never be treasured by so many. That's what perfect does - it keeps real genius under wraps.

How often have you worked hard on something - given it your all - and ended up judging your actions with a vague sense of disappointment when your result was judged - by yourself or by others - as "good enough." You're left feeling "damned with faint praise." But, in truth, your work - your actions - are something to be proud of. You acted, you took risk, you improved - and the next time you'll be even better. Think of the best hitter in baseball. On average, he only gets a hit every three times up to the plate. The other two times could be seen as failures, but the top hitters know those at bats - those imperfect at bats - are the only way to the hits.

Here are eight times when "Good Enough" will beat perfect:

1 - When Good Enough results in action being taken. Without action there can be no accomplishment. More people have failed while striving for the perfect solution - and missing the opportunity that is taken by the less perfect, but "Good Enough."

2 - When Good Enough results in taking the next step. The next step - be it the follow up sales call, the next experiment after a failure, the next presentation after a poorly received one - although that next step isn't perfect -results in being one step closer to success.

3 - When Good Enough defeats fear, resistance and procrastination. Good Enough can liberate - it can reduce the fear and resistance level - it provides that little boost to go beyond. Perfect creates fear.

4 - When Good Enough overcomes those two deeply imbedded beliefs we all share - " I am not able" and "I am not worthy." Nothing holds people back more than their own belief that they aren't worthy or aren't able. Nothing can get them past those beliefs more than promising to do the best they can - Good Enough - and finding out they far exceeded their own fears and expectations.

5 - When good enough creates a "ready, fire, aim habit of thought" - the first step to continuous improvement. Liberate resistance by understanding that success is a journey - every step on the journey is a learning experience - every step is evaluated on the basis of what was learned, and how much closer it brought success.

6 - When Good Enough separates the important few from the trivial many. Setting priorities - and separating the need for absolute maximum effort and expertise from the clutter of the less important - leads to more time for the really neat stuff that creates real success.

7 - When Good Enough keeps us raising our own personal bar. Raising the bar requires first finding where the bar is right now. Good Enough helps establish where the bar is - the first step to raising it - to continuous improvement.

8- When Good Enough meets our goals - SMART goals. Goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time framed. There is no room for P - Perfect - in that equation.


The next time you're tempted to think in terms of the perfect solution, remember that Good Enough puts you on the road to success. Use the Good Enough habit of thought to accomplish more, succeed more, and travel further down the road on the journey to continuous improvement.

Written by Andy Cox, President

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How To Increase Your Personal Value

Your personal value is the most important value you can create. Unfortunately, 7 out of 10 people in the US underestimate their personal value. It's easy to do - without even knowing it. It shows up in invisible ways - in risks not taken, jobs not applied for, opportunities not identified, relationships that never occur. It shows up in negative self talk - like "I could never do that!" or "I'm just a ------."



There are so many messages given since childhood : "don't bite off more than you can chew, " be careful," " don't stick your neck out," " only speak when you're spoken to," " know your place," "don't work too hard." "the more you do the more will be expected of you," what makes you think you're so special?" "don't be stupid." After years of being bombarded by those limiting messages, it's not hard to understand why so many of us undervalue our abilities and our worthiness.



One of the other effects of all those messages can be to let others create our value. If the highest order of our personal goals is to please and satisfy others - to respond to those messages - we can never place the real value we should on ourselves.



Having a limited view of our personal value can be a good thing - if it makes us strive harder to achieve. And for many it does - many of the top leaders and most successful people use their feelings of "not quite good enough" as a way to motivate themselves to show just what they can do. Unfortunately, for many, this same feeling of "not quite good enough" results in not taking risks, not reaching out for opportunities. The result is that personal value stagnates - and being "not quite good enough" becomes a way of life - a firmly embedded belief.



So how can we increase our personal value - in our work, our family, our relationships? Here are methods, tools and beliefs we all can use to better understand and increase our personal value:



Start with this exercise:

Write down all the successes and challenges you have met and overcome. If you're not used to thinking in terms of your own successes, or if your beliefs have been shaped to where you question your own worthiness or ability this may take some time. Write down as much as you can, and keep coming back to it. This is strictly a personal exercise, and is not the place for humility. Begin to notice what happens when you write down positive successes in your life. A lot of today's challenges and opportunities start to look a lot more doable when compared with what you have already accomplished - and there are so many more accomplishments and successes than you realized! Your energy picks up as you begin to realize just how much value you have created.

Create goals for the important things. It's amazing just how many really important accomplishments and successes are never really identified because people didn't take the time to define define them - in writing. Make goal setting a habit.

Start a Success Diary. Force yourself to write down all the things that went right - that you accomplished on a daily basis. Become positively accountable to yourself. Writing down what you did well becomes something you look forward to doing every day. And the more you do it - the more you want to do it.

Replace perfect with good. Nothing limits a sense of personal value more than having the belief that only perfect is good enough.. That belief creates an impossible barrier to accomplishment. Nothing's perfect - striving to do better is what motivates.

Be realistic, but stretch that realism to set the course for accomplishment. Tell yourself "This is a stretch, but it's what I want to do, and I'm going to go for it!" The only way to add value is to reach beyond where we are right now - and that requires a level of risk. Risk and increasing value go together.

Realize the most common assumption people make that keeps them from realizing their true value is the assumption that many other people share the same skills, abilities, experiences, beliefs, attitudes and personal skills that they do. Nothing could be further from the truth. Creating our own value requires the belief that we are truly unique - we are, you know.

Realize that we all feel fear, we all get nervous, we all are insecure in our ability to overcome problems and create solutions. A saying I read years ago said " Be kind to your fellow man - we all have our private hells to deal with." Knowing that even the most self assured, attractive, apparently successful people share fear as an emotion, and have their own baggage of doubts, can help us overcome our own.

Many of us tend to undervalue our accomplishments and experience and put ourselves in small niches. Realize how valuable and broad your accomplishments really are! Good examples are men and women coming out of the military – great experience – but many see themselves as much more limited than they really are. Realize that behaviors, attitudes and personal skills are transferable - and represent the greatest opportunities for success in any job.

Take an inventory of all the value added actions that exist around what you do. Example - A young manager volunteered to take on a one time project for his employer. He was named Project Manager - in addition to everything else he had to do. He discovered project management skills - that he had in abundance - were scarce. He always assumed that others had what he had - a bad assumption. He ended up taking his skills and putting them to work in a business where project management was a core competency. He prospered.

Realize that fears and doubts and negative issues will not go away - they reappear every day. They are one of the engines of accomplishment. Facing them and dealing with them - and in many cases succeeding - and in others failing, but continuing to persist, adds value.

Start today on your journey of discovery of your personal value. Start with the exercise of writing down all the things you have accomplished, succeeded in and overcome in your life. Be prepared to be amazed at yourself.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How To Gain Optimism Through Accomplishment

Nothing creates a greater sense of optimism than accomplishment. And optimism is one of the core beliefs and attitudes of successful people. It's estimated that only 30 percent of our population are optimists, but that the majority of successful people are optimists. That estimate says that the better chance of accomplishment and success lies with the optimists.

Ask yourself these questions: When you entered into a commitment with a sense of enthusiasm and conviction, what were your accomplishments? When you entered into a commitment with hesitation, with a sense that it wouldn't work out well, what did you accomplish? Then ask yourself which of these two approaches you follow most often.

If your response was hesitation and the possibility of failure, chances are that you're missing opportunities to succeed - and accomplishment is the only real security any of us have. Read on to find ways to strengthen your ability to seek out and accomplish more in your life - in every part of it.

If your response was enthusiasm and conviction, read on for ways you can share those attitudes and beliefs with the people around you.

Here are nine recommendations:

One -Accomplishment requires putting yourself in your discomfort zone - a place where you're not secure, where you have to learn and challenge yourself. The comfort zone is the danger zone - much more dangerous than taking risk. Staying in the comfort zone keeps people from ever knowing their real abilities and worth.

Two -Accomplishment comes in many forms. It can range from a small triumph to a huge one, but what's important is that the person doing the accomplishing sees it for what it is.

Three - View situations as opportunities first. This is a real challenge for people used to thinking in terms of negative consequences. But if your first thoughts are negative, the chances of passing on real opportunity are very high. Sometimes the best thing to do with those opportunities you grabbed is to drop them - but if you don't act in the now to get them, you don't have a choice - they're gone.

Four - Accomplishment likes action - action now. Accomplishment likes ownership - standing up and taking responsibility for a situation.

Five - Be able to see your accomplishments when they happen. This might seem like a no - brainer - it isn't. For many people. their accomplishments are taken for granted - by them. They don't see their unique abilities and strengths as anything special, and so what could have been a positive reinforcement of their own personal worth and ability, goes unnoticed - by them and by others.

Six - Create goals in order to define accomplishment. State them positively - in terms of gain. Create your own personal goal culture and communicate your goals to others.

Seven - Realize that fear and doubt are as normal as breathing - they won't go away - they will be with you everyday. Enlist fear and doubt as allies. The ability to wake up every morning, deal with fear of failure, and move forward is a quality of successful people. For more on this, read Steven Pressfield's excellent book, The War Of Art.

Eight - Understand everyone else, regardless how self assured they appear, has the same doubts and concerns that you have. Know that what you are going through on the path to accomplishment is shared by others. Know you're not alone in these emotions, but are part of what successful people experience every day.

Nine - See yourself as worthy of the rewards of your efforts. See your accomplishments for what they are - an affirmation of your ability to achieve. Make those subconscious two beliefs that almost all of us share - that we are not worthy; that we are not able - shrink to nothing through personal action and accomplishment

Start today - grab ahold of some situation, project, challenge, and make it your own. Then make it happen. The possibilities are endless. But the one guaranteed outcome will be a more positive feeling about yourself earned through achievement- and isn't that a huge part of optimism?

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Increase Success In Evaluating People

How do you increase your success in evaluating people? Education, technical skills, experience and industry knowledge can be defined and verified. But most people don't succeed or fail because of those elements of who they are. Most people succeed or fail based on how well their mix of values, attitudes, behaviors and personal skills fit the situation. And the higher one goes in an organization, the truer that becomes. How to get at that information when evaluating people for selection, promotion, team involvement and personal and organizational development?

Experts and successful leaders all share a little known fact about human behavior, and use it in evaluating people. They know that every one of us believes other people will act, react, understand and judge as we would - given the same circumstances. That is not a correct belief - but it is a belief.

Professionals use that information to gain insights into what people really believe, how they will behave, and what personal skills they value. Being able to do that is a secret to success in selection, relationships and leadership.

How do you do that?

Example: With a candidate, ask them to provide a situation where something was done - preferably work related. Then ask him/her the who, what, when, where and why questions about the situation and how it played out. Here's the secret: rather than ask them about their role, ask them about the roles, actions. motives, values of others involved in the situation. Be ready to gain insights and information about the candidate as he/she reflects on the attitudes, motives, behaviors and skills of others. The key is that we all tend to think that others act, judge, assume and possess many of the same skills as we do. By asking about a third person you do the following:

- People tend to be freer in providing their opinions, assumptions and judgments when it is directed at someone other than themselves.

- By speculating on the motives, judgment and behaviors of others, the candidates are telling a great deal about themselves. And if they won't speculate, they're still telling a lot about themselves.

A story to illustrate how this technique can be used:

A company undergoing substantial change in its behavior toward its employees, as a result of a crisis, was attempting to hire a Chief Operating Officer who would be critical to the success of the behavior change. One of the principal concerns of the new CEO was that the person hired would reflect the behaviors and beliefs that would be critical to the change. Old habits and values die hard, and the organization had a lot of very valuable, experienced people who had prospered in a very authoritarian, compliance, do what you're told to do, micro-managed culture. The culture envisioned by the CEO was very different. Open communication, trust, people as our biggest asset, less stove pipes, more cross functional teams, encourage innovation, high leverage,of talent were all part of his vision.

As the CEO interviewed each of the top candidates for the position, they all agreed with his vision. All were able to provide examples of how they had either built or maintained that kind of culture in their past jobs. All agreed the vision of culture the CEO had was the way to go. Personal chemistry was good with all the top candidates. Their references were excellent. How to pick this critical person to lead change?

The CEO decided one last round of in depth one on one interviews was in order. The focus of the interviews would be on better understanding the candidates own behaviors, attitudes and personal skills. And he would do that by engaging them in conversations about the behaviors, skills and attitudes of other key people the candidates had worked with.

Key questions he asked each candidate included:

Why do you think that person made that decision?
What do you think motivated them to make that decision?
What do you think that decision was based on?
What would you do if you had been in their shoes?
How do you think he/she should have handled it?
Were they successful in that situation? What made them successful?
What kept them from success?
How did the people affected by the situation handle it?
Who was to blame for the situation? Who got the credit/recognition?

The CEO was looking for attitudes, values, behaviors and acknowledgment of personal skills that he felt were critical to the culture change process. By having the candidates evaluate the behaviors, values, and personal skills of others he was able to better understand the candidates own unique mix of values, behaviors and skills. What came out of that last round of interviews helped him make what is always - after all the dust has settled - an intuitive decision. But an intuitive decision based on a much greater understanding than by simply evaluating candidate responses to questions about themselves.

Can this approach be applied at other levels in an organization? Of course.

If you are using assessments to evaluate people for selection, check to see if they provide you with these kinds of insights. If they don't - or if they are too complex to be applied in the real world, look for assessments that can help. They exist, I can assure you.

In addition to assessments, hiring managers and their support people can develop the expertise to make this approach a key part of their selection and development process. People have beliefs that come out in their perception of the behavior of others. A good example is the high control micro manager. There is a very good chance that a high control person has a value that places low trust on others, and that person assumes others feel the same way. Interviews can peel away the responses that the candidate feels are expected, and get at their beliefs - the belief they express through their opinion of others.

Another example is the person who uses blame in a response to a question about others - either to defend or to place fault. You can bet that person will be a blamer, regardless how they may portray their own behavior in an interview.

It's important to get the candidate to tell you about themselves, but it is equally valuable to get them to tell you about their evaluation of others - it tells you so much about them. Use this key to increase your success in dealing with people in all kinds of situations.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com, Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Personal Importance - Your Success Depends On It

One thing I've noticed about all the successful people I've met - they all are convinced of the importance of what they do and of their own personal importance. I don't mean in an egotistical, arrogant way, but in a way best expressed as quiet confidence. And many of them didn't start that way - they had to develop the habits of thought that allowed them to believe in their own worthiness and ability. It's not easy, but it is critical to personal success.

I've also noticed how many people, by their own actions, communicate their feeling of unimportance. They do it in little ways - deferring to someone else when they had a perfect right to stand their ground; when they apologize or minimize their own contribution; when they don't speak up even though they have a lot to say; when they fail to express their successes.

When we were kids, I remember being told to "not talk unless talked to," that I was to "be seen and not heard," that talking about myself was boastful, that it was "better to keep my mouth shut and appear dumb, than to open it and remove all doubt." I'm sure many of you have your own list of negative messages that were part of your life.

When those message soak in and become beliefs - and they do - it's tough to not feel that others must be better or more able or more worthy.

Think about your own self talk. What does it tell you about yourself - does it help you feel more worthy and able, or does it keep repeating those messages of your earlier years?

You’d be surprised how many people - when they really think about this, say they still hear their own "be seen and not heard" messages.

The story is told of the three stone masons - all working on the same job. When asked what he was doing, the first said he was cutting and laying stone. The second said he was building a school, and the third one said he was helping build a place of learning for children, and he wanted it to be the best built school he could manage. I suspect you know who felt important in contributing to this place of learning, and who was just laying stone. Same skills, same assignment, same project, probably the same work effort, but what a personal difference. The third mason will visit that school, point with pride to the contributions he made, tell his own children about it, and keep it as a personal point of pride and ability for the rest of his years. Don't we all want that kind of feeling about our work, our passions, our families?

To get that feeling one thing is certain - no one else can do it for us. We can be stone mason #1 and work and collect our pay, or we can be stone mason #3, and collect our pay and so much more. But only we can do it for ourselves.

People that have a feeling of self worth and those who are challenged to gain a greater sense of their own worth, look at the inputs and communications they receive in a very different way from people who don't have a good feeling about their worth and ability. Why? Because we all look for the things that confirm what our mind already believes or wants to believe! So the person with a positive self worth will hear an affirmation, the person working on getting a better sense will hear a constructive comment, and the person with a poor self worth will find a criticism or suspicion that they are being manipulated, or a reason to dismiss the compliment as so much BS. Same comment, same situation, three very different effects.

If you want to improve your own sense of self worth, what can you do?

1 - Stop looking back - what happened up to this point got you to where you are. Dwelling on it to find root causes just eats up today - which is all there is.

2 - Become very aware of what you tell yourself .

3 - Suspend judgment and just take what happens or is communicated for what it is - and no more.

4 - Start replacing damaging self talk with positive affirmations. Start by constantly reminding yourself of what you do well.

5 - Work with your strengths - the ones you feel good about - and be convinced you have more than you know - because I guarantee you do.

6 - Understand that you are unique - no one else on this earth is just like you - don't assume others can do what you do well - because they can't.

7 - Avoid the circumstances and events and people that would drag you back into where you no longer want to be.

8 - Identify how you want to make a difference - and go for it.

9 - Associate with successful people - and be amazed to find out they have their own challenges - just like you.

10 - Read biographies of great people - people that have overcome adversity to succeed. You will be amazed how their stories can affect and motivate you.

11 - Help someone else succeed - nothing helps you feel better about yourself than helping another person.

As you implement these steps, you're going to feel a real growing sense of your own importance, and your ability to get things done - in every part of your life. And as you gain a sense of your own worthiness and ability, it becomes more difficult for others to negatively influence you, and as you gain that better feeling about yourself, you will see so many more possibilities than you ever felt existed.

Start today!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Fail Often To Succeed - Says Who?

I don't know who started it, but the idea that you must fail in order to succeed didn't do anyone any favors. Unfortunately, it's become a firmly imbedded belief in the hearts and minds of millions.

We hear the Babe Ruth stories about how many more strikeouts he had than home runs; Michael Jordan, and the many times he missed a critical shot; every successful salesman that has heard "No" so much more often than he has heard "Yes." Out of that comes a message that we have to fail often to succeed once. But I suspect, if you were to ask Michael Jordan, or Babe Ruth, or a top salesperson, they would all tell you they went into the batter's box, or the game, or the sale, fully expecting to succeed - to win the game, hit a home run, make the sale - every time. They didn't start from the belief that they had to fail often to succeed once.

It's a bad message - it's not true. It's one that has kept expectations down for generations of strivers, in almost every kind of life's work. Think about it - your first day on the job, and you're told to be patient, you need to pay your dues, you have to fail often to succeed once - just keep plugging away. Not too inspiring.

How about beliefs that say stay in play; persist; good things will happen to you - expect them as a result of your hard work and persistence. Believe the next sale is right around the corner. Believe you learn from every action, and apply all that growing and learning to the next opportunity. Believe failure only happens when you quit - or when you don't reach your own goals.

Studies have shown that sales trainees learning from successful salespeople with an optimistic approach achieve substantially higher sales performance faster than trainees taught by the gotta pay your dues, expect a long period of preparation, fail to succeed messages given that have held back so many people.

Which message would you want to receive - a message of possibilities, or a message that says you're going to fail often, so get used to it?

Who's to say, on that very first sales call, the new salesperson meets someone who just has to have what they are selling, and despite the lack of experience and knowledge, they connect. Is that possible? Sure it is. It happens all the time - but only to those who deal in possibilities.

This sounds like splitting hairs - it isn't. Success in any endeavor is separated from lack of success by little things. And how each possibility is approached is just a little bit different for the successful and the not so successful. One looks at it as a opportunity - I can win; the other looks at it as a jeopardy - I could lose.

The other thing that a "fail often to succeed once" message can send is that you are not worthy of success, that you are not able to achieve success. While those worms aren't true - I've never met anyone not worthy of success, and only a few people not able to achieve success, they do exist in all of us - to some degree. If you provide the fuel of "fail often to succeed once" to these two worms, your own belief in your ability and worthiness are reduced. Provide the optimistic fuel of possibilities and watch your personal beliefs and success grow.

When things are tough - and they will be tough, from time to time, the only thing that can sustain you is your own sense of possibilities, and your own sense of your worth and ability.

Listen to your own self talk. Is every at bat, every shot, every sales call an opportunity to succeed? Or is it a chance to fail? If you're looking at things pessimistically, work on the belief that the next ball gets hit out of the ballpark - the next shot wins the game, the next call has sale written all over it. Start giving yourself those positive messages and see your success grow - I guarantee it.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Intuition - Make Yours A Powerful Tool

Intuition can be your best resource. Talk to most successful people and they will tell you it is what leads them to their decisions. Good thing, since most decisions are made with incomplete knowledge and the often conflicting opinions of others. Coming up with a good decision under those circumstances is one of the most valuable and sought after attributes in a leader.

Intuition is really the skill of assembling - over time - as much usable information from as many sources as possible and then interpreting and arriving at a decision – sometimes this process is very complicated, sometimes it isn’t.

Intuition can be a two edged sword. It can work, or it can fail. Think of the selection of people. How often have you seen people hired strictly on intuition – and then fail? How often have you seen the most scientific of selection processes fail to pick the best candidate – the right person for the right job? No wonder some leaders still use the “throw them up against the wall and see if they stick” method of selection. Might as well, they think, doesn’t seem anything else works much better.

The more open you are to challenges to your beliefs, the more powerful and effective your intuition becomes - and the more you trust it. Think about it – are your beliefs stuck in a rut, where you look for things that confirm your existing beliefs, or are you constantly challenging your beliefs, knowing that they are the results of your perceptions of events, and not necessarily the truth.

Too many challenges to your beliefs and you lose that decision making skill (the "bring me more information" syndrome), and too little challenge leads to the same decisions being made on the same set of beliefs, without regard for changing circumstances. It’s a balancing act – and successful people know that.

Ask top leaders if their intuitive skill has grown over the last five years and they will answer yes - in every case. The added experience of the last five years has allowed them to change and modify certain beliefs, and in doing so they have added even more power to their intuition. Ask less successful people the same question and the answers are varied: some feel they have used their experience to grow, others are locked in tight to their beliefs, and aren’t likely to budge – even if the results of their decisions indicate a different direction should be considered.

Your intuitive skill is the direct result of all the inputs you have received and how you interpret and perceive those inputs. To keep this powerful tool growing requires a dedication to openness, challenging your own beliefs, seeking out opportunities to grow and accomplish and a willingness to modify or change beliefs and behaviors and attitudes.

Fire up your own journey of discovery with a new author, a new social group, a new skill building seminar, a new perspective on your faith, an inventory of your beliefs. The more you do that, the more your ability to make effective decisions and take appropriate actions will grow. You may not even recognize your intuitive growth - but the people that count in your life will. I guarantee it.

Start today.

Written by Andy Cox President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

The Positive Power of Music

I was was totally focused on tying a new flyfishing pattern yesterday - concentrating on getting it right.

A tune came on the radio, and, bang, just like that, I was back in Kansas City in the 60's. Driving to work on a cold rainy day in February. 5 AM - going to open the labor office for temp day laborers that was part of my Manpower Inc branch. Not looking forward to it. Life hadn't been very good for a while. My wife had been sick for a long time - in and out of hospitals. The Manpower Inc branch was stuck in low gear. I was opening the labor office because the third manager I had hired in the last year hadn't worked out - so there I was - looking forward to another 14 hour work day followed by making dinner, getting our little girls to bed, doing the laundry ---.

Then this tune came on the radio - Ray Stevens singing "Everything Is Beautiful, In Its Own Way." And suddenly everything looked a little bit brighter - a little bit more optimistic - a little more hope in my life. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. I smiled and felt a real surge of positiveness and energy and those words - "Everything is beautiful in its own way", became a sort of mantra for me. From then on, when things got tough - or tougher - I would think of that song and it helped me endure, survive, hang in there and celebrate life. Those words reminded me that there is beauty in everyone and everything - and to look for it. Wow!!

Life got better. My wife got better, our girls grew up and are beautiful, successful women with families of their own. But that special song remains as powerful a message to me now as it was then. It always will. Thanks, Ray Stevens - for your particular genius.

Do you ever notice how a song you haven't heard for years, can, as soon as you hear the first few notes, take you to a place, and have you singing the lyrics as if it were just yesterday when it was popular? I marvel at our ability to keep those special tunes in special places and bring them out with the tiniest of promptings. To me that speaks to the power of music, but more to our own power - our power to take a message, accept it, make it our own, and have it with us the rest of our lives.

I keep looking for those messages of optimism and hope, and those messages that take me back and remind me how far I've come in life. I hope you do that too. Life's a journey - so many little experiences that can have huge possibilities for us - listen for them.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Career Suicide - Proclaim Yourself a Victim

In a meeting of managers discussing a number of issues, one of the managers made the statement - a number of times, that " No one ever told him anything." This came as a surprise to the other managers - they thought he was actually one of the really plugged - in people. After he made himself a victim - by his own words - his influence and leverage disappeared. Who would want to seek out a person who was told nothing - and , by inference, knew nothing? Funny thing - he was one of most plugged in people in a really secretive organization. He had more intel than most - but that changed. And all because he gave himself up.

Have you ever known people that have done the same thing? Have you ever been guilty of it yourself?

It's the quickest way to career suicide in any job. And the person who commits this self inflicted wound is just looking to complain a little and get a little sympathy and understanding from all the kind people they work with. Huge mistake. It's almost impossible to feel any real sympathy or empathy for a self proclaimed victim. There are too many real victims who are working hard to redeem and survive and grow and prosper to feel any kind of regard for those "woe is me" types.

I don't mean to imply that you should act as if you have all the answers and are plugged in to everything that goes on in your workplace - that approach creates it's own problems. But complaining without a constructive goal is a really unattractive behavior - and people, particularly bosses, avoid that behavior like the plague.

So the next time you're tempted to reach for your crying towel and complain - stop. Remind yourself that shooting yourself in the foot is very painful. Then remind yourself that in every complaint is the seed for a constructive thought or comment or, even better, action. Then go in the direction of providing solutions - the upside to that behavior is so positive, and the downside? Well, there is no downside. Start today - now.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

There's Plenty For Everybody - Believe it

Can you remember a time when you were really proud of what you had accomplished, and when you told a friend you got a less than enthusiastic response. - perhaps even an envious response.

I remember when my wife and I bought our first new car - a convertible - and our next door neighbor's first comment was " Well, at least our car's paid for." Nice. Scratch them from the list of friends. Envy or jealousy are really ugly behaviors - they so diminish the person guilty of them.

Stephen Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People talks about an "attitude of plenty." About believing that there is plenty of everything for everybody, and the success of another in no way diminishes us. Stephan Schiffman, in his terrific book on telephone sales, titled Make It Happen Before Lunch says" Dwell in possibility - there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened."

If you think like Schiffman and Covey, there will be no room for the envy and jealousy that makes so many people smaller in the eyes of others - and most importantly, in their own eyes.

What's sad about the people who don't have the beliefs of plenty and possibilities, is that they believe everyone else thinks like they do. So when they do have a success, they find it difficult to accept the congratulations of others at face value, because they know, if the roles were reversed, they would harbor envy and jealousy.

Whether it's possessions, promotions, winning at a sport, or some other area of accomplishment, feel good for the success of others. Use it to inspire yourself to achieve. And if you catch yourself thinking in terms of being diminished by the success of others, tell yourself there's plenty for everybody - then go out and get some. Do it - today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved

Negative Expectations - Beliefs That Keep Us From Asking For What We Want

Somewhere along the way many of us developed negative beliefs about asking for what we want. Perhaps we believe that asking is a sign of personal weakness. Perhaps a sign of dependency. Perhaps we don't feel we are worthy of asking. Perhaps we feel that people that ask for things are imposing, and since we feel that way, others must feel the same way.

Many of these limiting beliefs - and they are limiting - result in our believing that to ask is to set ourselves up for refusal - failure - embarrassment - loss of self respect and esteem. And so we only ask if and when we have no other choices left. And often we are disappointed, because in asking we start with negative expectations - that we will fail - be refused - and that is exactly what we get. Have you ever heard the saying " You get what you believe you will get'? If we're thinking failure, we will get it - and in getting it we reinforce the negative expectations of asking.

So what do we do with this giant anchor fashioned from our own thoughts? An anchor that keeps success at arm's length - too far away to really reach, but close enough to feel it is in our grasp - if only ----.

What if we could put aside these negative expectations about asking - for just a day? How liberating would it be to think that upon making that phone call asking to see someone, it turns out they are not just willing, but happy that you called, and want to see you as much as you want to see them. A dream? Perhaps. But is it any less of a dream than the dream of refusal - of rudeness - of "No"? And isn't a positive expectation so much more fun - more energizing - more able to lift us up and keep us going?

How do we create these positive beliefs? We start by listening to what we tell ourselves every day. And fight back every time we hear ourselves telling us to slow down, to protect ourselves from disappointment, to criticize our preparation. Our minds can be changed - we can believe in positive outcomes. It starts by telling ourselves that positive outcomes will happen to us - the possibilities of success are at least as great as the negative thoughts we have had in the past.

Start today - start with the next negative outcome that your mind creates for you - realize it is no truer than the opposite, positive outcome. Then let your actions be guided by opportunity - it is so much fun - and energizing, and driven toward success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032, Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006. All rights reserved

Success Starts With Feeling Important

I was talking to a beautiful, bright artist acquaintance who is an attorney. I asked her what had made her choose the law. Her answer was that she wanted to be important and do something important with her life.

I guess it hadn’t occurred to me that wanting to be important or wanting to do important things could be a focus of career selection – but the more I talk to people it becomes apparent that personal importance and importance to their enterprise are critical factors in success – from both an individual and an enterprise standpoint.

Research has shown three things that we all want in our work; to feel we are part of a worthy enterprise; to contribute to the success of the enterprise; and to be recognized for our contribution. Take any one away and the bond is broken – take away two or three and serious trouble occurs – in turnover, sabotage, theft, dishonesty in many forms, poor customer service, poor sales support.

Our feelings and beliefs about our individual importance are critical to our success regardless how the world may view us. Without a feeling of our own uniqueness and value, it is very hard to succeed – there are too many signals coming in that can jar us and cause us to “give up” and seek our importance from the group – at the expense of how we feel personally.

Have you ever noticed how some people just plunge forward with their work – won’t take no for an answer, and, while they may leave some bodies bleeding in their wake, they get recognized and rewarded. I suggest they have a very strong conviction that what they are doing is absolutely critical to their enterprise. They are the “go to” people in every organization. They are the ten percenters every organization wants and values and works hard to keep. These people are convinced of the importance of their work, they are convinced of their personal importance, and they expect to be recognized and rewarded.

In the middle are the solid players – the people who follow process – the team players who are conscientious, want to succeed – who are willing to put in the effort to get things done right and on time. These are the majority of any organization. They also represent the best opportunity, or the biggest jeopardy, to the enterprise. Their feelings of importance are tied closely to the beliefs of working for a worthy enterprise, being recognized and rewarded, and being able to see their contribution.

Then there are the people who are rarely asked to step up – who are assigned to projects with an understanding that they have to be watched closely. These are the ten percent people that Jack Welsh targeted while at GE. They believe their performance is conditional on how well the organization treats them – the old “ pay me more and I will do more”. Their “employment contract” is conditioned upon things outside themselves being the drivers of their performance. You cannot be successful with this set of beliefs.

Assess where you are in terms of your own importance and your importance to your organization. If you don’t like what you see, start with your own sense of the importance of what you do. Every job in every organization is important. Be convinced of that – then act on that belief and watch your performance, rewards and recognition increase!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032

Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail:andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

Your Worst Enemy - Your Best Friend

I’m my worst enemy – I’m my best friend. Let me explain.

I have developed a series of beliefs in my mind that guide my behavior and my feelings and emotions. Those beliefs are based on a lot of things – experience, teaching, emotions, conditioning, – the one thing they are not based on is the truth. They are all mine -my beliefs – regardless how far from the truth they may be.

An example – I have always thought I have skinny arms. My forearms are 14” and my biceps are 15” – not huge, but not skinny. And yet, to me they are not nearly large enough. I feel like I am a small man – but I am 5’10” tall and weigh 190 pounds. Not huge, but not small. What creates my beliefs of being a small person with skinny arms? I’ll bet you have some of the same beliefs – neck too long, legs too short, butt too big, butt not big enough, 12 pack hiding a six pack , too skinny, too fat -----.

Most of these kinds of personal beliefs are harmless – but others can make or break our success in life. Peter Senge in his book The Fifth Discipline talks about the two beliefs most of us have in some measure that affect our ability to perform. These beliefs – I call them worms because they can be so imbedded in our mind – can lead to failure in our lives. And yet, the worms are not the truth. The two beliefs/worms that are so critical are: “I am not able”, and “I am not worthy”. Chances are one or both affect you – they affect at least 70% of the population!!

Dan S Kennedy, in his book No Rules, 21 Giant Lies for Success, talks about the insurance salesmen who gather on Monday morning for the weekly motivation meeting. They leave fired up to get sales, but most return on Thursday or Friday with their tails between their legs - unsuccessful in making sales. The unsuccessful ones started with their conscious mind full of positive affirmations, but with their subconscious throwing out the anchor of “I’m not able” and/or “I’m not worthy” to slow them down. And the result was that regardless how hard they worked with their conscious affirmations, the beliefs kept them from succeeding. The first time they hit rejection, their worms were there to confirm their beliefs. Their beliefs made them their own worst enemy – no one else could even come close.

So how do you overcome these worms so you can be successful. How do you become your best friend? First, you become aware of what your mind is telling you. What conversations are you having in your mind? Are you convinced that you can and will succeed? Or do you have this nagging feeling that – well – maybe this is a real stretch, and maybe I can’t do it. When you sense that kind of internal conversation, you’re on your way to overcoming the negative beliefs that have been holding you back. Once you identify them, realize they are all yours. They are your conclusions – and they are not the truth. You’ve been your own worst enemy. Challenge the negative belief - it's not the truth – replace it with a positive belief. Become your best friend. It is done every day of the week by people that discover their own value and worth, and throw out their own old, inaccurate ideas of themselves. Do it today – you are as able to do it right now as you ever will be. Help your internal beliefs align with your affirmations and watch yourself grow.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved