Passion, Commitment and Energy - An Unbeatable Combination

Have you ever tried to keep something you really like, or something you're really excited about, at arm's length? It's almost impossible! Whether it's a relationship, an assignment, a ball game, an interest - when we get really excited and passionate about it, we get close – we embrace the moment and the thing that has us so involved. And when we do that, good things happen. Do you recall what it felt like when you really embraced something – the excitement, the clarity, the commitment, the passion?

It takes that clarity, that excitement, that passion, to be successful in whatever we want to do.

And yet, how often do we catch ourselves holding back – holding our arms out and saying “ Wait,” rather than engaging with whatever it is that wants to engage us. And in a very short time, the opportunity to engage is gone – never to be be recaptured. One more stone unturned, one more bell not answered, one less chance at the brass ring.

Even the most optimistic, opportunistic person has had exciting things pass them by – there are only so many hours in the day. Think how many more real opportunities for engagement pass by those of us who, for whatever the reasons, are pessimists, are fearful, are concerned most with consequences. Study after study shows that the vast majority of people are more motivated to act from a fear of loss than from an opportunity for gain. And if you're acting from fear or from avoidance, your performance is really limited. Chances of really succeeding can't be found in trying to limit loss or avoid a fear.

The secret to success is found when we act on things that excite us – that make us feel positively that we can succeed, that make us believe in our own ability and worthiness, that make us step out of our comfort zone and reach.

Real success is found beyond our reach, beyond our comfort zone, beyond where we thought we could ever go. It is found with excitement, passion, clarity of purpose and commitment. It is found through risk, and personal belief, and the support of other believers.

It's found in behavior best described by this piece of advice:

“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt before, dance like nobody is watching.- and take a chance like you're the luckiest person in the world.”

What a great way to lead our lives! Start today.

Written by Andy Cox, President
Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032, Ph:602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/
Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved

When Knowledge Becomes a Liability to Success

I never realized until recently just how much the quest for knowledge can get in the way of success.

Let me explain. A client has a really bright, articulate, energetic, well schooled salesperson they are trying to develop. They hired this person out of a top school. She was right at the top of her class in a challenging engineering course of study. She has all the attributes of an "A" player - not just for her company, but for a lot of organizations. Problem is - she just doesn't get to the market in a timely way. She always seems to have one more "thing" she has to define, or look into, before having that critical conversation with a prospect. Her product is highly technical, and its potential applications do require study and preparation. But any number of sales have slipped through her fingers in the two years she has worked for my client. What's the problem?

It's a common problem for many people who have a high Theoretical Attitude as one of the main drivers of their Behavior. These are people who sincerely believe that knowledge is power - and, up to a point, they are right. They seek knowledge instinctively - their first resource is a book, or Wikipedia, or a white paper. Their findings, as they research a particular issue, require more and more research - they really begin to know what they don't know - and the acquisition of knowledge becomes an end in itself. They evaluate others on the basis of how well others have done their homework, particularly since that is how they evaluate themselves. The net effect is that they are slow to market, but when they get there they are fully prepared - by their standards. The problem is that money likes speed - fast to market wins - 90% of the time. So the high Theoretical may be competing for only 10% of the available opportunities. You can't meet and beat your organization's expectations that way.

Our client's potential A player became an A player - but in an engineering position that allowed the time to become a subject matter expert - a person valued for their in depth knowledge of their product's applications. She was called on to accompany sales people on calls - she provided a depth of knowledge that added enormous value to the sales process. Happy ending - the right person in the right job.

The moral of this story: Regardless of what you do for a living, knowledge, by itself, is not power. The application of knowledge through action creates power. The next time you catch yourself taking one more step on the information tree, ask yourself if this step has value in application, or is it just another way to learn more for your own sense of preparation. If it doesn't add value to application, stop. Take what you know and apply it - 95% of everything rewards speed in application. If you see others doing the "knowledge is power" behavior, send them this blog - maybe it can start them thinking about the application of power - and get them acting.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com,

Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved

The Fantastic Consequences of Commitment

I read this quote from Goethe in The Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale. Some things never change - I wish I had written this - but I sure am inspired by it. I hope you are too. (Bolding added by me.)

Quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, born 1749, died 1832:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills
countless ideas and endless plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then providence moves, too.

All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of
unforeseen incidents and meetings and
material assistance which no man
could have dreamed would come his way.

Whatever you can do or
dream you can, begin it!
Boldness has genius, power
and magic in it."

If you're into daily affirmations and inspirations, copy this and read it every day - you will benefit from it - I guarantee it!

Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Celebrate Small Successes - Today's Successes

You know the sayings - you eat an elephant a bite at a time; a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Well, they're true - and we need to keep reminding ourselves of how true they are. Translating those sayings into our every day habits of thought can be difficult, particularly when faced with a BHAG - a Big Hairy Audacious Goal - but it's critical we do that.

Those daily successes are the basis for those BHAG's. Without the day to day successes, the BHAG's don't happen.

A client company I was working with were looking to save $2 million through cost reductions in a year - a lot of money for a $90 million a year enterprise - a BHAG. At the very first meeting of the team assigned to define how to save that money, one of the first proposals offered by the team had a value of $50,000 in real savings in the first year. The CFO responded by saying he was looking for real savings, not such small amounts! The CEO didn't respond to that comment. No further proposed cost savings were made by the team. The meeting ended.

In talking to the team they explained that all of the other cost savings they were going to propose were smaller than the $50, 000 proposal that had received such a negative response. Based on the CFO's input, they weren't willing to bring them up. I asked how many proposals they had defined and developed. They had nine solid proposals amounting to cost savings in the first year of $375,000 - almost 20% of the $2 million goal! Not exactly chicken feed!

We met with the CEO and the CFO and talked about expectations, team motivation, and how to get to $2 million in savings. The CEO and CFO were eager to get to $2 million fast, or they and/or the business would not survive. They had been disappointed when the team came up with a proposal for just $50,000. They had hoped for 10 times that amount. When they found out that the team had identified $375,000 in savings in a short time, their expectations changed. They were able to see the value in supporting a series of small - compared to original expectations, successes as the way to the BHAG. The team succeeded in meeting and exceeding the $2 million goal.

We need to see the big picture, but the big picture is composed of a lot of small pictures. Take the time to identify those small pictures and celebrate their achievement - it creates the energy and commitment and passion to press on until the big picture is achieved.

Do it today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032, Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Ciopyright 2006. All Rights Reserved

Two Things To Do Today To Succeed

After writing and posting the three actions to take for success blog yesterday, I met a person who I will describe as impressive, until we shook hands. Left me cold with the fish grip and no eye contact. Wow! What a first impression!

I've been reading a book called The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. A terrific book, particularly for us strong, silent, independent types who think we are required by some law of the universe to do things ourselves, and not to ask for help, because that would be a sign of weakness.

So what are the two things we can do today to help us succeed?

The first is check your handshake. It's amazing how many people, male and female, give the limp shake. It shouldn't come as a surprise that a limp shake gives the impression of low energy, of lack of interest, of lack of confidence. At the same time you're checking your grip, check out how you make eye contact. A limp shake with no eye contact is a sure turnoff to successful people. They might respect your technical talents, they may respect your accomplishments, but I guarantee they will not want you to represent their organization to other organizations, to "A" player candidates, or to any other influential person or organization. Use a mirror to practice your eye contact, your smile, and your words of introduction until they become second nature. Practice your handshake with a friend - preferably someone with a good, strong , non - finger - breaking grip, and make a firm, brief, full hand shake a habit. And use it with both men and women. Do it now.

The second is to ASK! The biggest part of The Aladdin Factor deals with asking for what we want - in life - in business - in relationships. Read it - it will change how you look at independence, as opposed to interdependence. Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People talks about the three stages of development - dependence, independence and interdependence. I don't know about you, but I was brought up to believe independence is the highest stage of development. It isn't. Interdependence, working with others in so many ways, gives us leverage in our lives. If we don't ask for help, for advice, for checking our handshake - if we can't do that, we cannot reach that highest level of development. Read this book - do the exercises - ask. It will change your life.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved

Three Things To Do Today to Succeed

These three simople actions you can take today occurred to me while I was leaving the gym behind one of the slowest walking, grim people I have ever seen. And it was right after I listened to Chris Mathews of MSNBC on TV while exercising.

I guarantee if you take these three steps good things will happen to you.

Number 1. Be a "Fast Walker". Stride with purpose. Be in a hurry to get everywhere. Check your pace today. If you find yourself walking more slowly than your fellow workers, speed up. Nothing says low energy like a "Slow Walker" Nothing communicates energy and purpose more than a fast pace.Do it today!

Number 2. Speak with conviction. Without getting into the politics of Chris Mathews, he speaks with conviction. Have you ever noticed how people will listen to and believe people who speak with conviction and with a direct manner that can be heard. Are they necessarily correct, or the most expert person on the subject? No! But most people find comfort in conviction - they want to believe they are listening to an expert. So if you are like me, always looking for more knowledge before speaking out - or speaking out and qualifying what you say, you're not getting heard. Listen to yourself - change - you've got a lot to say - speak up, speak out, let people know what you think! Do it today!

Number 3. Give yourself a facelift. Smile! It's amazing what a smile does to relationships. It transforms people - it makes them more approachable - it makes them appear successful - it says " I'm doing good". People want to identify and associate with people who feel good about themselves. Check your image and your manner. Ask people how you look to them. If your "Force Field" screams "Stay Away" then change your message - smile. I don't mean walking around with an insane grin on your face, but making a smile as much a part of your persona as other emotions. It's amazing how little effort it takes, and the return is tremendous!

Be a fast walker, speak with conviction, smile - what a combination!! Do it today.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andy@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait - Or Do They?

Do you remember being told that "Good things happen to those who wait?" Usually it was said after something had already happened, and someone was providing hope and encouragement for the future. As a belief, it gives us a warm fuzzy feeling of security. A feeling that if we just stick around, be patient and prepare, good things will happen. A truly false feeling of security.

A radio announcer reminded me of this belief the other day. After saying "Good things come to those who wait" he said in his experience the only thing left for those who wait are the leftovers - the stuff the people who acted quickly didn't want.

He's right. I hadn't thought about it in those terms, but the more I reflected on it, the more obvious it became. I 've been guilty of this self talk - often - and very little good came to me by waiting. OK, some things just have to take time - like growing corn or tomatoes. But even there, first to market makes the most money.

If you hear your self talk rationalizing inaction by saying "Oh well, good things come to those who wait", stop and fight that belief. Don't let it become imbedded in your mind - if you act now, you will succeed. If you wait, you are turning your opportunity over to the tender mercies of others and of fate - and rarely does that work to advantage. Do it now - get first choice in whatever it is you are stiving to accomplish.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Negative Expectations - Beliefs That Keep Us From Asking For What We Want

Somewhere along the way many of us developed negative beliefs about asking for what we want. Perhaps we believe that asking is a sign of personal weakness. Perhaps a sign of dependency. Perhaps we don't feel we are worthy of asking. Perhaps we feel that people that ask for things are imposing, and since we feel that way, others must feel the same way.

Many of these limiting beliefs - and they are limiting - result in our believing that to ask is to set ourselves up for refusal - failure - embarrassment - loss of self respect and esteem. And so we only ask if and when we have no other choices left. And often we are disappointed, because in asking we start with negative expectations - that we will fail - be refused - and that is exactly what we get. Have you ever heard the saying " You get what you believe you will get'? If we're thinking failure, we will get it - and in getting it we reinforce the negative expectations of asking.

So what do we do with this giant anchor fashioned from our own thoughts? An anchor that keeps success at arm's length - too far away to really reach, but close enough to feel it is in our grasp - if only ----.

What if we could put aside these negative expectations about asking - for just a day? How liberating would it be to think that upon making that phone call asking to see someone, it turns out they are not just willing, but happy that you called, and want to see you as much as you want to see them. A dream? Perhaps. But is it any less of a dream than the dream of refusal - of rudeness - of "No"? And isn't a positive expectation so much more fun - more energizing - more able to lift us up and keep us going?

How do we create these positive beliefs? We start by listening to what we tell ourselves every day. And fight back every time we hear ourselves telling us to slow down, to protect ourselves from disappointment, to criticize our preparation. Our minds can be changed - we can believe in positive outcomes. It starts by telling ourselves that positive outcomes will happen to us - the possibilities of success are at least as great as the negative thoughts we have had in the past.

Start today - start with the next negative outcome that your mind creates for you - realize it is no truer than the opposite, positive outcome. Then let your actions be guided by opportunity - it is so much fun - and energizing, and driven toward success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032, Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006. All rights reserved

Success Starts With Feeling Important

I was talking to a beautiful, bright artist acquaintance who is an attorney. I asked her what had made her choose the law. Her answer was that she wanted to be important and do something important with her life.

I guess it hadn’t occurred to me that wanting to be important or wanting to do important things could be a focus of career selection – but the more I talk to people it becomes apparent that personal importance and importance to their enterprise are critical factors in success – from both an individual and an enterprise standpoint.

Research has shown three things that we all want in our work; to feel we are part of a worthy enterprise; to contribute to the success of the enterprise; and to be recognized for our contribution. Take any one away and the bond is broken – take away two or three and serious trouble occurs – in turnover, sabotage, theft, dishonesty in many forms, poor customer service, poor sales support.

Our feelings and beliefs about our individual importance are critical to our success regardless how the world may view us. Without a feeling of our own uniqueness and value, it is very hard to succeed – there are too many signals coming in that can jar us and cause us to “give up” and seek our importance from the group – at the expense of how we feel personally.

Have you ever noticed how some people just plunge forward with their work – won’t take no for an answer, and, while they may leave some bodies bleeding in their wake, they get recognized and rewarded. I suggest they have a very strong conviction that what they are doing is absolutely critical to their enterprise. They are the “go to” people in every organization. They are the ten percenters every organization wants and values and works hard to keep. These people are convinced of the importance of their work, they are convinced of their personal importance, and they expect to be recognized and rewarded.

In the middle are the solid players – the people who follow process – the team players who are conscientious, want to succeed – who are willing to put in the effort to get things done right and on time. These are the majority of any organization. They also represent the best opportunity, or the biggest jeopardy, to the enterprise. Their feelings of importance are tied closely to the beliefs of working for a worthy enterprise, being recognized and rewarded, and being able to see their contribution.

Then there are the people who are rarely asked to step up – who are assigned to projects with an understanding that they have to be watched closely. These are the ten percent people that Jack Welsh targeted while at GE. They believe their performance is conditional on how well the organization treats them – the old “ pay me more and I will do more”. Their “employment contract” is conditioned upon things outside themselves being the drivers of their performance. You cannot be successful with this set of beliefs.

Assess where you are in terms of your own importance and your importance to your organization. If you don’t like what you see, start with your own sense of the importance of what you do. Every job in every organization is important. Be convinced of that – then act on that belief and watch your performance, rewards and recognition increase!

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032

Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail:andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

Hiring The Right People Is A Two Way Street

Mr Right, for lack of a better name, had decided it was time to move on to a new job. He had all of the qualifications: education, experience, accomplishments, industry experience and contacts. He was definitely an "A" player in his industry.

So he went about the business of looking, and in short order he had three different companies that were very interested.

Company A interviewed him, set up a second round of interviews with top people directly involved in the position he was being considered for, interviewed him and, after checking references - with his permission, and assessing his fit, made him an offer - albeit a low ball offer to start the process of negotiation. Throughout the process so far he was treated well, with all the steps completed in an organized, efficient manner

Company B contacted him, completed a phone interview with the Hiring Manager and the HR recruiter, and set up an interview schedule with four stakeholder executives for a Saturday, recognizing his commitments to his current employer. The interviews were held, he left feeling good about the position and his own performance. Two weeks later he had not yet had a followup call or letter, even though he had sent thank you letters to the people he had talked to.

Company C contacted him, asked him to come in as soon as possible, and then took him and his resume to eight different people - all who dropped what they were doing to talk to him - with numerous interruptions - and then he was interviewed by the Hiring Manager who said he had glowing feedback and asked what it would take to get him to come to work for them.

Where do you think Mr Right ended up?

He could have ended up at any one of the three companies, although my bet would be that a Company D, that didn't lowball him, that didn't leave him hanging, that didn't rush to hire, probably would be where a highly sought after, A player, would end up.

My point is that in hiring, the applicant is making a decision at least as critical to them as it is to the company. Top candidates look at all the little signals that tell whether their prospective employer is someone they want to work for - and if they find that company wanting, they keep looking. C players are easy to hire - they will often put up with delays, low ball offers, disorganized process, multiple interviews ( as many as 21 different interviews is the record in my experience) and snap decisions based on getting a "warm one" hired as soon as possible.
That's how companies end up with more than their share of C's, D's and F's.

Suggestion: Take the time to audit your own selection process from the applicants point of view. Go so far as to have a "Mystery Applicant" apply with the objective of seeing how things actually go. Chances are there is room for improvement in your process - for selection at every level. Make the changes to give the applicant the best possible view of your organization - as an organization, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. More A players are lost because companies drop the ball in the process of selection than for any other reason - don't let it happen to you.

The Power of Keeping Track

I am constantly battling my weight. I'm always chasing that elusive "ten pounds" that so many of us just never seem to get around to losing. Unfortunately, that "elusive ten" sometimes balloons to twenty pounds - or even a little bit more.

You know when that happens? It happens to me when I decide I don't want to spend the time to keep track of what I eatand drink. I reach a point where I am convinced that I know - from past experience and from past keeping track - how much I can eat and what I can eat, so why spend the time on recording what I already know?

This last time I made the decision to stop recording what I eat, I gained ten pounds in the following ninety days - ten pounds that becomes more and more difficult to shed as I get older. No big change in eating habits - no change in exercise habits - just a little bit here and a little bit there. I'm back to keeping track, and I see where those little snacks and larger portions that I kidded myself into believing would have no effect did add weight.

Keeping track keeps me honest to myself. It keeps me accountable for my own behavior - for my own choices. I don't have to share the records with anyone else - just with myself. I find when I do that, good things happen - probably because I am dealing with reality, and not with selective memory - that ability to only remember the high spots.

If you're dealing with weight, or any of a thousand other challenges and goals, keep track. Write down what is most important to you and then keep track of how you are progressing toward where you want to be. It doesn't have to be an involved process - keep it simple so you persist in recording.

In my experience, and the experience of many, many succesful people, keeping track is the most important single thing you can do to reach where you want to be. Do it - today.

Written by Andrew Cox, President, The Cox Consulting Group LLC

Ph:602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Right Reserved

Beware Of Fair - The Real "F" Word

If there is a single word that makes my hair stand on end - it has to be "Fair". It's a word that has very powerful emotional appeal. How often do we hear "It's not fair", or "You're not beng fair", or "The company isn't being fair".

How often have you heard that reason - "It's just not fair", being used as the bottom line of an argument? Logic may say there is no merit to the complaint, but most people don't make their decisions based on logic and reason. They make them on emotion - and fairness is one of the most powerful appeals that can be made.

Fair, to me, is in the eye of the beholder. Example: That raise in pay that you thought was so generous when you gave it? Surprise - the person getting it feels it wasn't fair. Not fair! How do you deal with that?

Suggestion: Remind yourself that you are dealing with an emotional perception, not logic, and not necessarily a criticism or accusation - although it can be hard not to see it that way. Responding directly with logic usually gets you no where. Asking what isn't fair - in an open way - can result in an answer you can both deal with. You might be surprised - there probably are information and perceptions that created that emotion of unfairness that you can work with. Not addressing the emotion or becoming angry and defensive adds fuel to the fire. " What doesn't seem fair to you?" is a good opening question. In using it you are honoring the emotion without changing your own position - a good start on a productive discussion.

The secret to this kind of dialogue is to realize you are dealing with emotion; and accepting that emotion and trying to qualify it is the very best way to work with it. Try it - today.

Written by Andy Cox , Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive

Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4200; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Optimists Lead - Pessimists Provide Input

Optimism plays a huge part in success. About 30% of us can be called optimists, and about 70% are pessimists. Put another way, about 30% of us are motivated by opportunity, and the remaining 70% are motivated by consequences - or fear of loss.

When optimists talk to other optimists, all kinds of opportunities flow - some crazy, some not. When optimists talk to pessimists, they both come away frustrated unless they value the input of their very separate beliefs, and if they do, synergy can do great things. When pessimists talk to pessimists, better bomb shelters to protect from the inevitable nuclear attack are designed and constructed.

So where do you want to be? To answer that question, start with where you are now. Question your own self talk. How do you look at opportunities - as opportunities or as something that has the threat to be screwed up and cause you a loss.

An example: In our seminars on selection of talent in organizations, one of the beliefs we ask participants to talk about is the belief that "every opening in your organization represents an opportunity to make your organization better." It's amazing how many people, when you really listen to what they believe, do not share that view. Many really think hiring is a pain in the ass - taking way too much time away from what is really important, or it is an opportunity to screw up, or they really don't want to be involved - the "just send me a body approach."

Two events motivated me to write this particular blog. The first is the TV ad that shows the guy perched on a bridge spanning a river with a pair of homemade wings strapped to his arms. It's set in what appears to be 1700's Europe. He screws up the courage to jump off the bridge and he glides. The crowd gasps and says " He flies". An old man passing by says, "Yes, But he can't swim!" And the next thing we see is the man crashing into the river. Bummer. Wish he had thought of that before taking the "plunge" over open water.

The second event is an ongoing one for me. A writer named Jon Talton is the business section op-ed writer for our paper - The Arizona Republic. He has to be the most pessimistic, dismissive writer I have ever experienced. There isn't a good piece of news about the local, state, or national economy that he can't dismiss, discount or minimize. Reading him must be some form of perverse pleasure for me - I always come away with less enthusiasm than I had before reading his latest attempt at throwing cold water on good news.

My point in both of these events is to show how varied pessimism can be , and how draining it can be as well. Think about applying for a job where the hiring manager thinks selection is a pain in the ass. Maybe you've been there. Think about having someone rain on your new promotion with an observation that the company is going to hell in a handbasket and is close to failure. The effect - energy drained, passion smothered and a promise to avoid this negative influence in the future.

Listen to your own self talk - do you see the glass half empty or half full. Is your first instinct to define why something won't work, or is it to greet the idea as valuable and worth more thought? As a salesperson, are you more concerned with meeting quota and keeping your job, or with finding that next possibility that will keep you on the road to success?

Give it some thought - value both pessimists and optimists - we sure need both. Just make sure you look for your share of opportunities.

Your Worst Enemy - Your Best Friend

I’m my worst enemy – I’m my best friend. Let me explain.

I have developed a series of beliefs in my mind that guide my behavior and my feelings and emotions. Those beliefs are based on a lot of things – experience, teaching, emotions, conditioning, – the one thing they are not based on is the truth. They are all mine -my beliefs – regardless how far from the truth they may be.

An example – I have always thought I have skinny arms. My forearms are 14” and my biceps are 15” – not huge, but not skinny. And yet, to me they are not nearly large enough. I feel like I am a small man – but I am 5’10” tall and weigh 190 pounds. Not huge, but not small. What creates my beliefs of being a small person with skinny arms? I’ll bet you have some of the same beliefs – neck too long, legs too short, butt too big, butt not big enough, 12 pack hiding a six pack , too skinny, too fat -----.

Most of these kinds of personal beliefs are harmless – but others can make or break our success in life. Peter Senge in his book The Fifth Discipline talks about the two beliefs most of us have in some measure that affect our ability to perform. These beliefs – I call them worms because they can be so imbedded in our mind – can lead to failure in our lives. And yet, the worms are not the truth. The two beliefs/worms that are so critical are: “I am not able”, and “I am not worthy”. Chances are one or both affect you – they affect at least 70% of the population!!

Dan S Kennedy, in his book No Rules, 21 Giant Lies for Success, talks about the insurance salesmen who gather on Monday morning for the weekly motivation meeting. They leave fired up to get sales, but most return on Thursday or Friday with their tails between their legs - unsuccessful in making sales. The unsuccessful ones started with their conscious mind full of positive affirmations, but with their subconscious throwing out the anchor of “I’m not able” and/or “I’m not worthy” to slow them down. And the result was that regardless how hard they worked with their conscious affirmations, the beliefs kept them from succeeding. The first time they hit rejection, their worms were there to confirm their beliefs. Their beliefs made them their own worst enemy – no one else could even come close.

So how do you overcome these worms so you can be successful. How do you become your best friend? First, you become aware of what your mind is telling you. What conversations are you having in your mind? Are you convinced that you can and will succeed? Or do you have this nagging feeling that – well – maybe this is a real stretch, and maybe I can’t do it. When you sense that kind of internal conversation, you’re on your way to overcoming the negative beliefs that have been holding you back. Once you identify them, realize they are all yours. They are your conclusions – and they are not the truth. You’ve been your own worst enemy. Challenge the negative belief - it's not the truth – replace it with a positive belief. Become your best friend. It is done every day of the week by people that discover their own value and worth, and throw out their own old, inaccurate ideas of themselves. Do it today – you are as able to do it right now as you ever will be. Help your internal beliefs align with your affirmations and watch yourself grow.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

The Status Quo In Sales - The Real Competitor

Here's the real secret to success or failure in selling - be it selling your ideas, or your products, or your services. The secret to success is being there when the prospect's continuing to do things the way they have been done - the Status Quo - isn't working.

How often have you been faced with a prospect who you are convinced could benefit from your product or service, only to have them decline to buy? What do you do about it? If you are smart, you hang in there. Circumstances have a way of changing.

A friend of mine said there are two kinds of prospects that you will sell to - the inspired and the desperate. Whether they are inspired or desperate, something has caused them to decide that where they are now is not where they want to be. That's where sales are made - when the status quo is seen - by the prospect - as no longer an acceptable place to stay.

So the real challenge is to work with the prospect to uncover situations where change can be identified as good, and the status quo unacceptable, and the potential for gain exceeds the risk of loss. Many times that isn't possible - at least in the short term. But those special four letters from Mandino's book, The Greatest Salesman In The World, come back to me - "This too shall pass." You gotta stay in play. How often have you seen things turn around and what seemed impossible one day becomes not just possible but necessary the next?

That's where the sales person that understands the Status Quo as the real competition will prosper, and the one that doesn't - that sees today's rejection as personal, or absolute, will fail.

Stay in the game.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Persistence, When It Becomes a Weakness

Persistence becomes a weakness when you are beating your head against a stone wall, and:

You're beating your head against the wrong wall
Somebody took the wall away, or moved it, and didn't tell you
You haven't looked up lately to see if you are headed toward the wall
Another wall of greater importance has been created and you haven't adjusted

- and/or-

You continue to do things the same way and expect a different outcome

When was the last time you persisted in meeting a goal, or keeping a promise you had made to yourself or to someone else, only to find that it no longer had the importance it had when the commitment was made?

Have you ever had a salesperson just keep calling and calling, and then finally you buy - or, more likely, don't buy. If you are in sales, have you ever vowed to yourself that you were going to close a particular sale, and you persisted, and did, and never got another order from that person?

Have you ever pressed on in the face of feedback that changing course should be considered, but you just kept going - convinced of the rightness of your way?

There is a fine line between persistence and obstinancy - or obsessive behavior - or bull headedness, whatever you want to call it. And knowing when that line is crossed can be very difficult.

We've all been told that quitting is bad - and it is. We've all been told that success is only 5% away - and it may be. We've all been told that persistence is a strength - and it is. But we've also seen persistence end up in frustration and failure

Persistence is a strength, but it's use is very much situational. An example is the saleperson selling a transactional item - one that is a single buy on a single sales pitch, as opposed to a salesperson in relationship selling - selling a big ticket item to an organization where the decision to buy is made at the end of a lengthy discovery and planning cycle. A transactional salesperson better not make 15 calls on one person to sell - better to spend the time in prospecting for additional transactional customers. The relationship salesperson, on the other hand, may find a hundred calls to seventy five different people in a single company over a period of years to be necessary. In the one case persistence is defined in prospecting, in the other persistence is defined in building relationships over time. The thing both salespeople have in common is working through discouragement, delays, bad news, competition, unforeseen circumstances, to reach their goal - sales revenue.

How can we know when we have let our persistence get in the way of our success? For many people, the answer is easy - "You'll know it when you see it" That's not always true.

I suggest you ask the following questions - of yourself and others, at defined steps in whatever project or endeavor you are in - even the ones that seem to be going well.

1 - Do we have a stated, commonly agreed to goal for this project, and do we regularly examine it , refine it, amend it to meet realities - (If you don't have the goal, don't go any further until you get it)
3 - To what extent can we measure our progress toward our goal ?
4 - Does this project represent a worthy goal for the organization - today?
5 - Have things changed since this was started that may affect outcomes and requirements - have adjustments been made to reflect the changes ?
6 - When's the last time we evaluated this goal, and its value to the organization?
7 - What are the positive outcomes as a result of meeting this goal?
8 - What are the consequences of not meeting this goal - personally and organizationally?
9 - What changes can we make to the goal, or to the actions to support the goal, to be successful?
10 -Does everyone working on this goal agree this is a worthy goal?
11 - Is how hard we work - measured in time, used to measure success? If it is, can we change that so results are the measure of success?

There is no score for this set of questions. The answers will tell you when you have crossed the line from persistence to spinning your wheels, and help you get back on track. And if you don't have a clear goal, get one or look other places to use your persistence.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail:andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

What Makes An "A" Player?

I have a confession to make - I have been in situations where I was a "B", a "C", and, yes, even a "D" player. I suspect most people will admit that they have not always been considered "A" players.

My point? I don't believe there is such a thing as an "A" player for all situations. We've all seen it - the top person in one position gets promoted or transferred or hired to another position. And they struggle, and they either fail and move on, or worse yet, stay and survive and become that dreaded "C" Player.

What makes the difference - in one job a top person, and in another a failure or, at best, a survivor? The person hasn't changed - all the skills, knowledge, experience, behaviors, attitudes and skills that added together to create real success are still there, and maybe that's the problem. What works in one situation doesn't work in another - even though they may look like they should.

I submit when that mix of what the job requires and what the person brings to it are a close fit, an "A" player is made. When that doesn't happen, getting to be an "A" player requires adaptation, self knowledge, interpersonal skills and emotional maturity. Rarely do the elements of education, experience, technical skills and industry knowledge make the difference.

Some people have the potential andf ability to be "A" players in more situations than do other people. I submit that is true because of ability to recognize the need to change and adapt, knowledge of the key personal skills they possess and how those fit with job requirements. It's the ability to develop effective interpersonal relationships that can be sustained. It's the ability to see one's own behavior, attitudes and personal skills accurately, and deal with them realistically. It is the ability to maintain a high level of emotional control.

What is an "A" player? The right person in the right job - as measured by results. For some people, it seems they are always "A" players - don't fool yourself. It takes hard work for even the most gifted. But the fact is "A" player potential exists in each of us.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Assumptions - the Trap of Using Them to Predict Outcomes

Here is a story illustrating how beliefs we have create assumptions that can create their own set of issues and problems.

Having the freedom to choose, to me, is a very liberating idea. I first became really aware of the role choice plays in my responses and living while reading the perennial best-seller by Stephen Covey – “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” When I read the section dealing with choice, it struck me as a tremendously liberating concept, and one that, at that time in my life, I really needed to hold on to and make part of my own beliefs. The belief in choices went a long way to helping me get rid of a victim complex, and begin to understand my own freedom to choose.

Later, when I was conducting a seminar on leadership, the opportunity to introduce and discuss the concept of choice presented itself. The participants in the seminar were first and second level supervisors and managers for a large industrial company located in Atlanta. The response to the personal choice presentation and discussion was, at best, mixed. Some people looked at me like I was from another planet, some looked like they wanted to be somewhere else, and some seemed positively in agreement and accepting of the concept. Overall, the discussion of choice - that I had been so eager to introduce and so sure it would have enthusiastic support - contributed more negative than positive to the seminar.

After the seminar was over, I reviewed what had happened with a well known and respected seminar leader, and I mentioned the mixed response to what I felt was one of the most powerful messages in the seminar. Her answer was to tell me that in her opinion many people are not liberated by the idea of choice; that many people are threatened by choice; that many people are willing and even comfortable in letting others make choices for them; and that many people view the idea of choices more as a burden than as an opportunity.

That blew me away! But experience has led me to better understand what she meant. No wonder the idea of choice in investment decisions with Social Security funds met with such a mixed review by the voters – given the views of choice by many people in our society, that was a negative, not a positive.

Well, there went another of my assumptions – that choice would be seen as a good thing by most if not all people. That is an example of the kind of assumptions we make on a daily basis that lead us to predict outcomes and results - only to be disappointed.

I continue to believe in the power of personal choice, but I no longer assume others do. And I try to always examine my thinking to see if I have set up any minefields where I have used personal assumptions to arrive at conclusions. Good advice if you are a politician, or a leader, or someone looking to influence others to your way of thinking.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC

Phone 602-795-4100; Fax; 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Seeking Reality, A Crucial Skill

At a recent gathering of the Managers and VP's and C Level leaders in a large organization, they were all asked the question "If you had to rank yourself in terms of importance and contribution to our company of all the people at this meeting,, where would you rank ?" The responses were anonymous. 90% responded that they felt they were among the top 10%!! Time for a reality check.

Which brings me to the subject of this Blog. One of the key skills needed for success is to view reality as it exists - not as you wish it would exist, or want it to exist. That sounds pretty simple - it isn't.

A story: A new boss in a client company had all the education, experience, and industry knowledge to be really successful. He had the habit of assigning projects as they became obvious to him, without regard to the resources needed to get the job done. He saw clearly in his mind the need to act - and he was an impatient man. He saw there was so much to do, and so little time. Any attempt by the person assigned the project to negotiate a due date or modify the bosses assignment was met with anger and threats. So the assignee would tell the boss he would start work on it right away - because that was the only acceptable thing to say. The boss would go away satisfied that he would see results and get action - after all, the person he assigned the project said he would. He was able to report that huge progress was being made under his guidance.

After six months, this boss was stunned to find that all these projects were half done, or hardly started, or mired in lack of resources. He saw this as a challenge to his leadership. His reaction was to terminate some of the managers who had failed to perform, and bring in new people with "energy" to get things back on track. They didn't - the same things happened to them - and after eighteen months on the job the boss was fired - but not until he had cost a number of good people their jobs, and caused the business to suffer.

The moral of this story: Saying something doesn't make it so, no matter how hard you try. The personal skill this boss lacked was the skill to see things as they really are, rather than how they would be if his ideas were in place. This boss was so convinced of the rightness of his ways that he could not see the possibility that there may have been acceptable alternatives. His ego wouldn't allow it. The result was two parallel planets - his world as he saw it, and the world measured by results.

Success in any business enterprise requires a large dose of reality - both personally and organizationally. Take the time to inventory your view of reality. Check with people you trust, seek out facts that can't be disputed, seek out people that are outside your usual suspects, listen to what is said - and then challenge yourself and your perceptions to get closer alignment of your view and the reality of world around you. It's a crucial skill.

15 Competencies For Success

Over the years we asked leaders what competencies are essential to success in organizations. We received lots of answers, but the following 15 really cover so many of the essential requirements, we wanted to share them with you.

Dealing with ambiguity

Dealing with paradox

Integrity and trust

Strategic ability

Managerial courage

Managing vision and purpose

Negotiating

Learning on the fly

Command skills

Political savvy

Customer focus

Decision quality

Sizing up people

Innovation management

Building effective teams



The Cox Consulting Group LLC; Ph:602-795-4100; Fax:602-795-4800
E Mail:andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/
Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Success in Personal Leadership and People Selection

Leaders we work with keep giving us their beliefs and advice on how to succeed based on their experiences. Here are beliefs and advice on Personal Leadership and People Selection

Personal Leadership

·In a new job, three things you need to do right away ; get to know your boss and his top three expectations; take action and fix an issue that you have inherited; and identify and establish positive relationships with your universe – the people and their processes that have direct impact on your job.

·Step up to situations you instinctively feel are issues the first time they happen – once you have let them go the first time it becomes more difficult to approach them the second time, and by the third time it's becoming impossible - practice Constructive Confrontation.

·90 to 95 percent of the answers to any organization’s issues lie within the people in the organization – getting that “collective genius” to work is a source of huge competitive advantage.

·Replacing assumptions with expectations is critical to success – and it is done through the establishment of goals that align individual effort with organizational goals.

·Your savings and investments buy you independence and the freedom to make choices – and make you much more effective and valuable as a person not compromised by need when you have to take a stand – on anything.

· 17% of the population learns by reading. That means 83% learn by observing, doing or a combination of the two. Ensure your development processes and programs reflect this reality.

·The biggest mistake is making a mistake and then not admitting it. Leadership is the ability and willingness to step up to mistakes and fix them and be accountable, while others simply wring their hands and hope for the best.

·Your set of skills, experiences and accomplishments have broad application to a variety of opportunities – place a high value on how much you bring to the table.

·Encourage constructive, “what if” dreaming – encourage turning dreams into goals that lead to action that lead to the dream being fulfilled.

·Opportunities will be presented to you - some will be more obvious than others. Train yourself to think in terms of opportunities – particularly if you instinctively think in terms of consequences. Remember, only 30% of the population thinks in terms of opportunities while 70% think in terms of consequences.

·Avoid putting your boss in the position of having to choose between you and another person - bosses really dislike being put in that position. There is a good chance your boss will resent having to do it, and even if you win, you may lose!

People Selection

·If you have a manager who constantly communicates they could do better if only they had better people, you have a management problem, not a people problem.

·In successful organizations, every hire is seen as an opportunity to improve the organization

·The manager of the person being hired must be accountable for the hire decision – it's amazing how many managers do not consider the decision to hire to be their decision.

·Make sure you have a hire process, and insist that it is followed – sloppy hiring leads to all kinds of things – all bad. Most employee lawsuits arise out of poor selection processes and practices.

·Other things being equal, hire the smarter person. Make sure your process can identify applied intelligence as part of the selection process.

· Leaders will know within 90 days whether or not a person is going to make it. If they are not going to make it, they take action quickly.

Andy Cox, President
The Cox Consulting Group LLC Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800;
E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com
Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Success - Keys To Getting There - Change and Accountability

The leaders we work with just keep providing us with more and more of their beliefs and perspectives and advice. It is our pleasure to pass them on. Here are some beliefs and suggestions for making successful changes and for creating self responsibility and accountability.

Change

·There are Four Stages in the life of every successful change process – from the smallest to the largest. They are: 1 - Enthusiasm, 2 - Frustration, 3 - Renewal and 4 - Success. They always occur in this order.

·The single best way to create commitment and alignment of effort in change situations is through a goal setting process that starts with macro goals and creates the opportunity for every person in the organization to set individual goals that support the big organizational goals.

·People don’t resist change – but they really resist being changed!!

·The most difficult kind of change is to change individual behavior – but it is the most effective and the highest leverage kind of change.

·The ability of an organization's people to support and embrace change is its single biggest source of competitive advantage.

·The middle 80 to 90% of the people in any organization represent the biggest single opportunity for increased competitive advantage.

·Follow the 24 Hour Rule!! When faced with a life altering piece of news, or any other event that demands a response – be it about health, career, family – step back for at least 24 hours and process it – do not make decisions during this period of time. If others press you to – resist. There are a very few situations that won’t allow a 24 hour period for processing.

·Small changes lead to big changes. Identify the big change demands – then start with small incremental changes. Most people think in terms of big change – lose 100 pounds; quit smoking; learn a language; get a new job. Those are great, but they are made up of a series of small changes – the snack we replace with a 10- minute walk, the book we read every month instead of watching TV. And the sum of those small changes is huge! The key is to act today.

·Choice –people that think in terms of opportunities find personal choice is exciting and liberating. It is of equal importance to realize that for people who think in terms of consequences - and what they might lose - personal choice is a scary and threatening concept! And about 70% of the population thinks in terms of consequences.

·When starting anything new, write down your first impressions, how you feel, the way you look at people and problems ---whatever you think is important. Put it away – don’t look at it for a month – then read it and be amazed at how much progress you have made and how your perspective has changed. Write a new letter and wait another month to read that one. Prepare to be amazed at yourself!

Self - Responsibility and Accountability

·Always assure that accountability is clear. There must always be a single person accountable for every project, function and responsibility. Where accountability is not clear, the risk of failure is high.

·You do not have to pay someone else’s dues – only your own – and that is enough

·You are responsible for your own choices, actions and decisions – in all cases – without exception – always.

·Victims blame others for problems; leaders fix the problem. Find the lessons to be learned and see the same thing doesn’t happen again, and press on.

·You are responsible for your own success at work. It may be tempting to turn that responsibility over to someone else, but remember, even assuming you can find someone willing to do that, their idea of success for you and your idea are probably very different!

·By the time you realize you have been complaining about your job or your boss or your career, be aware that you have been behaving like that for some time, and you may be “toxic” to others around you. If you can’t change that behavior, get out and start over somewhere else –with the experience having taught you something.

Andy Cox President
The Cox Consulting Group LLC Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800;
E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com
Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Copyright 2006 All Rights Reserved

Advice From Leaders on How To Succeed

Leaders we work with provide advice on how to succeed. What follows are some of those pieces of advice.

People Relationships

·Become an observer of behavior – first your own behavior, then the behavior of others. Understanding how you and others act and interact is a powerful asset – a top 5% asset.

·Creating and maintaining positive relationships with people is the most important behavior in determining your success

·Technical ability in your chosen career is necessary – the ability to work effectively with people is absolutely necessary, regardless of your career.

·Judging others is a recipe for career failure - you will be wrong in your judgments because you will use your own motivations, experiences, attitudes and beliefs as the basis for judging – and yours are not theirs.

· Listening beats speaking 70% of the time. When you are talking, unless you are the rare person skilled in accurately reading body language, you are learning very little.

·You cannot change the way people treat you – you can change the way you treat them.

·Be sure you perform at a personal level of conduct that meets or exceeds what you expect from others – placing higher standards on the conduct of others than on yourself is a sure way to lose the respect and trust of others.

·30% of the population thinks in terms of opportunities; 70% thinks in terms of consequences. Opportunity people and consequence people have a really hard time understanding and dealing with each other. But both are absolutely essential to the success of any enterprise – creating synergy between their behaviors creates competitive advantage.

·When you are tempted to “fire off” an answer to an E Mail – remember – there is nothing easier for someone to do than to forward that response. When using E Mail, stick to the facts and keep your emotions out of your writing. Always write as if you are writing to a boss you do not know, have never seen, but who has complete control over your career. If you need to react, pick up the phone or, better yet, meet face to face.

·Become really good at the art of Constructive Confrontation – a top 5% behavior. Learn to deal with the issues without defensiveness and with an end in mind.

·There is nothing more devastating to a person than to communicate by your actions that you don’t expect much from them. Low expectations are the root of low performance. If you expect little, you will get little. Tell people by your actions that you expect the best from them – people will respond positively 99% of the time and will exceed your expectations.

Time – Trust – Respect

·Assumptions are the destroyer of trust. Replace assumptions with clear expectations and goals.

·Time is a variable – based on the level of trust you have with your universe of people. The higher the level of trust you have with your universe the more freedom you have to use your time for the important, high leverage things.

·Trust comes from meeting or exceeding commitments, expectations, goals and keeping your word – there are no other ways to get and keep trust.

·There is no more disrespectful action a manager can take than to be wasteful with the time of his/her people. When meetings routinely start late or run late; when time commitments are not kept; when reviews are late; all those actions proclaim loudly that the manager is more concerned with things other than his/her people.





The Cox Consulting Group LLC Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800;
E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com
Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com
Copyright 2006, All Rights Reserved

Leadership Beliefs Critical To Success

After working with many leaders and managers, certain themes and statements keep being repeated in our conversations and seminars and feedback sessions. What follows is the first of our blogs dealing with the beliefs that are critical to success as a leader.

Share them with your own universe of people and be amazed at how effective they can be as a tool to begin discussions on your organization’s issues.


Energy, Work Effort and Passion

Clear goals that align individual effort with organizational objectives create energy and expectation in any organization.

Hard work is absolutely necessary – nothing can replace it - the important thing is to remember to measure the effect of your work in results, not in hours spent. Some of the most effective people are those who spend the most time at work, and some of the least effective people also spend the most time at work!!

Until you have worked with a truly excellent person you will not really know what that means. Once you have, you will look for truly excellent people and realize they are few and far between, so value the ones you have.

Having the right person in the right job creates excellence - more than any othet factor. So create excellence with success in matching people to positions.

Avoid negative people – and if you can’t because of circumstances, do not let their negativity infect you – it will rob you of time and energy and passion, and that is all you have.

Every leader puts a sense of urgency and high energy in the top five attributes for winners.

Your health is the most important element of your life – take the time to take good care of it.

Alcohol and/or drugs may not kill you – but they will slow you down. They will rob you of time and energy, two main elements of what you bring to the table.

Moderation is good if you want moderate results – passion is required for truly exceptional results.

Balance is something people talk about after they have achieved their success – balance in all areas of your lives is a myth – and that is OK.

Passion can trump reason in many situations. The person who speaks with conviction and certainty will be believed, even if they are wrong!!! And that is something to remember.

Our Time, Our Energy andOut Talent are the three things all of us bring to every table.

Energy is a developable resource – physical condition, passion, a positive attitude and success all influence your energy.

Focus is a quality that is absolutely necessary to the completion of projects and to achieving results - it creates energy and fights against diffusion of your efforts.

Make up your mind early on that doing a few things well and completely is better than doing a lot of things average – pick out your passions and pursue them, but not too many passions.

Intention and Results

The only security any of us have is the security of our own accomplishments - and current accomplishments are more important than less current accomplishments.

Intentions are great – but results are how you are evaluated. Lots of people fail to make the distinction between the two.

Don’t ever confuse knowledge with results – knowledge may lead to results, but only if you act!!!

Never confuse buying something with getting results – remember the exercise devices cluttering innumerable closets that were bought on the basis that they were the beginning of fitness? People get rich on “How To” books that become best sellers and end up being read by only 10% of the people who bought them. The other 90% bought them because the title represented hope, and hope without action is delusion, at best.

The only thing worse than an intention that never gets past your consciousness is one that does and is expressed – with no action. People don’t reward intention. In fact, they punish it because they thought it would lead to action.

Written by Andrew Cox
The Cox Consulting Group LLC Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800;Email: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com

Fear : Replacing Consequences With Possibilities

Have you ever put off doing something because you really didn't know how it would work out - you didn't know what would happen, but you were concerned that it wouldn't be pretty - or easy - or safe - or career enhancing? Welcome to the club - we all have done that - once in a while. That behavior becomes a problem when the thing being put off is critically important to you. It might be a relationship, it might be financial, it might be health, it might be education, or so many other things.

When we fear an outcome, regardless what it might be, it becomes hard to act. When we fear an outcome, we can find a hundred other things to do to fill up the time we should have spent on the rapidly growing gorilla in the closet. Funny thing - that gorilla does not go away - it just gets bigger and bigger - and meaner and meaner - and more and more difficult to deal with - in our minds. Have you ever finally just stood up to whatever has been holding you back - done it - usually because the cost of continuing to worry about it became higher that just doing it and dealing with the consequences -- and then had to say to yourself "That wasn't too bad - why did I wait so long?" If you resolve to not let it happen again, and it does, you have got the procrastination blues - a state of mind filled with guilt, fear, frustration, regret. A funny thing about most fear. I don't mean the kind caused by a direct physical threat, or natural disasters. I'm talking about the kind of fear that has 100% ownership in your own mind - nowhere else. The kind of fear that, once confronted with action, goes away, leaving you wondering why you waited so long to act. Fear of outcomes is a major cause of procrastination - and since most of it is in our minds, we can't really share it with others. All they see is a failure to act - to accomplish - to keep commitments - to get results.

So how to overcome this fear - this inability to act in a timely manner because of fear of the consequences of your actions?

Realize that fear caused by consequence thinking is a habit of thought that you can overcome. Replace that habit with the habit of looking at positive possibilities. What are the good things that can happen if I act now? What can I gain if I act now? How much better will my life be by acting now? What rewards will I get for acting now? How many people will I influence with my speeches? How much better will I feel about myself if I just do it? The positive possibilities push out the negative consequences. Fear is still there - it's as normal as breathing and eating, but the possibilities of gain help you overcome it. Replace thinking about the worst thing that could happen with thinking about the very best thing that could happen.

Breaking a habit of thought isn't easy - it's done in small victories a day and an action at a time. But it will create the climate in your mind for action leading to success. If you think in consequences and are having trouble acting on the important things, take just one important things, apply the possible good things that can come from acting, and then ask yourself this question - "What am I waiting for?" Do that now - start right now.

Perfectionist - or Procrastinator - or Both?

The following is from a journal - you be the judge: Perfectionist, Procrastinator, or both?

Beginning of Journal Entry

Dear Journal: You know, I really want to make sure that this blog is as good as I can make it. Oh, I know about typos and grammar and all that stuff, and I have that covered. I mean that thing - you know - the one you were taught years ago - "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right"? Well, I've always tried to do that, and even if it cost me, I always made sure every i was dotted and every t crossed - even if it meant I was late getting things done.

When I publish this blog, I want to know that it captures my thoughts as perfectly as possible - that is what I always try to do. I simply can't let go of something until I'm convinced that it is as good as it can be. The only problem is that I always find something that could be improved - something that doesn't read just the way I would like - and that makes it so hard to finish things. I have so many things that are 90% done, but I just can't let them go until I am completely satisfied. Sometimes I just wish I could say " Good enough" and just let things go. But I can't.

I look at other people's work, and it just doesn't measure up - but they seem to get the better jobs, the better assignments, the better opportunities. - it just doesn't seem right. I just feel so sure that other people will judge me as careless, or sloppy, or stupid if I don't do things to the best of my ability. And to do that takes time!! And I never have enough of that. My boss keeps telling me to reach closure on my assignments, but how can I when new information, and new developments constantly pop up, and I feel a real responsibility to make sure they are included. I guess I just have to consider my boss to be lucky to have someone like me - someone who really cares!!

People call me a perfectionist. I used to take a lot of pride in that description - but now I'm not so sure. Some people have - behind my back - called me a procrastinator. Can you imagine that? Here I am, working my ass off to ensure things are the very best, and some lazy bum calls me a procrastinator.

My boss gave me my annual review last week - it was due a month ago, but it took me so long to complete my part of it and to make sure it was perfect, that I was late getting it back to him. He was mad - and he really let me have it. He told me I was his biggest challenge - that my work was always the very highest quality, but my volume of work was the lowest in his department!! And for that reason he was not giving me a bonus - it wouldn't be fair to the others who produced so much more than I did. Those were his exact words! What can I do? I work so hard to get everything right, and now I'm punished!

I've gotta get another job where I can be appreciated. I 've been working on my resume for the last month - I just can't seem to get comfortable with it. I've read three books on resume writing, and developed a chacklist to be sure mine is just right - you never get a second chance to make a first impression!! I'll get it right - tomorrow"

End of Journal Entry

Realize that perfectionism is one of the main habits of thought of procrastination. The need to be right, to be perfect, to be better than anyone else, can really cripple being effective. As Harry Beckwith says in his book, Selling The Invisible, "Don't let perfect get in the way of good!"

Take a few minutes to step back and see if you get caught in this trap. If you do, begin today to break the habit. Every time you are tempted to take one more swipe at a project - to tweak it and make it even better, remember - "Don't let perfect get in the way of good!"

Managing Expectations - A Vital Skill

Ever notice how wrong things can go when intentions become expectations? "I tried to get it done Thursday, but I didn't get it done until Monday." Effect - Whoever was relying on the result is unhappy - possibly unreasonably so. Andthey probably think less of the intender, however unfair that may be.

What cause me to focus on this.? My continuing auto body shop saga.

Here goes:

We had a low speed collision on May 10th - we rearended another car. The damage to the other car was minimal, the damage to our car was a crumpled hood, gouged bumper - but it was driveable. On the 11th, off to the recommended auto body repair shop for an estimate and to start repairs. Got the estimate - was cautioned that there might be additional damage that could not be determined until the crumpled hood could be opened. OK - the guy I was dealing with took me on a tour of the shop - clean, busy, well organized.

On the following Monday, May 15th, I dropped the car off to be repaired. On the 17th I got a call that the damage was more extensive than originally thought and the estimated total repair period from the day I dropped it off was 13 to 15 working days. Damn - the original estimate was 3 to 5 days. I wasn't happy, but OK. On the 24th I get a phone call telling me that the repairs are completed and the car is at "Paint." Great!! My expectations were really exceeded!! As I write this - on June 2nd, the car is still at "Paint." Not painted - just at Paint. I went to the body shop this AM to see my car. Sure enough, it was at Paint - masked, prepped, ready to paint - but not painted. Every day since the 24th I have talked to my Customer Service Manager contact who always assures me that the car is "at Paint" and they will try to get it to me by the following day. Today my contact assured me they would paint the car today and work hard to get it to me by the end of business today. Four hours later my contact calls me to tell me the car has not yet been painted and there is no way he can get it to me today - Friday. But he will "try" (there's that weasel word again), to get it done and to me by the end of business on Monday - the 15th work day since they received the car - and within his original estimate. I am really ticked off, unimpressed with the service, and will never, ever use this shop again! And I have serious doubts that the car will be painted today - he's been telling me that for seven days now - with no results.

I told him I would be at his shop Monday 8AM - and would hope the car was at least painted - there are other final steps that have to take place after paint. I then called our insurance company that recommended this shop - they said there was nothing they could do. Next I got on the body shop website and E mailed the manager of the shop with the facts of the case and asked for his help in getting my car back to me. The E Mail came back as undeliverable. I have forwarded it to their corporate location and asked their representative to get it to the person in charge of the location. I will not hold my breath.

Am I being unreasonable? If you look at the original estimate, you could say Yes. If you look at the communications and the expectations that were started on the 24th, the answer is No. The Customer Service Manager said all he was trying to do was get the car to me as soon as possible, and I think he considers me unreasonable for pressing him. But I only pressed him because he established expectations that have not been met!

Has that ever happened to you? I think we are all guilty of letting our enthusiasm get in the way of our common sense, and the results are often bad news. Better to establish bulletproof expectations and exceed them than to push for a maybe - and miss.

Don't ever confuse intention with results when establishing expectations. You may assume others affected by the missed deadline will understand how hard you worked - how much effort you put into the commitment. They won't.

Is Your Baggage Keeping You In A Rut?

Question: Do you know the difference between a rut and a grave? Answer: A rut's longer!

Sounds harsh - but I'm not writing this for status quo people. This is for people who want to keep moving forward in their lives - who may have a comfort zone, but are always looking for new stuff, or different stuff, or experiences that help them grow.

Let me share a story about baggage: We moved to Boston from California some years ago. After about a year in Boston we concluded people weren't unfriendly - they just had full lives - too full to allow new friends. As a family that had moved often, we saw the structure of the lives of many of the people we came in contact with to be really attractive. For us, every contact, every time we had to see a dentist, a doctor, a pharmacist, a teacher, was a new discovery and challenge. We had met people who - every Sunday - went to 10 AM church on Sunday, then went to Grandma's house for lunch, then watched TV, or played cards, or fought with each other and then stayed for dinner. We knew people that would go out and have spaghetti on Wednesday nights, without fail - Prince spaghetti started that tradition many years ago in Boston. Being new to the area , we envied their comfort and routine and the predictability of their lives. Very little changed in their lives - except growing older - locked in place. Their baggage was filled to overflowing.

We became good friends with people like ourselves - new to the area - open to new relationships. We met people in Boston that are still good friends 15 years later, even though we all now live in different parts of the country. Moving took a lot of our baggage and threw it out the window. We traveled light.

So what do I mean by baggage? Baggage is stuff we have stuck to us - out of habit, or comfort, or necessity. And as the years pass, that stuff tends to accumulate, until our baggage is so full we can't squeeze another bit of anything into it, and when that happens, we stop growing and changing. It can happen at any age - 15 or 30 or 50 or 75. And when your bags are full, and you are comfortable, you stop growing and changing - and life becomes a rut.

Take a look at your own baggage - does it keep you from new things? Does it occupy your time with a diminishing return? We are all creatures of habit - what habits do you have that don't really add value to your lives and the lives of other? What have you always wanted to do? What do you want to do so you die with no regrets? What keeps you from doing those things? I guarantee it is your baggage - the habits of thought or living that keep you in one place.

Start throwing that stuff away - lighten your load - make space for new things. And after you have done that, do it every year.Take an annual inventory of what you do routinely, and then change it. You will be better for it - you will have less baggage - and you will not be in a rut!

Success Starts With Knowing Yourself

Success has a lot of elements to it, but none is more important than having a good grasp of self - how we act and react, how others see us, what are our personal skills, where should we seek help, and what are the careers that best suit who we really are. It is part of that common trait that successful leaders have - seeing things as they are, not as they want them to be or wish them to be. The first step in that reality process is knowing ourselves.

Each of us has three very separate and distinct "Who's". There is the" Who" we think we are, there is the "Who" others think we are, and there is the "Who" we want or wish to be. The closer our three "Who's" are, the greater our chances of success. The further apart they are, the better the chances that we will fail.

Think about it - have you ever been surprised by someone's description of you - have you ever experienced someone who just didn't get it? Have you thought you just weren't communicating - or that the other person just wasn't smart enough to understand you? Have you ever been drawn to work or interests that seem to be at variance with what you think you should be doing? Have you ever seen someone in a job that just did not fit?

Let me give you an example - I had a manager who believed he was seen by others as a friendly, outgoing person who was easy to get along with and very approachable. From time to time he would get some feedback that could have given him signals that others didn't see him that way. Only after many years, a failed leadership position, career counseling and a series of assessments did it start to become clear to him that others did not see him the way he saw himself. The assessments said he was seen by others as cold, impersonal and analytic - more interested in process and analysis than in people. This manager, given the fact that he had just been fired from a position, was willing to look at and analyze the feedback. He started asking people he trusted - there weren't too many - what they thought. Once they felt comfortable being candid, they indeed agreed with the results of the assessments. What a shock!! But in going through that exercise, that manager brought his three "Who's" a little bit closer. He reflected on things in his past and began to see a different picture of himself. At this stage it wasn't a matter of changing his behavior - it was a matter of understanding what his behavior was, and understanding it's impact on others. The decision whether or not to change can't happen until understanding of reality is reached - otherwise it's a lesson in futility.

This manager is now working on the small changes in behavior that can make him more friendly and outgoing to others, while preserving his analytic, process driven values. It's not easy, but I think he will make it, and in doing so, draw his three "Who's" closer.

I suggest each of you take the time to write down who you want to be - in whatever terms you want to use. Then write down what you think others think of you. Then ask trusted friends to discuss what they think. If you are not comfortable doing that , use some other process, like a career counselor or assessments , to get the ball rolling. I guarantee the earlier in your career you come to grips with reality in terms of yourself, the better your chances of success.

Toxic Behaviors

Toxic Behaviors, and What To Do About Them


My father used to tell me ‘ If you don’t have something good to say about someone, don’t say anything”. Have you ever heard similar advice? Have you ever violated that advice? Has violating that advice ever cost you a friend, a relationship, a business deal, a job, or a positive referral or reference? You may have answered yes to the last question, or you may have answered no. But many people would be more inclined to say” I don’t know whether or not some negative comment may have cost me, and if it did, so what?”

I used to work with a person who would bring negative comments to me that he said were made by other people – and he was simply the messenger. He would say something like “So and so said you really made a stupid decision on that last ---------” And I would respond with something like “What the hell does he know?”

Of course, the bearer of the message would go back to the other person and dutifully report what I had said about him. This person never told people things that were not true, and yet he caused extensive damage to interpersonal relationships in that organization. And he did it through attribution – telling others what people had said about them – the fact that he had initiated the conversation that resulted in the juicy little negative tidbit was never part of his conversation.

If ever I had needed to listen to my father’s advice, it was when I was engaged in conversation with this person. Have you ever met and dealt with someone who did the same thing? There seem to be these types in every organization – avoiding them is difficult – recognizing them as toxic is difficult – and dealing with the fallout of their feedback is almost impossible. These are the truly toxic personalities that inhabit every company – they can be very good at their jobs, they are often seen as excellent sources of information, and they are often considered real players in the organization. After all, all they are doing is repeating what has been said to them, and what can be wrong with that?

I got smart about my relationship with this person. When I found out what he was doing with the results of our conversations, I was really angry and distrustful of him and wanted to confront him. Then I came to my senses and decided the only thing he had done was to repeat comments I had made to him, and shame on me if I continued to provide him with information he could pass on. I did what I should have done in the first place – I stuck to business in my conversations with him; I did not discuss personalities; and I let him know that I had no further interest in hearing negative comments others had made about me – they served no purpose other than to cause negative feelings. He was OK with that and we maintained a constructive working relationship. Would I ever trust him? No – there was too much mistrust of his use of confidential information for that. But wh0
said an effective working relationship required friendship? In many cases, the two are far apart, and that’s OK

I have had the opportunity to work with many people in helping them develop their management and leadership skills. The successful leaders all – without exception – have been people who confront and correct behavior issues by dealing directly with the person who is exhibiting the questionable behavior. The successful leaders do not discuss with others the specifics of the discussions they have had, and they take great care to not provide negative information for the story carriers in their organizations. And you can be sure that they know there are story carriers in their organization – that is a given. What the successful leaders will do is seek out constructive counsel, advice, and observations that can assist in the fixing of the behavior. And in so doing they become better prepared for dealing with this particular issue as well as with similar issues that will come up in the future. In following these steps, the successful leader is establishing trust in the organization in his or her ability to lead. People both recognize and appreciate an approach that provides the opportunity to improve and grow and overcome mistakes and failures. People will follow a leader that provides that kind of behavioral example and do whatever is needed to get the job done. In organizations where the grapevine or indirect approach is used – where the person being talked about is the last to know – where the use of gossip and innuendo is tolerated – and even perhaps encouraged, there can be little trust. The result is an organization that avoids making mistakes – that spends an inordinate amount of time on personalities rather than results – that is poorly leveraged – that suffers high turnover among the most effective people, and becomes a home for toxic behaviors that spend more and more of the organization’s time on non productive, destructive and low leverage issues.

Here is a little self-test to help you see if you live in an organization that could use improvement in how it deals with individual behavior issues:

1 -Do you find yourself in discussions about an individual’s behavior that are negative, and the individual is not present?
2 - Do you find yourself in conversations that deal with behaviors rather than results?
3 - Do you know someone in your organization who is the butt of jokes? Someone who is treated with derision and disdain?
4 - Do you find yourself slipping into the habit of discussing negative behavior issues about others as one of the first things brought up in a conversation?
5 - When you attend meetings, is there an “Object Ball” – someone that everyone gangs up on, in those meetings?
6 - Is action to correct a behavior issue more a matter of complaining without action than of taking direct action?

If you can answer Yes to any of these questions, your organization needs to change its approach if it wants to leverage its people assets. How do you change this kind of behavior? Here are some key action items and observations.

1 – You can only change how you deal with others – not how they deal with you. Start by promising yourself that you will not be party to the kind of negative discussions and behaviors that exist in the organization

2 - If you have a person that is not performing, take action – NOW!! Work to get them to at least meeting standards, and if that can’t be done, then they have to leave. To not act is to sow the seeds of discord and distrust. As a leader, the most important thing you can do is to see that your people trust your people judgments and actions!!

3 – Create a positive, results oriented work environment in your workgroup – take the lead in discouraging negative discussion of others

4 – Distance yourself from the negative and toxic people – you know who they are. Create with them a “work only” relationship.

5 – You don’t need to become the champion of the downtrodden and the under performers – in most cases they have created their own problems by their own actions. What you do need to do is reject the” behind the back” behavior that people can exhibit - it is behavior that diminishes everyone who comes in contact with it.

6 – Start today – don’t wait for someone else to take the lead – leadership in this kind of area is a very personal thing – to the extent that you exhibit positive, constructive, results oriented behavior, you will be looked at as a leader – both in your own eyes and in the eyes of the leadership of your organization.

7 – Develop the skill of Constructive Confrontation – of being able to confront behavior and performance issues directly and in a way that allows all parties to maintain effective working relationships.

Remember, the top 10% in an organization are results and opportunity oriented, the negative 10% in an organization are consequence and personality focused, and the 80% in between can be heavily influenced in their behavior either way. Toxic behavior has a way of spreading in an organization and influencing behavior that can reduce leverage and create an ineffective workplace.

Start now to improve your organization – or to preserve a positive atmosphere when signs of toxic behavior start to appear.