My Number One Resolution For 2009

I'm not that great at keeping New Year's resolutions, but this one is going to stick - I promise. I resolve to wipe the F word "fair" from my vocabulary, from my thinking, from my emotions.

How did I arrive at this resolution?

The biggest reason is that "fair," in many of its form as an adjective, is for losers and whiners. And this blog is called "Multiply Your Success - and the use of "Fair" isn't going to make that happen.

There is no more overworked, misunderstood, manipulative, emotional word in our vocabulary than "fair." Politicians use it to create emotions, unions use it to advance their own ends - as do organizations, sales people use it to assure prospects that what they are presenting is good for everybody, people use it to describe what they see as not in their interests, leaders - well some leaders - use it to shift opinion to their side, whiners use it to complain without ever having to be clear about their grievance, let alone provide a solution.

The uses of the word are endless. Merriam Webster includes thirteen different definitions in its use as an adjective, and many more in its use as a noun. The one I like the most says "apparently favorable, but really false: fair (specious) words. "

What is "fair" is in the eye of the beholder - my fair and your fair may be worlds apart. It's possible we may be able, through communication and negotiation, to arrive at a "fair" solution - although the word more often serves as a barrier to effective communication. Or maybe the only thing "fair" is if you see things my way - or vice versa.

I know one thing about the word "fair"- when I hear it being used, I put my hands in my pockets to ensure no one can pick them.

In this last election cycle I heard so many "fairs" that I could gag. I heard it from both sides - "fair" is bipartisan. Anyone can use it - it's powerful, emotional, and fuzzy. Six year olds use it to express displeasure when Mom sends them to their room. And that six year old is not much different - and probably more accurate - than some of our candidates for public office.

It's a word that many use to get sympathy for loss - in its many forms. And it works - sometimes. But for every time it works, there's another time where it just shouts "loser" to those who hear it being used.

It's an entitlement word. I want my "fair share." Usually uttered by someone who has no more right to his or her "fair share" than the man on the moon. 'Fair's" a word that is often linked up with "rights" - like in "I got my rights to a fair share." Say's who?

"Fair" is a word that people use to try to get out of things. Right now the big flap here in Phoenix is about the use of electronic cameras on freeways to control speed. It's argued that their use is not "fair" - as if law enforcement was somehow more a game than a necessary fact of life in our lives. Do I have sympathy for the speeder clocked at 121 miles an hour in a 65 zone? Not really. But their attorney will defend them with at least one "not fair" argument - and they may win. Who said the law is rational? I'd like to see judges throw attorneys out of the courtroom for the use of the word. Except there wouldn't be enough attorneys left over to protect the rights of those treated "unfairly."

I think you get the picture. I ask you to join me in seeing that "fair" is put back where it belongs - as a noun. "I went to the County Fair," "she has a fair complexion" - although that one is borderline. After all, have you ever heard anyone being described as having an " unfair" complexion? But you get what I mean. Let's not get trapped into its use - as a word, as an emotion - as a way of judging. Let's take the world for what it is, and not try to make it what it isn't. Join me in resolving to eliminate "fair" from our thinking.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com ;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

There Is Plenty For Everybody - Share It

A friend sent me a story about Heaven and Hell and sharing. It just struck me as such a good example of why a belief that there is plenty for everybody and a behavior of interdependence represent the highest order of living. At this time of year, and at this time in our economy, it's worth reminding ourselves of that fact.

The story: A man died and went to see St Peter. He was offered the choice of Heaven or Hell. He told St Peter he'd like to see what they looked like before making his decision. St Peter led him to two doors. He opened one, and inside was a large table laden with food. Around the table were people, and all had long spoons strapped to their arms. The spoons looked to be useful for serving the food. Upon closer inspection, the man noticed that all the people looked half starved and emaciated - near death's door - despite the table of food before them. He noticed that the spoons, that had seemed so useful , were actually so long and so tightly bound to the people arms that they couldn't maneuver the spoons contents into their mouths. He watched people struggle to feed themselves, and all failed - while sitting at a table of plenty. St Peter said "This is hell."

St Peter then took the man to the other door. He opened it and the same scene presented itself. The same big table, the same huge quantity of food, the same spoons strapped to all the people's arms. The difference was that all the people in this room were smiling and laughing and talking, and all looked really well fed and healthy. Then the man noticed something different- he saw one person dip their spoon into the food, and then feed the person next to him! He then saw that person dip her spoon into the food and feed him. They had overcome the challenge of the too long spoons by feeding each other, and all got as much as they needed at this table of plenty. St Peter said "This is Heaven. "

The man chose to stay there - wouldn't you?

I have to admit, when I read the first part of the story, it didn't occur to me to think of feeding others as the means to being fed myself. My instinct is independence. That was on display in the Hell room.

In the Heaven room, sharing from the bounty - not giving it away, but sharing - is interdependence - that level of life that is so much more fulfilling than trying to go it alone - interdependence was on display in Heaven. And all who participated in it flourished. There was - indeed - plenty for everybody, but the key to unlocking that plenty was sharing.

At this time of year, and with all the negative news we receive, it's important to remember and practice sharing - acting to help others, sometimes without thinking of return in a material sense, but return in the thanks we receive - or the good feeling helping another can give.

The next time you have an opportunity to help someone, in any number of ways, remember the story of Heaven and Hell, and share. The rewards may not seem apparent at the time, but they are there.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How To Be A Top Contributor In Tough Times

In these times - tough times by anyone's measure - it's important to be seen as a contributor - a person who makes a positive difference in the success of their enterprise.

But having said that, when's the last time you read an article, or a book, on how to be a top contributor to any enterprise? Go in any bookstore and see the books on leadership - rows of them. No titles on being a contributor. And yet effective contribution results in most of the successes in any enterprise - just ask the leaders.

So what does it take to be a top contributor? We asked some of the most successful contributors we know. Here are their answers: ten Behaviors, Attitudes and Personal Skills of top contributors.

We offer these ten answers as a self inventory. As you read through answers, ask yourself where you see yourself on each of them.

1 - Top contributors do the work that's recognized as the most important work by their organization. They identify what is most important by creating mutually shared goals. The secret to effective contribution is doing the work that is most important - and ensuring that is where the focus is. None of the other nine items is even worth mentioning if the important work doesn't get done on time while meeting budget, performance, quality and other criteria. It's not a matter of accepting what needs to be done - that goes without saying. Do the important work and get the opportunity to be seen as a top contributor. This sounds so basic - but it's amazing how often it doesn't occur.

2 - Top contributors practice personal leadership through self discipline. Being on time; meeting commitments; knowing when and how to say no; focusing on work and letting the unimportant go; maintaining emotional control; are all behaviors of top contributors.

3 - Top contributors accept the culture for what it is and adapt to it - or get out. There is no bigger waste of time than trying to change what exists to meet personal expectations. Better to leave or accept the culture - as long as it doesn't require acting immorally, unethically, illegally or unsafely.

4 - It's not about you. Top contributors know personalizing decisions and thinking of them in terms of self is a great way to lose motivation and commitment. Let's face it, a lot of decisions will differ from what might be seen as optimal, but accepting decisions for what they are, not making them personal, and moving on to the next issue is top contributor behavior.

5 - Take pride in contribution. Top contributors are convinced of the importance of their work - if they weren't how could they possibly see the value of their accomplishments? It's like the story of the three bricklayers: when asked what they were doing, the first said he was laying brick; the second said he was helping build a school; and the third said he was participating in offering a better education to children through his best efforts. Which bricklayer best describes how you value your work?

6 - Be convinced that you have a gift to give - then give it. Top contributors don't ration their efforts. They focus, they operate at top speed, and they get more done than they realized they could. And the next time they're asked to climb that same mountain, it's not nearly as high as the first time. And they can look for more - whatever more means to them.

7 - Top contributors realize interdependence beats independence in accomplishing anything. Group effort can seem like a pain at the beginning, but a top contributor knows the pain comes before the gain. Focused effort by a group is so much more powerful than individual effort in almost all situations. Acquiring the Personal Skills to work effectively in collaborations is key to top contribution.

8 - Top contributors have high ideals, but maintain realistic expectations. Peter Senge - in The Fifth Discipline defines a cynic in this way : "Scratch a cynic and you will find an idealist, someone who made the mistake of letting their ideals become their expectations." Ideals are important - without them staying on course is impossible. But creating a failure scenario by making an ideal a goal is a sure recipe for frustration and a reduced sense of self worth.

9- Top contributors are fixers, not blamers. They know establishing accountability for things that go wrong is necessary for the future. But they are much more focused on solutions than on placing blame. They know solutions behavior promotes communication and learning while blame behavior promotes defensiveness and error avoidance.

10 - Top contributors use a combination of personal and organizational goals to frame their work and their lives. The closer the alignment between the different goal sets, the better. Contributors know relying on organizational goals to establish self worth and value is very limiting. Organizational goals can change unexpectedly and often - particularly in tough times. Personal goals, on the other hand, provide a "True North" perspective on what is really important.

Take the time, right now, to carefully look at your own contributions - and what can be done to increase your personal impact in your personal and organizational life. Then decide which of the Behaviors, Attitudes and Personal Skills of top contributors will help you achieve the success you want. Then act to make them happen - and watch 2009, even in the midst of tough times, be the best of times.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Victors Do The Work and Forget The Silver Bullets

Victors know success comes from doing the work. And that belief is even more important in tough times.

At a time when resources have to be carefully committed, and when the need to focus on getting the really important things done is crucial, the temptation to look for silver bullets is greater than ever. And there are plenty of pitchmen out there ready to sell their product of hope - and quick fixes.

I was reminded of that watching a commercial directed toward parents with relationship problems with their children. The sales pitch promises that, as a result of buying their program, parent's relationships with their children can be turned around and become positive within a day of starting the program. I'm sure the program has appeal for millions of parents with child relationship problems, and that millions of dollars are spent on this "silver bullet" - this promise of hope in overcoming a long standing and long developing problem within a short time - and with little effort. And when that program doesn't work - right away - the people who bought it feel victimized, and discouraged, and certainly poorer for the purchase.

There are lots of silver bullets that offer hope of short term, spectacular results. It's what silver bullets do best. Lose weight, increase intelligence, get six pack abs, grow hair, get your kids to love you, become more attractive - you name it, there's a silver bullet out there.

All silver bullets deal in hope - an essential ingredient to any solution. But, paraphrasing Benjamin Franklin, " If hope is what you dine on, you'll go to bed hungry."

Victors know hope is essential in the process of success, but they know you gotta do the work. So they're not fooled by the appeals to get the quick fix.

At the same time, victors realize many of these pitches and products have nuggets of truth that can help achieve success - but not within the expectation level of the sales pitch. Every book I have read, without exception, has value in it, but the real learning comes from applying the ideas gained from each of those books.

Victors know the value is in the action - in the doing. An article in Wooden Boat magazine about an Algerian boat builder who came to a workshop in the US to help him develop a maritime museum in Algeria illustrates the value of action. He is a master boatbuilder - has spent his whole life building boats. His English is not good, but he is very enthusiastic about all that he is learning - and all that he is teaching at the same time. His challenges are the result of difficulty in communicating in English - but he says, "as soon as the tool is picked up and the work starts, the learning and results begin."

Victors know doing the work is the only way to real learning and accomplishment - and success. At the beginning of Chapter 16 of Og Mandino's wonderful book titled "The Greatest Salesman In The World" is the following paragraph: " Never has there been a map, however carefully executed to detail and scale, which carried its owner over even one inch of ground." A map - a blueprint leading to a goal - are wonderful tools, but the voyage always starts with a single step - the work itself.

So that first step, then another, then another, are the key to doing the work and succeeding. Time spent looking for, being tempted by, or working on silver bullets takes away from doing the work.

In today's economic environment it's tempting to look for shortcuts to getting ahead, to surviving, to get rid of the pressure, to making progress. It's important to believe there are no shortcuts - that perspiration creates inspiration, and time and energy spent trying to get around doing the work is a waste of time.

So be a victor, not a victim. Do the work and leave the "wishin and hopin and prayin" to others. You'll be more successful for it.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Use Goals To Stay In Play

Never has there been a more critical time to remind ourselves to "Stay In Play." There is so much bad news, so many bad numbers, so many gloom and doom forecasts that can suck the life right out of people, and take them right out of the game.

How often have you watched a sporting event, a political race, any other kind of competitive event, and felt that some of the participants were out of their league, lacking in skill, overmatched? And then, something happened, and those same people persisted, and eventually wore down their opponent, and went on to win. And even if they didn't win, they won. They gained respect - both self respect and respect from others - for doing the best they could do - and not quitting. Watching others "Stay In Play" is a real source of inspiration.

"Stay In Play" tells us just how important it is to press on, to take the next step, to develop the best possible solution, to make the next sales call, to play the next down, to serve the next serve, to stay in the game.

"Stay In Play" assumes that the game being played is the "right" one. Otherwise, it's a little like a quote from Tom Friedman - "If all you are doing is digging a bigger hole to get out of, stop digging!" In sports that's pretty obvious. In areas of life other than sports the games are a lot less likely to be seen the same way by all the players.

And that's where goals come in - both shared goals and personal goals.


Shared goals are defined as those made between groups that affect and require the participation of all the members. The group could be as few as two people, it could be as large as a corporation, church congregation, non - profit staff. Shared goals define the game, define what represents success, and define how individual effort aligns to achieve the shared goals. They keep groups from just digging a deeper bigger hole to have to climb out of. Without shared goals part of a team may be playing the organizational equivalent of soccer, while the rest of the team plays the equivalent of baseball. And the result is chaotic.

In tough times shared goals help enterprises of all sizes and shapes keep focus, keep group identity and optimize results.


Personal goals are even more important in tough times than in good times. In todays environment, where the talk and actions are of loss - loss of jobs, loss of wealth, loss of property, shared goals are important to our external, our organizational selves, but personal goals are critical to keeping our heads together. In good times it's easy to move with the flow, prosper and let shared goals be the measure of individual worth. In tough times, the flow may slow, or stop, or take a different direction. That job that had been so secure for the last ten years suddenly looks not so secure. The result often is fear, frustration and lack of commitment. Personal goals - the goals that identify what is most important to us - keep us on track even when the game may be changing, and we're not sure what that means. If the enterprise that has been the source of our identity should falter or fail, our personal goals keep us in play.

Take the time to ask yourself one question: What are the five most important things in my life that I can influence right now? Make your answers into personal goals. Then, like the player who may look overmatched and beaten, persist in achieving those five things. The chances are great that you will succeed. But even if that isn't the case, to have focused and striven to meet them will result in success when you have picked yourself up, dusted yourself off, and started over again.

Start today - tell yourself "Stay In Play" and keep telling yourself. Make it a habit of thought, and it will become a habit of success.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Victor or Victim - Your Choice

Right now it's tough to not feel like a victim. So many events seem to be beyond our control, and so many consequences of the decisions of others appear to have cost so many so much. It's an easy time to choose to blame others and let events just carry us along- the perfect example of a victim. And an awful lot of people will do that, and be the poorer for it. They will stop trying to swim upstream, and instead let the current carry them where it may, and they will feel out of control and blame it on things outside themselves. They are victims of events. And victims want every one else to be a victim too - it proves they're right about their own behavior. They will have chosen to be a victim - even though most would deny it.

Others choose to be victors. Faced with the same events and circumstances and consequences and outcomes as victims, they will continue to swim upstream - possibly more slowly and with more effort, but still working their way toward their goals. They know it may take longer, it may be tougher, but they choose to stand and fight, rather than let themselves be overcome by events. They take action - sometimes actions that seem so small - but they know that only action leads to results. And in doing that they often find opportunities that they couldn't have dreamed of, but exist because of the very circumstances that turn others into victims. As Steve Schiffmann says in his book Make It Happen Before Lunch, "dwell in possibility, there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened."

Victors are optimists, opportunists, takers of action.

I was talking to a publisher of a recently launched real estate investment magazine and she admitted the market is tough right now, and many people are holding off, sitting on cash, and taking a wait and see attitude. But others are looking for alternative forms of financing, taking advantage of what they see as bargains in the market, and continuing to work their goals. Even in what is described by the media as one of the most downtrodden of markets - real estate - littered with the failures of so many - others are working and prospering. They're victors - and they will be stronger and more successful for their efforts.

Remember the aftermath of Katrina? How some people pitched right in, started clearing brush and helping others, and doing what they could to start the process of rebuilding their lives and the lives of others. Under the most difficult of circumstances - these were people who had lost everything - they put their heads down and started with action - doing something, anything, to move forward. They're victors. I have no scientific proof, but I suspect those that showed that behavior ended up getting back on track faster, and moved forward on their life's path much more quickly than those victims who waited for help - and complained when it wasn't forthcoming as fast as they expected.

The media did a disservice in the aftermath of Katrina by focusing on the bad things - the late response, the lack of organization - and made it easier for people to be victims. After all, Anderson Cooper on CNN, among others, showed how screwed up the rescue efforts were. And how could an individual, a victim of Mother Nature and FEMA, be expected to make a difference? Many didn't feel they could make a difference, and I suspect those people may be still waiting for and expecting more help. Victims rarely win - they just serve as examples of how "they" - the system, the government, the neighbors - didn't take care of them. And a major word in the vocabulary of victims is " fair" - as if there was some obligation in life for things to be "fair" - whatever that means.

To be a victor requires courage, goals that keep them pointed toward where they want to go, and an understanding that they may not be able to control all the things that happen to them, but they sure can choose how they deal with them. Victors keep control of their responses. They have their bad days - weeks - months - but they persist. And in doing so they win in the game of life.

Regardless where you are right now, choose to grab ahold of whatever it is that you really want, set your plan to get it, and act. You'll be better for it - I guarantee it.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

Use SMART Goals To Get Through Tough Times

The most effective thing any of us can do right now is to focus on our goals - define them, refine them to reflect changing realities, test them to see if they remain realistic and relevant, and act to achieve them.

It's hard. The steady drumbeat of news - about the economy, about the elections, about man's inhumanity to man - delivered with passion by so many talking heads on the 24 hour news cycle, can really divert attention from the really important things.

Rudyard Kipling, in his poem "If" has a verse that reads:

"If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs,
And blaming it on you..."

The last verse of the poem reads:

"Then you will be a man, my son"

Rudyard Kipling lived from December 1865 until January 1936. Had he lived now I 'll bet the last line of "IF" would have read

"Then you will be a leader, my son or daughter"

An example of just how panic stricken and negative some people have become over current events showed up recently in a letter on the Wall Street Journal Op Ed page. It was written by a New York attorney who feels, while outward appearances remain the same, and people still consume $900 dinners at top restaurants, we as a nation are in denial. She feels that the US has lost its place in the world, that we are no longer the pre - eminent engine of commerce that we have been, that we will never regain it, that we are headed for economic disaster, and the reality of that has not yet sunk in. And while she admits she has no experience or expertise in things financial or economic, she writes that she was so upset by her conclusions that she got up at 2 AM to E Mail her mother to tell her to take all her remaining money out of the stock market and invest it in silver, or precious metals, or the mattress. Talk about losing your head! Unfortunately, she's got lots of company. Her emotional state has been affected by what is going on. It can be contagious - it is contagious. It's a contagion you want to avoid.

It's caused by FEAR - an acronym for "Fantasized Events/ Experiences Appearing Real."

And when FEAR sets in, people can be immobilized - or so mobilized that they feel they have to act - do something - anything - like the attorney telling her mother to act and put her money in silver - or in the mattress. I hope her Mom didn't follow that advice.

I read that Op Ed piece just before I took off on my daily 5 mile run/walk. Halfway through I realized I had spent my time thinking and worrying about politics, the impact of the next President, the impact of the credit crunch and sub prime loans. The realization that I was doing that made me stop - it made me ask myself what the hell was I doing? I was giving in to the contagion. I was working myself into a lather about things I had no control over, and not focusing my thought on the important things in my life. And I suspect I have a lot of company

How to overcome those negative emotions, avoid that contagion and move forward? SMART goals provide focus on the main things. Goals that are SMART, an acronym for Specific/Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant/Realistic, and Time framed can scrape us off the ceiling and keep us pointed in the right direction. The goals may have to be modified - no one should suggest that the events of today should be ignored - but isn't that a positive exercise in reality?

Replace the hysterical talk we hear on the news about having to live in our cars - about being unable to access our funds because the financial institutions have failed - about losing savings or jobs. We will be subjected to that kind of extreme negative news for a long time - it's what the media lives on. But for most of us, hanging in there, not giving in to despair and fear, not selling and putting what's left in the mattress, is the right thing to do.

Two pieces of advice that can help:

1 - In Og Mandino's book "The Greatest Salesman In The World" he advises when things are good, or bad, or indifferent - remember " This too shall pass." It's true. It's important not to let circumstances and events outside our control end up controlling our lives and causing us to make decisions on F.E.A.R., rather than on hard headed reality.

2 - Dale Carnegie, in "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" offers another piece of advice that is so relevant to today. He advises, when faced with stressful situations, to "Live life in daytight compartments." Live in today, and work in today, slam the doors shut on yesterday and tomorrow, and the future will take care of itself. With all the negative stuff swirling around, living in daytight compartments creates focus. And SMART goals help make sure the effort put into daytight compartments is focused on the important few.

Use goals to direct positive effort to the things that can be accomplished - and to finding and acting on the opportunities and possibilities that are sure to present themselves.

If you don't have SMART goals for yourself, take the time to develop them. It can be tough when you start, but focus only on the three to five most important things in your life. Watch the cloud of negativity and doubt be replaced with positive energy and the motivation to accomplish. Use your SMART goals to keep from letting events and people wear you down. Start today - it's the only daytight compartment you have.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com/

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved