My Number One Resolution For 2009

I'm not that great at keeping New Year's resolutions, but this one is going to stick - I promise. I resolve to wipe the F word "fair" from my vocabulary, from my thinking, from my emotions.

How did I arrive at this resolution?

The biggest reason is that "fair," in many of its form as an adjective, is for losers and whiners. And this blog is called "Multiply Your Success - and the use of "Fair" isn't going to make that happen.

There is no more overworked, misunderstood, manipulative, emotional word in our vocabulary than "fair." Politicians use it to create emotions, unions use it to advance their own ends - as do organizations, sales people use it to assure prospects that what they are presenting is good for everybody, people use it to describe what they see as not in their interests, leaders - well some leaders - use it to shift opinion to their side, whiners use it to complain without ever having to be clear about their grievance, let alone provide a solution.

The uses of the word are endless. Merriam Webster includes thirteen different definitions in its use as an adjective, and many more in its use as a noun. The one I like the most says "apparently favorable, but really false: fair (specious) words. "

What is "fair" is in the eye of the beholder - my fair and your fair may be worlds apart. It's possible we may be able, through communication and negotiation, to arrive at a "fair" solution - although the word more often serves as a barrier to effective communication. Or maybe the only thing "fair" is if you see things my way - or vice versa.

I know one thing about the word "fair"- when I hear it being used, I put my hands in my pockets to ensure no one can pick them.

In this last election cycle I heard so many "fairs" that I could gag. I heard it from both sides - "fair" is bipartisan. Anyone can use it - it's powerful, emotional, and fuzzy. Six year olds use it to express displeasure when Mom sends them to their room. And that six year old is not much different - and probably more accurate - than some of our candidates for public office.

It's a word that many use to get sympathy for loss - in its many forms. And it works - sometimes. But for every time it works, there's another time where it just shouts "loser" to those who hear it being used.

It's an entitlement word. I want my "fair share." Usually uttered by someone who has no more right to his or her "fair share" than the man on the moon. 'Fair's" a word that is often linked up with "rights" - like in "I got my rights to a fair share." Say's who?

"Fair" is a word that people use to try to get out of things. Right now the big flap here in Phoenix is about the use of electronic cameras on freeways to control speed. It's argued that their use is not "fair" - as if law enforcement was somehow more a game than a necessary fact of life in our lives. Do I have sympathy for the speeder clocked at 121 miles an hour in a 65 zone? Not really. But their attorney will defend them with at least one "not fair" argument - and they may win. Who said the law is rational? I'd like to see judges throw attorneys out of the courtroom for the use of the word. Except there wouldn't be enough attorneys left over to protect the rights of those treated "unfairly."

I think you get the picture. I ask you to join me in seeing that "fair" is put back where it belongs - as a noun. "I went to the County Fair," "she has a fair complexion" - although that one is borderline. After all, have you ever heard anyone being described as having an " unfair" complexion? But you get what I mean. Let's not get trapped into its use - as a word, as an emotion - as a way of judging. Let's take the world for what it is, and not try to make it what it isn't. Join me in resolving to eliminate "fair" from our thinking.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com ;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

There Is Plenty For Everybody - Share It

A friend sent me a story about Heaven and Hell and sharing. It just struck me as such a good example of why a belief that there is plenty for everybody and a behavior of interdependence represent the highest order of living. At this time of year, and at this time in our economy, it's worth reminding ourselves of that fact.

The story: A man died and went to see St Peter. He was offered the choice of Heaven or Hell. He told St Peter he'd like to see what they looked like before making his decision. St Peter led him to two doors. He opened one, and inside was a large table laden with food. Around the table were people, and all had long spoons strapped to their arms. The spoons looked to be useful for serving the food. Upon closer inspection, the man noticed that all the people looked half starved and emaciated - near death's door - despite the table of food before them. He noticed that the spoons, that had seemed so useful , were actually so long and so tightly bound to the people arms that they couldn't maneuver the spoons contents into their mouths. He watched people struggle to feed themselves, and all failed - while sitting at a table of plenty. St Peter said "This is hell."

St Peter then took the man to the other door. He opened it and the same scene presented itself. The same big table, the same huge quantity of food, the same spoons strapped to all the people's arms. The difference was that all the people in this room were smiling and laughing and talking, and all looked really well fed and healthy. Then the man noticed something different- he saw one person dip their spoon into the food, and then feed the person next to him! He then saw that person dip her spoon into the food and feed him. They had overcome the challenge of the too long spoons by feeding each other, and all got as much as they needed at this table of plenty. St Peter said "This is Heaven. "

The man chose to stay there - wouldn't you?

I have to admit, when I read the first part of the story, it didn't occur to me to think of feeding others as the means to being fed myself. My instinct is independence. That was on display in the Hell room.

In the Heaven room, sharing from the bounty - not giving it away, but sharing - is interdependence - that level of life that is so much more fulfilling than trying to go it alone - interdependence was on display in Heaven. And all who participated in it flourished. There was - indeed - plenty for everybody, but the key to unlocking that plenty was sharing.

At this time of year, and with all the negative news we receive, it's important to remember and practice sharing - acting to help others, sometimes without thinking of return in a material sense, but return in the thanks we receive - or the good feeling helping another can give.

The next time you have an opportunity to help someone, in any number of ways, remember the story of Heaven and Hell, and share. The rewards may not seem apparent at the time, but they are there.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved

How To Be A Top Contributor In Tough Times

In these times - tough times by anyone's measure - it's important to be seen as a contributor - a person who makes a positive difference in the success of their enterprise.

But having said that, when's the last time you read an article, or a book, on how to be a top contributor to any enterprise? Go in any bookstore and see the books on leadership - rows of them. No titles on being a contributor. And yet effective contribution results in most of the successes in any enterprise - just ask the leaders.

So what does it take to be a top contributor? We asked some of the most successful contributors we know. Here are their answers: ten Behaviors, Attitudes and Personal Skills of top contributors.

We offer these ten answers as a self inventory. As you read through answers, ask yourself where you see yourself on each of them.

1 - Top contributors do the work that's recognized as the most important work by their organization. They identify what is most important by creating mutually shared goals. The secret to effective contribution is doing the work that is most important - and ensuring that is where the focus is. None of the other nine items is even worth mentioning if the important work doesn't get done on time while meeting budget, performance, quality and other criteria. It's not a matter of accepting what needs to be done - that goes without saying. Do the important work and get the opportunity to be seen as a top contributor. This sounds so basic - but it's amazing how often it doesn't occur.

2 - Top contributors practice personal leadership through self discipline. Being on time; meeting commitments; knowing when and how to say no; focusing on work and letting the unimportant go; maintaining emotional control; are all behaviors of top contributors.

3 - Top contributors accept the culture for what it is and adapt to it - or get out. There is no bigger waste of time than trying to change what exists to meet personal expectations. Better to leave or accept the culture - as long as it doesn't require acting immorally, unethically, illegally or unsafely.

4 - It's not about you. Top contributors know personalizing decisions and thinking of them in terms of self is a great way to lose motivation and commitment. Let's face it, a lot of decisions will differ from what might be seen as optimal, but accepting decisions for what they are, not making them personal, and moving on to the next issue is top contributor behavior.

5 - Take pride in contribution. Top contributors are convinced of the importance of their work - if they weren't how could they possibly see the value of their accomplishments? It's like the story of the three bricklayers: when asked what they were doing, the first said he was laying brick; the second said he was helping build a school; and the third said he was participating in offering a better education to children through his best efforts. Which bricklayer best describes how you value your work?

6 - Be convinced that you have a gift to give - then give it. Top contributors don't ration their efforts. They focus, they operate at top speed, and they get more done than they realized they could. And the next time they're asked to climb that same mountain, it's not nearly as high as the first time. And they can look for more - whatever more means to them.

7 - Top contributors realize interdependence beats independence in accomplishing anything. Group effort can seem like a pain at the beginning, but a top contributor knows the pain comes before the gain. Focused effort by a group is so much more powerful than individual effort in almost all situations. Acquiring the Personal Skills to work effectively in collaborations is key to top contribution.

8 - Top contributors have high ideals, but maintain realistic expectations. Peter Senge - in The Fifth Discipline defines a cynic in this way : "Scratch a cynic and you will find an idealist, someone who made the mistake of letting their ideals become their expectations." Ideals are important - without them staying on course is impossible. But creating a failure scenario by making an ideal a goal is a sure recipe for frustration and a reduced sense of self worth.

9- Top contributors are fixers, not blamers. They know establishing accountability for things that go wrong is necessary for the future. But they are much more focused on solutions than on placing blame. They know solutions behavior promotes communication and learning while blame behavior promotes defensiveness and error avoidance.

10 - Top contributors use a combination of personal and organizational goals to frame their work and their lives. The closer the alignment between the different goal sets, the better. Contributors know relying on organizational goals to establish self worth and value is very limiting. Organizational goals can change unexpectedly and often - particularly in tough times. Personal goals, on the other hand, provide a "True North" perspective on what is really important.

Take the time, right now, to carefully look at your own contributions - and what can be done to increase your personal impact in your personal and organizational life. Then decide which of the Behaviors, Attitudes and Personal Skills of top contributors will help you achieve the success you want. Then act to make them happen - and watch 2009, even in the midst of tough times, be the best of times.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com;Website:www.coxconsultgroup.com; Blog: http://multiplysuccess.blogspot.com

Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved