How Do You Know When You've Quit?

How do you know when you quit? Sounds like a pretty stupid question! You know you quit when you stepped off the track without finishing the race -when you stopped doing something that you wanted to complete - when you resigned from a job that you wanted. Any number of actions - or lack of actions - tell you that you quit.

Not that quitting is necessarily bad. A poor fit in a job, an opportunity to move ahead in a different organization, physical illness or injury - all can be good reasons for quitting.

But there is another type of quitting that isn't so good. Cormac McCarthy, in his new bestseller The Road, has a quote that describes what I'm talking about. "When your dreams are of a world that never was or never will be and you are happy again, you will have given up."

What does that mean? Here's my interpretation. Dreams are funny things. They can inspire us, they can create successes. They can be a beacon for moving forward. They can lead to goals, action and accomplishment

But they can also be the source of false hope. When you catch yourself dreaming about what could have been, what should have been, or what might be, and those dreams occupy your mind, and you feel good about them - but no real action is taken to make them happen, you are in the act of quitting - of giving up.

Examples would be the person who dreams of winning the Lottery as the means to financial salvation, while continuing to dig a deeper financial hole for themselves. Or the sales person dreaming about how great it will be when he has new clients, but isn't doing the hard work of cold calling. Or the writer who dreams of her great novel and how good it will feel, but doesn't do the writing. Or the student who dreams of being a doctor, but doesn't do the academic work to get into college.

Rudyard Kipling, in his poem, IF, says, "If you can dream, but not let dreams become your master." What a perfect description of where dreams belong in our lives.

But often dreams do become our masters. It happens when they substitute for accomplishment and action. It happens when they allow us to feel good about the past, the present or the future, without having to deal with reality. And so we feel happy. And we've quit. And we probably don't even know it!

It's a habit of thought - this act of dreaming. That's good. Habits of thought can be worked with - replaced with new habits. It's hard, but success lies in self discipline, and the application of our considerable resources. Dreams without action take away from our bank of resources - they divert resources to what never was and never will be. It's like making a withdrawal with no value - like destroying our personal resources.

Review your own habits of thought. Ask yourself three questions: Do your dreams focus on the future - do they build on what has already happened - do they inspire you to action? If you can answer yes to those questions, good for you. If you answered no, focus your mental energies on the dreams that can happen - the world of possibilities. You can save a little corner of your thoughts and dreams for the improbable, but get to the place where your dreams result in yes answers to those three questions. You will achieve more, and who knows, those improbable dreams of the future may become more probable.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

Goals, Opportunities for Success and Paying Our Dues

What are the paths that come together to provide opportunities for success? How will we know when they come together? Will we be ready to recognize opportunity and act to succeed? What can we do to prepare for those opportunities? What does paying our dues really mean?

Here's a big part of the answer:

"It has been written that so much of life is preparation, so much is routine, and so much is retrospect that the purest essence of anyone's genius contracts itself into a precious few hours."

That quote is from "The Last Stand of the Tin Can Sailors" by James D Hornfischer. A book about the heroism of the small ships - destroyers and destroyer escorts - in the Battle of the Samar Sea in World War II. It's a true story of heroism, duty and honor. It's also a story of paying dues.


I hadn't thought about success in those terms, but so much of that quote speaks to success - in all parts of our lives. We all go through preparation, routine, and learning from our experiences and then, in a relatively small space of time, all that we are - our particular genius - comes together to contribute to our success. And, based on our willingness to seek out and accept opportunities, it happens again and again - and every time, the possibility of success is greater - based on the increase in our particular genius.



In sales, think of all the cold calls, all the presentations, all the demonstrations, all the lead chasing, and then, the opportunity to make a sale - and all the work done comes together to make that sale - or not. In either case, that event becomes preparation for the next opportunity, with a better chance of success - particular genius made good - made better. Dues paid.


In project teams, think of all the meetings, commitments, research, experiments, communications, proposals and presentations - and then the outcome that the particular genius of the team has created results in the successful completion of the project - and the seeds of particular genius increase for further success. Dues paid.


In people selection, think of all the recruiting approaches, process improvements, all the interviews, interview training and assessments, and then, the particular genius that results in the acquisition of the people needed to be successful. Dues paid.


In entertainment, think of a favorite singer or musical group - then think of all the rehearsal, all the one night gigs, all the travel, all the No's, that came before the hit song - the particular genius created by all those steps, and then success. Dues paid.



The story is told of Picasso sitting at an outdoor cafe' and being approached by a woman who asked him if he could draw a sketch of her. He did. It took five minutes. She asked how much she owed him. He told her $5000. Shocked, she protested it had only taken him five minutes. He corrected her - it had taken him 30 years to reach this place in his life as a painter. Dues paid.


How do we develop particular our genius - and pay the dues doing it?

We need to start with the end in mind - know where we want to go.

Get a dream, envision success, set goals, and then identify those things that will point us to our goals - in terms of preparation, learning from experience, taking care of the day to days - but always with the end in mind. Pointing our particular genius at what is important to us - and then focusing on that worthy goal. Doing that - keeping that focus - paying dues - creates success. Not doing that let's genius disperse over too many unimportant things - and causes it disappear in a flurry of busyness.

When our goals tell us that opportunity is in front of us- when our intuition has been honed by challenges and risks; by decisions made and their outcomes; by routine; by experience and preparation and by looking back as well as forward; then our particular genius puts us into action, and we succeed.

We succeed because we pay our dues to meet our goals - and in doing that we expand our particular genius.And paying them has nothing to do with how long we have lived, or how long we have been in a job, or how much seniority or time in grade we have. It has to do with focus on the important few, and placing proper value on the unimportant many.

Start today - check your own goals and how you use the routines, the preparation and opportunities in your own life. Check to see if what you do drives you toward the further development of your particular genius. Know that within you resides a genius unique to you. Bring it out - do it with goals, with preparation, and retrospect and routines - so that, when those opportunities occur, the outcome of your actions is success.

Written by Andrew Cox, President

4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved

The Biggest Challenge To Change - The Status Quo

Creating change, accepting change, making change work, being rewarded by change - all are resisted by that condition called the Status Quo. And most of the time we don't even realize it.


A story to illustrate my point:


I was out hiking in the Phoenix Mountain Preserve - one of my usual routes - and thinking about the subject of change. As I came to the place on the trail where I always stop and drink some water, and prepare for the climb forward, it hit me that every thing about this hike was predictable - and that felt good. But, at the same time, I had my eye on a distant trail that looked pretty challenging - but every time I thought about taking it, I would rationalize my decision by telling myself I didn't know where it went, I needed to get back in an hour, I had lots of alternatives that I had already discovered, ..... My feet kept me on the same old trails - every time. In my defense, I do have five different trails that I take at different times - it's not as if I only have one.


But I know people that have been hiking and jogging for years, who wouldn't thnk of trying a different trail.


With a conscious effort, I turned my feet to the new trail, and away I went. The desert is a funny place - it looks so blank -but it isn't. Go around a bend and a new view presents itself. Go further and a narrow trail to the top of a mountain shows up. A particularly beautiful tree or cactus - a saguaro with a really distinctive shape - a coyote that crosses the trail - all reward the senses when seen for the first time.


My exercise in challenging my personal status quo had a great reward - a new trail to add to my alternatives - a fresh view of an old friend that is full of surprises. And I had overcome my resistance to change - if only a little.


The status quo is a subtle enemy - it presents itself in little ways. And it presents itself day after day - it always will. And when the challenge of change is imposed on us, all those little acts that have reinforced the comfort of doing the same things the same way can keep us from accepting and benefiting from change - we see it is an intrusion on our comfort zone.


How to overcome the effect of the Status Quo? I challenge you to examine just one way you do things - it doesn't matter what. Then do it a different way - just to see what happens. And every day after that, try to seek out change in your own life. The practice of looking for and trying new ways can be one of the most powerful personal skills you can have. Honor the status quo - routines are important in every life, but routines can also create an illusion of comfort, and it is an illusion.


Another story:


I just finished checking the status of articles I post on www.submityour articles.com. I check to see how many views and downloads have taken place since I posted them. I noticed a symbol on my summary page - what could that mean? Inspired by my new quest to try different things, I clicked on it. The result? I found a way to check statistics on all my articles more quickly. Wow - that's neat! A little triumph in my ongoing battle to challenge my personal Status Quo.


Try it yourself - do it today - it will enrich your life. Look for those little discoveries that can make life, careers, relationships that much more meaningful. It will prepare you for those inevitable changes that hit all of us - sometimes without warning - and make dealing with them an advantage, rather than a threat.

Written by Andy Cox, President

Cox Consulting Group LLC, 4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032 Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800, E Mail: acox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: http://www.coxconsultgroup.com/

Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved