I have developed a series of beliefs in my mind that guide my behavior and my feelings and emotions. Those beliefs are based on a lot of things – experience, teaching, emotions, conditioning, – the one thing they are not based on is the truth. They are all mine -my beliefs – regardless how far from the truth they may be.
An example – I have always thought I have skinny arms. My forearms are 14” and my biceps are 15” – not huge, but not skinny. And yet, to me they are not nearly large enough. I feel like I am a small man – but I am 5’10” tall and weigh 190 pounds. Not huge, but not small. What creates my beliefs of being a small person with skinny arms? I’ll bet you have some of the same beliefs – neck too long, legs too short, butt too big, butt not big enough, 12 pack hiding a six pack , too skinny, too fat -----.
Most of these kinds of personal beliefs are harmless – but others can make or break our success in life. Peter Senge in his book The Fifth Discipline talks about the two beliefs most of us have in some measure that affect our ability to perform. These beliefs – I call them worms because they can be so imbedded in our mind – can lead to failure in our lives. And yet, the worms are not the truth. The two beliefs/worms that are so critical are: “I am not able”, and “I am not worthy”. Chances are one or both affect you – they affect at least 70% of the population!!
Dan S Kennedy, in his book No Rules, 21 Giant Lies for Success, talks about the insurance salesmen who gather on Monday morning for the weekly motivation meeting. They leave fired up to get sales, but most return on Thursday or Friday with their tails between their legs - unsuccessful in making sales. The unsuccessful ones started with their conscious mind full of positive affirmations, but with their subconscious throwing out the anchor of “I’m not able” and/or “I’m not worthy” to slow them down. And the result was that regardless how hard they worked with their conscious affirmations, the beliefs kept them from succeeding. The first time they hit rejection, their worms were there to confirm their beliefs. Their beliefs made them their own worst enemy – no one else could even come close.
So how do you overcome these worms so you can be successful. How do you become your best friend? First, you become aware of what your mind is telling you. What conversations are you having in your mind? Are you convinced that you can and will succeed? Or do you have this nagging feeling that – well – maybe this is a real stretch, and maybe I can’t do it. When you sense that kind of internal conversation, you’re on your way to overcoming the negative beliefs that have been holding you back. Once you identify them, realize they are all yours. They are your conclusions – and they are not the truth. You’ve been your own worst enemy. Challenge the negative belief - it's not the truth – replace it with a positive belief. Become your best friend. It is done every day of the week by people that discover their own value and worth, and throw out their own old, inaccurate ideas of themselves. Do it today – you are as able to do it right now as you ever will be. Help your internal beliefs align with your affirmations and watch yourself grow.
Written by Andrew Cox, President
Cox Consulting Group LLC
4049 E Vista Drive, Phoenix, AZ 85032; Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: andycox@coxconsultgroup.com; Website: www.coxconsultgroup.com
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