Toxic Behaviors

Toxic Behaviors, and What To Do About Them


My father used to tell me ‘ If you don’t have something good to say about someone, don’t say anything”. Have you ever heard similar advice? Have you ever violated that advice? Has violating that advice ever cost you a friend, a relationship, a business deal, a job, or a positive referral or reference? You may have answered yes to the last question, or you may have answered no. But many people would be more inclined to say” I don’t know whether or not some negative comment may have cost me, and if it did, so what?”

I used to work with a person who would bring negative comments to me that he said were made by other people – and he was simply the messenger. He would say something like “So and so said you really made a stupid decision on that last ---------” And I would respond with something like “What the hell does he know?”

Of course, the bearer of the message would go back to the other person and dutifully report what I had said about him. This person never told people things that were not true, and yet he caused extensive damage to interpersonal relationships in that organization. And he did it through attribution – telling others what people had said about them – the fact that he had initiated the conversation that resulted in the juicy little negative tidbit was never part of his conversation.

If ever I had needed to listen to my father’s advice, it was when I was engaged in conversation with this person. Have you ever met and dealt with someone who did the same thing? There seem to be these types in every organization – avoiding them is difficult – recognizing them as toxic is difficult – and dealing with the fallout of their feedback is almost impossible. These are the truly toxic personalities that inhabit every company – they can be very good at their jobs, they are often seen as excellent sources of information, and they are often considered real players in the organization. After all, all they are doing is repeating what has been said to them, and what can be wrong with that?

I got smart about my relationship with this person. When I found out what he was doing with the results of our conversations, I was really angry and distrustful of him and wanted to confront him. Then I came to my senses and decided the only thing he had done was to repeat comments I had made to him, and shame on me if I continued to provide him with information he could pass on. I did what I should have done in the first place – I stuck to business in my conversations with him; I did not discuss personalities; and I let him know that I had no further interest in hearing negative comments others had made about me – they served no purpose other than to cause negative feelings. He was OK with that and we maintained a constructive working relationship. Would I ever trust him? No – there was too much mistrust of his use of confidential information for that. But wh0
said an effective working relationship required friendship? In many cases, the two are far apart, and that’s OK

I have had the opportunity to work with many people in helping them develop their management and leadership skills. The successful leaders all – without exception – have been people who confront and correct behavior issues by dealing directly with the person who is exhibiting the questionable behavior. The successful leaders do not discuss with others the specifics of the discussions they have had, and they take great care to not provide negative information for the story carriers in their organizations. And you can be sure that they know there are story carriers in their organization – that is a given. What the successful leaders will do is seek out constructive counsel, advice, and observations that can assist in the fixing of the behavior. And in so doing they become better prepared for dealing with this particular issue as well as with similar issues that will come up in the future. In following these steps, the successful leader is establishing trust in the organization in his or her ability to lead. People both recognize and appreciate an approach that provides the opportunity to improve and grow and overcome mistakes and failures. People will follow a leader that provides that kind of behavioral example and do whatever is needed to get the job done. In organizations where the grapevine or indirect approach is used – where the person being talked about is the last to know – where the use of gossip and innuendo is tolerated – and even perhaps encouraged, there can be little trust. The result is an organization that avoids making mistakes – that spends an inordinate amount of time on personalities rather than results – that is poorly leveraged – that suffers high turnover among the most effective people, and becomes a home for toxic behaviors that spend more and more of the organization’s time on non productive, destructive and low leverage issues.

Here is a little self-test to help you see if you live in an organization that could use improvement in how it deals with individual behavior issues:

1 -Do you find yourself in discussions about an individual’s behavior that are negative, and the individual is not present?
2 - Do you find yourself in conversations that deal with behaviors rather than results?
3 - Do you know someone in your organization who is the butt of jokes? Someone who is treated with derision and disdain?
4 - Do you find yourself slipping into the habit of discussing negative behavior issues about others as one of the first things brought up in a conversation?
5 - When you attend meetings, is there an “Object Ball” – someone that everyone gangs up on, in those meetings?
6 - Is action to correct a behavior issue more a matter of complaining without action than of taking direct action?

If you can answer Yes to any of these questions, your organization needs to change its approach if it wants to leverage its people assets. How do you change this kind of behavior? Here are some key action items and observations.

1 – You can only change how you deal with others – not how they deal with you. Start by promising yourself that you will not be party to the kind of negative discussions and behaviors that exist in the organization

2 - If you have a person that is not performing, take action – NOW!! Work to get them to at least meeting standards, and if that can’t be done, then they have to leave. To not act is to sow the seeds of discord and distrust. As a leader, the most important thing you can do is to see that your people trust your people judgments and actions!!

3 – Create a positive, results oriented work environment in your workgroup – take the lead in discouraging negative discussion of others

4 – Distance yourself from the negative and toxic people – you know who they are. Create with them a “work only” relationship.

5 – You don’t need to become the champion of the downtrodden and the under performers – in most cases they have created their own problems by their own actions. What you do need to do is reject the” behind the back” behavior that people can exhibit - it is behavior that diminishes everyone who comes in contact with it.

6 – Start today – don’t wait for someone else to take the lead – leadership in this kind of area is a very personal thing – to the extent that you exhibit positive, constructive, results oriented behavior, you will be looked at as a leader – both in your own eyes and in the eyes of the leadership of your organization.

7 – Develop the skill of Constructive Confrontation – of being able to confront behavior and performance issues directly and in a way that allows all parties to maintain effective working relationships.

Remember, the top 10% in an organization are results and opportunity oriented, the negative 10% in an organization are consequence and personality focused, and the 80% in between can be heavily influenced in their behavior either way. Toxic behavior has a way of spreading in an organization and influencing behavior that can reduce leverage and create an ineffective workplace.

Start now to improve your organization – or to preserve a positive atmosphere when signs of toxic behavior start to appear.

Essentials to Hiring the Best

Essentials To Hiring The Best

The Essentials to Hiring The Best is based on the successful beliefs, attitudes and processes of organizations who have made selection a core competency of their business. “Hiring” includes all people selections – promotions, transfers, team appointments, as well as new hires.

Essential 1: Every opening is seen as an opportunity to improve the organization.
Successful organizations view selection as an opportunity, and as a core people competency. The essentials, in order to be fully and effectively implemented, require the belief that every selection is an opportunity to improve the organization..

Essential 2: A sense of urgency exists on every open position.
If the belief is that an opening is an opportunity for the organization to improve, then every day that it remains unfilled takes one more day away from the potential improvement.

Essential 3: The selection process is front end loaded.
Take the time to develop what the position needs rather than have the applicant pool make that decision for you. A well planned and developed position requirement and process create the conditions that make the selection process proceed faster, better and at less cost in time, energy and money.

Essential 4: On every opening but true entry - level positions, first consideration is given to current employees.
First consideration to existing employees is a priority and the process of consideration is made as transparent as possible. Nothing encourages retention, accomplishment and high quality referrals more than the knowledge that opportunities to get ahead exist.

Essential 5: Time and money and effort are not used as indicators of success or effectiveness in selection.
4 to 6 evaluative interviews by skilled people with clear knowledge of the position and specific goals for their interviews can an should be the basis for most selections.

Essential 6: Every opening has a process driver.
What does that mean? A process driver is someone who keeps the sense of urgency at a high level; pushes the hiring manager; and coordinates the process to see that the opportunity to select does not get put on the backburner. This accountability requires an aggressive, sense of urgency person. Without this person and this accountability, selection can and will fall through the cracks, or result in a less than optimum decision.

Essential 7: The Hiring Manager is the decision maker in the hiring process. At the end of the day, and after all the other inputs are in, the hiring manager is the person responsible for deciding on who the selection will be. The hiring manager is also accountable for the results of the hiring decision.

Essential 8: Managers and interviewers are skilled in selection tools and techniques.
The people involved in the selection process are skilled evaluative interviewers who have defined roles and goals in the interview and selection cycle Intuition is an essential part of any selection decision, but intuition needs to be enhanced through personal and organizational preparation and understanding of what is being looked for in a candidate. Many solid candidates have been turned down because of misunderstandings over position requirements and personal non - job related biases.
This kind of development is not limited to understanding the law – which is important. It includes having the tools and techniques to ask penetrating questions, understand behavior signals and focus on accomplishment and achievement as the basis for coming to a conclusion and recommendation.

Essential 9: Assessments are a critical part of the selection process and are used to provide critical support information to the perceptions and recommendations of the interviewers.
The use of assessments to develop a picture of what are called “personal skills, attitudes and behaviors” is a very high leverage part of the selection process. Most people do not fail in their positions because of a lack of formal training, education, experience or skill, but because of less obvious issues – and most of those issues revolve around their ability to work with and through people, and build effective working relationships. Assessments are a powerful tool to answer behavior, attribute and attitude questions.

Essential 10: If a mistake is made, it is fixed as soon as possible.
Even the best of processes result in a mistake being made from time to time. In the best of processes, the mistake is identified and action to correct it is taken as soon as the mistake is determined. Selection decisions that don’t work and aren’t dealt with decisively have a way of infecting an organization, and reducing morale and effectiveness.

Essential 11: Reference checks are an absolute in every selection – internal or external.
On new hires, educational records are always checked and the hiring manager always checks with former bosses. This is a more specific recommendation than the others in this article. But it is such a commonly ignored and critical thing to do that it needs to be included.

Essential 12: A commitment to the success of the person selected is made.
When someone is selected, as much effort is spent helping them be successful as was spent on the selection process. There is no tolerance for the old “throw them up against the wall and see if they stick” attitude toward selection. Careful selection creates a commitment to making the person selected successful – while evaluating the person’s performance at the same time.



Cox Consulting Group LLC; Ph: 602-795-4100; E Mail: CoxConsulting@msn.com; Fax: 602-795-4800.

Stages of Change

The Stages of Change, and How To Use Them For Success

There is a saying –“The only constant is change.” It’s true. What’s also true is the existence of the same four stages in every successful change process, whether that change is a corporate wide initiative, or the introduction of a new management team or leader, or an information system change, or an individual looking to lose ten pounds. While the scope and complexity and value of changes can vary, the stages remain the same – always – everywhere – they do not change. You can ignore the four stages – at your peril; you can resign yourself to them and let them happen – at your peril; or you can plan for and maximize the value of the four stages. The choice is yours – and it is a choice. How can you make them work for you? Read on to see where your organization’s projects and change initiatives fit in the Four Stages, and to see how the Keys To Success can make each of the Stages work for you.

The Four Stages

These Four stages always occur in this order – and they always occur – at least in changes that are successful. In unsuccessful changes, Stage Two is the place where failure most often occurs.

Stage One – Start Up. In any change process Stage One involves the expectations of the architects of change – how much more effective we will be; how much more market share we will get; how much better information flow we will have; how much better we will look. This is the stage where opportunity is identified and turned into action. The expectations have a few things in common: they are seen as improving the enterprise, they all require some degree of change, they are optimistic and aggressive in their time frames for completion, and they assume they will be successful. Often, aggressive goals are set that assume a best possible case scenario for completing the project. This step is characterized by a high level of enthusiasm and commitment and energy and ownership on the part of the architects of the change.

Stage Two - Frustration. In this stage things are not working out as planned, the end result may take longer than expected, certain critical resource requirements were not planned or budgeted. People begin to see that their initial expectations for the project are not going to happen. Resistance to the changes is occurring, although the resistance is usually not obvious. This is the place where energy starts to be lost; schedules start to slip; people start to bail out – this is the danger stage. Frustration replaces optimism. Questions about the value of the change, the need for it and the “how did I get here? “ question are heard. This is the stage where most projects fail – or even worse than that, flounder along sucking up resources and time before finally disappearing.

Stage Three – Renewal. Out of the experiences of Stage Two comes a revised set of expectations and requirements. People who have stayed the course begin to take leadership in getting the project back on track. The resources dedicated to completing the project will be different from the resources that were originally planned. Energy will begin to be directed to getting things done, rather than complaining about what has not been done. This is the Stage where the lessons of Stages 1 and 2 are put to use in reestablishing the change process. This is the critical place for the leadership of the organization to get things back on track – in many cases using a redesigned track. This is where listening skills are at a premium. At this stage, enough experience and feedback is available to allow an assessment of cost/reward and what it is going to take to get the project completed successfully. People become more aware of what needs to be done. Goals are revised, budgets reviewed and changed, decisions on whether or not to proceed are made. This stage is characterized by renewed effort, energy and commitment and a feeling that the process of change is moving forward. The leadership skills and behaviors required for this stage may be different than those needed when the project first started. Hope replaces frustration and positive energy replaces negative thoughts.

Stage Four – Success. The project/initiative is now meeting or exceeding the Stage Three goals and is beginning to provide the return on investment that was envisioned in Stage One. Things are going well, there is a good feeling about where the project is headed and how the project can contribute to the continuing success of the enterprise. Effort is being rewarded with results. Tangible improvements are growing out of the effort being expended. People can sense that the project has moved along and has positive momentum. Recognition for jobs well done occurs. Little successes are becoming big successes. Metrics are looking good and major parts of the project are completed. People start going home before their families are in bed. The Boss is happy with his vision being implemented.

Wouldn’t it be great if that was the way most projects and initiatives work – with successful outcomes that meet the expectations of the organization and its leadership. Many do - but many don’t. Let’s review the Keys To Success to see how success can be assured.

Keys To Success In Every Stage

Key One-The first Key in creating a successful change initiative is to understand that all Four Stages will occur, unless the project dies or founders in Stage Two, and they will occur in the same order every time. Understand that the Four Stages have a life of their own, and nothing you can do will change that. Once you realize that, you can plan to minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive effects – but never forget or ignore the fact that all Four Stages will occur. If you accept that fact you can make them work for you.

Key Two. Always, at every Stage, ensure accountability and responsibility are clearly spelled out and understood.

Keys To Success in Stage One - Startup

Key –Planning and Preparation. This is where strategy and vision must be communicated by the leadership of the organization, so that goals and expectations and accountability can be defined. If you pride yourself on a “Ready, Fire, Aim” approach, then plan the goals and review steps to create early opportunities for constructive feedback on the “Fire” step and its results. Front end load the process, and the time invested will yield the maximum results. Failed projects start with faulty planning in Stage One, but that doesn’t become evident until the project is mired in Stage Two – and possibly stuck so badly it cannot be renewed.
Key – The selection of the leaders and team members that will start the project is critical – and the blending of behaviors and attitudes and technical and soft skills will ensure success – or jeopardize the project from the beginning. Realize that Stage One leadership requirements may be very different from what is needed in Stages Two, Three and Four – and prepare for that. Good selection at this stage can overcome a lot of other shortcomings. Poor selection can screw up the best plan – without a doubt!
Key -Involvement and Communication. The more the formation of the initiative can be communicated the better. To the extent that the people who will do the work and be effected by the change participate in and are convinced of the value of the project, the greater the probability of creating champions in the organization who will stick with the project through the rough times.
Key -Always maximize Stage One, no matter how tempting it may be to shortcut. The initial energy and commitment generated in Stage One can carry the project for a long time. This is the point where goals need to be established that define and measure success. Plan regularly scheduled reviews so you can keep access to the project without appearing to be acting only on negative exceptions.
Key –Celebrate small successes. Design the project so the steps along the path can be recognized and rewarded – for many people, rewards while on the journey are essential to continued motivation. Recognize that individuals may not have the capability to see the progress of the entire process, but they need feedback on how they are contributing.

Keys To Success In Stage Two – Frustration

Key – Leadership. This is where leadership in the organization must remain fully supportive and sustain effort and attention – people respond to what they believe is important to the Boss.
Key – Problem Solving Attitude and Behavior. As things go wrong – and some always do, even in the best planned situations, the insistence on a “How do we fix it” behavior, and the discouraging of a “Who do we blame” behavior is critical to maintaining or renewing positive energy.
Key– Know there will be a Stage Two, regardless how well planned Stage One may be, and be prepared to confront it and deal with it as soon as it becomes evident.
Key -Understand that the people in the project will know when it is in Stage Two, although they may not be able to identify it in those terms long before The Boss knows it. Keep communications “unfiltered” to allow “Early Warning” as soon as possible.

Keys To Success In Stage Three – Renewal

Key -A periodic reporting structure addressing the goals of the project creates structure for people to communicate not only accomplishments, but concerns and issues as well. As one top manager called them – the “Opportunities and Jeopardies” sessions.
Key– Openness and Trust – to the extent the organization feels it can communicate the truth as it knows it without fear of reprisal, the status of the project will be accurately given. Design into the project an “unfiltering” process that provides information access to the people doing the work. Don’t shoot messengers and don’t “layer“ feedback. Regularly scheduled status meetings with the project participants will help ensure timely feedback.
Key – Treat this as a problem solving stage, where review and amendment are a necessary part of maximizing the effectiveness of the change initiative. Treat this Stage as a normal part of the process, and not as an exception based on failure of planning or individual effort or competence.
Key – Communicate the expectancy and commitment that the project or initiative will succeed. Most failures occur within sight of the finish line. Now is the time to sustain effort

Keys To Success In Stage Four – Success

Key – Reward, reward, reward. People need to be recognized, and as the benefits start to flow to the organization, recognition, bonuses, time off, promotions, are all appropriate to both reward performance and to establish the climate for commitment on future changes.
Key– Create a systems approach to the project. Review the project to use knowledge gained on future project or projects.
Key – Keep everyone’s eye on the ball. Celebration is great, but not at the price of reduced effort while in sight of the finish line. Keep at it until it is done. This will require a different behavior set than the one that started the change – now is the time for the behaviors that “stick to it” to be recognized and rewarded.
Key – Goals. Keep them in front of everyone, and communicate their completion as they occur – use accomplishment for positive leverage in future changes.

Use the Keys to ensure the success of your change projects – and add to the Keys those steps that have worked in your organization to increase the competitive advantage for your organization



The Cox Consulting Group LLC. Ph: 602-795-4100; Fax: 602-795-4800; E Mail: CoxConsulting@msn.com

26 Truths

26 Truths In Building Your Career

The “26 Truths” are a compilation of beliefs, best practices and practical advice we have gained from work with many top leaders. We offer them as a guide as you go about the business of building your career, and helping others build theirs.

• In a new position, three things you must do right away: 1 - get to know your boss and his expectations; 2 - take action on an issue that you inherited and fix it; 3 - identify the universe of people and processes that impact you and your people’s work, and get to know and respect that universe.

• Regardless how hard you try, people will not see things the same way you do. Get over it and look for the common ground and understanding that always exists.

• The ability to separate your emotions while evaluating the actions of others, and not take those actions personally, is absolutely critical to effective decision - making.

• The only security any of us have is the security provided by our accomplishments. Being open to change maximizes the opportunities for accomplishments.

• Seek out mentors and keep seeking them out throughout your career. And then become a mentor yourself.

• Learn to understand how your behavior impacts others and is seen and judged by others. The better you understand yourself the better you can understand and work with others.

• Listening skills are essential to understanding and effective communication. Listen at least 70 % of the time. No one ever learned very much while they were speaking!

• The ability of an organization’s people to support and embrace change is the biggest single source of competitive advantage in any organization. Behavior change is the most challenging and the highest leverage form of change in any organization.

• The middle 80 to 90% of the people in any organization represent the biggest single opportunity for increased competitive advantage - and the most challenging opportunity as well.

• 90 to 95 % of the answers to any organization’s issues lie within the people in the organization – getting that “collective genius” to work is both a challenge and a source of huge competitive advantage.

• Replacing assumptions with expectations is critical to success – and it is done through the establishment of goals that align individual and group effort with organizational goals.

• In successful organizations, every selection – be it a hire, a promotion, a transfer or a team assignment, is seen as an opportunity to improve the organization.

• Clear goals, a plan for reaching them complete with a timetable, and action are the essential ingredients to achieving success. While the goals must be your own, they must also align with the goals of your employer.

• Small changes lead to big changes. Identify the big change demands – then start with incremental change. The important thing is to ACT!!

• Creating and maintaining positive relationships with people is the most important behavior in determining your success. The development of Personal Skills so that you have the competency to work effectively with people is absolutely necessary, regardless of your career.

• In answer to the question “ If you could go back in your career and do more of something, what would it be?” – every leader said “FOCUS”.

• 30% of the population thinks in terms of opportunities: 70% thinks in terms of consequences. Opportunity people and consequence people can have a really hard time dealing with each other. Yet both are absolutely essential to any enterprise – creating synergy between their behaviors creates competitive advantage.

• There is nothing more devastating to people than to have their leader communicate by his/her actions that not too much is expected from them. Low expectations are the cause of low performance. Communicating high expectations and then working to meet them is the single most motivating thing that can be done for people.

• Assumptions are the enemies of trust. Whenever possible, replace assumptions with clear expectations and goals. In doing so you will create the path to trust.

• Time is a variable – based on the level of trust you have with your boss and your organization and your “universe “ of people. The higher the level of trust you have with your universe the more freedom you have to use your time for the important, high leverage things that will move your career ahead.

• Trust comes from meeting and exceeding your commitments, expectations and goals, and keeping your word – there are no other ways to get and keep trust.

• Hard work is absolutely necessary – nothing can replace it. But remember to measure the effect of your effort in results, not in time spent. Some of the most effective people are those who spend the most time at work, and some of the most ineffective people are the ones that spend the most time at work!!

• Associate with successful people. Learn from the people who have succeeded. Define success in your own terms.

• Energy is a developable resource – physical condition, passion, a positive attitude and success will all positively influence your level of energy.

• Make up your mind that doing a few things very well and completely is better than doing a lot of things average – pick out your passions and pursue them, but not too many passions at any one time.

• Three behaviors absolutely fatal to any career are: procrastination, passive-aggressiveness, and confusing intentions with results.

If you have any suggestions for additional Truths to add to this list, we would really like to hear from you!!

Keys To Success In New Positions

Keys To Success In New Positions

Every new position, be it a promotion, a transfer, or a move to a new organization brings with it a new set of challenges and opportunities to succeed, be recognized, make more money, achieve goals, and on and on. The one constant every new position brings is change – change in your “Universe of People”; change in the skills required to do the job; change in relationships with former peers, bosses, subordinates; change in accountabilities; and change in how the assumptions and behaviors you have developed will work in this new situation.

This article deals with people issues – experience has shown that the key to success in any leadership role is based on effective people relationships and skills. Obviously, the technical skills and knowledge of industry, function and business are critical as well, but research clearly points to interpersonal skills as the key to success.

The purpose of this article is to help you identify critical relationship and behavior issues you will face in your new position and how to deal with them.

Essential One – How you establish your relationship with your boss is critical – don’t leave it to chance, or circumstances, or to your boss. Be proactive, and do not assume you and your boss are on the same wavelength – chances are you are not – and chances are neither of you are aware of that!
Solution: Write down the top three to five measurable things that you believe will create success in your position - ask your boss to do the same – then compare notes. Hint: agreement on two out of five when you first compare notes is fairly typical!!

Essential Two – Never assume the people that are working with you, for you or above you see things the same way you do – because they don’t. Every single person brings a set of skills, attitudes and behaviors different from every other person, and they will see everything through that lens – and it is different from yours. Perhaps not a lot different, but even little differences can result in big misunderstandings.
Solution: Changing the way people see things is very difficult. Creating a commonly understood set of results that all can contribute to and identify with isn’t easy, but it creates a sense of unity and purpose and direction and alignment of effort that overcomes the perception differences. Goals create understanding and direction and expectations.

Essential Three – Your expectations are different from the expectations of your boss, your staff, and the people that provide advice, counsel and support.
Solution: Express your expectations and be ready to modify and negotiate them – clear expectations between you and your “universe at work” are critical to success. The best way to express expectations is as goals that are consistent with and aligned with your organization’s goals. No more than three to five at a time!! And if your organization does not have goals to align with – and it is amazing how many do not – then set them up in your area of responsibility with visibility to your boss, peers and the people who report to you.

Essential Four - You expect people to behave in certain ways, based on your attitudes, behaviors and values; and they expect you to behave in certain ways – based on their attitudes, behaviors and values. You will all be disappointed to find that the behavior you observe is not what you expected.
Solution: Deal with results; every time you see a behavior that is not consistent with your own, reserve judgment and ask if it meets the needs and the goals of your organization. Remember solutions can come in lots of different wrappers, if you let them.

Essential Five – The only behavior you can control is your own – if you think you can control the behavior of others you are either kidding yourself or spending so much time looking over their shoulders that you cannot do your job! The corollary to this is since you can only control your own behavior, you can only influence the behavior of others through how you act. People tend to return what they observe they are getting.
Solution: Make a choice and realize that you will be treated the way you treat others – in 95% of the cases. There is an old saying” How you act shouts so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying.” Take advantage of the tools that are available that can give you a better understanding of yourself as the first step toward more effective interactions with others.

One more suggestion: When you start your new position, ask around and find out what problems need to be fixed. If you ask, you will be amazed how quickly you will find an opportunity to fix a problem of long standing while developing the trust and credibility that you need to succeed. And remember, the highest form of personal security comes through your accomplishments.

People relationship issues are the most challenging issues you will face in your career. They are also the most rewarding and the ones that can provide the highest leverage and the most opportunity to succeed. Work on building personal excellence in the people part
of your work – it has universal application for you!

Essentials To Success in Change

Seven Essentials To Ensure Success In Change

Seven Essentials To Ensure Success In Change is about changing our Behavior– the most challenging and difficult kind of change to make, but also the most rewarding – in many ways. We are not dealing with the act of acquiring something – hundreds of millions of dollars worth of exercise equipment is gathering dust because the people that bought the equipment did not follow through with goals, action, persistence and determination to make real differences in their behavior.

The Four Stages of Change

These four stages occur in every successful change initiative - from losing ten pounds, to the adoption of new ways of doing business, to working with a new boss or new owners. Remember them and use them for your success.

Stage One – Enthusiasm – This stage is characterized by high energy, commitment, high expectations and aggressive goals. This is the stage driven by opportunity and the commitment to meeting aggressive goals.

Stage Two – Frustration – This stage is characterized by a reduction in enthusiasm, frustration with dates and goals missed or delayed, the beginning of friction and blaming, the stage where energy declines and initial commitment is questioned.

Stage Three – Renewal – This is the stage where the lessons of the first two stages help create an experience - based set of goals and expectations that lead to success. This is where individual leadership and determination and persistence take center stage and create a renewed energy and commitment.

Stage Four– Success –In this stage success becomes the norm rather than the exception. Goals are being met; the lessons learned from the first two stages are being applied; and things are looking good. Celebration of big successes arising from small successes begins. Evaluation of the process for use in future projects occurs.

Seven Essentials To Ensure Success In Change

The following Essentials are the behaviors that will ensure success for you in any change process or project or initiative. They are not easy – but working to adopt these behaviors will create success for you.

Essential #1 – Persistence and determination – nothing will support personal and professional change more than your own determination to see the process to its successful end – and your persistence to “Press On” through all four stages.

Essential #2 – Choice - while many changes are beyond our control, we always, and I mean always, have the freedom to choose how we will deal with and respond to change. This is the most important belief you can have – how you act and respond is up to you. To the extent that you embrace change and accept it and see it as being helpful to you, you will prosper – in many ways.

Essential #3 – Set yourself up to succeed. Big successes start with a series of small successes. The big picture may be fuzzy, but you can establish goals and expectations for yourself that will lead you toward success. In setting up realistic, time measured, specific, results driven goals we can celebrate small successes on the way to big success. It is essential for our own energy and motivation to do that.

Essential #4 – Replace judging behavior with evaluation of results. Judging is one of the worst behaviors we can practice. Why? As individuals we share the same behavior profile with no more than 10% to 20% of the population. When we judge others based on behavior, we are judging based on how we would do something, not how others may do it, and we stand the chance of being wrong 80% to 90% of the time!! Create a results - driven climate to help ensure evaluation is based on performance to goals and expectations.

Essential #5 – Replace assumptions with expectations. Just like judging based on behavior, we will be wrong about 80% to 90% of the time if we assume that others hear things the same way we do, or see them the same way, or interpret them the same way . Create expectations – communicate them – or communicate your understanding of them – and clear away a lot of the “fog” that gets in the way of creating the results necessary for success.

Essential #6 – Communicate – communicate – communicate. When you think you have communicated enough, communicate some more. Identify the “universe” of people that you work with; that you work for; that work for you; that support your work; and whose work you support. Create channels of communication with all of them. The more trust you create through communication with your “universe”, the more time you will have to meet your goals and the goals of your organization.

Essential #7 – ACT!!! All the plans and communications and intentions mean nothing if you do not act to meet requirements. Act today – keep your head in today – accomplish goals today, and you will be successful.

Remember this: The only security any of us have – individually, professionally or collectively, is in our own accomplishments. The more we embrace change and make it work for us, the more opportunities for accomplishment will be offered to us, and those accomplishments are our greatest source of success and security.

Procrastination - Part 1 - Tomorrow

Procrastination - the Number 1 Success Killer

Part1 - The Tomorrow Syndrome
Nothing, nothing at all, will screw you up more than putting off until tomorrow the important things you know must be done today.
If "Tomorrow", "I meant to get it done", "I have so many other things to do"," When does it have to be done", "It is never too late", "I need more information - facts - statistics", "It has to be perfect", " I am afraid it will not be good enough" blah, blah, blah, are part of your own internal communications, you are a procrastinator, and you will not succeed to the extent your abilities, personal and technical skill sets, education and energy would otherwise allow you to succeed.
Every day we all see people with average abilities and education and all the other measures we use to qualify our fellow human beings, succeeding while other much more "qualified" people stay in place, or slide back, or make less progress than the less endowed. What's the difference?

Procrastination is a major culprit.

I suggest that the successful live in today, and procrastinators live in yesterday and tomorrow - today is the bridge backward or forward for procrastinators.

In this blog, the first part of a series on Procrastination, Tomorrow is the subject - or should we call it the enemy.

Remember the song in Annie - the movie and the Broadway play. "The sun will come up tomorrow -------". The saying "Tomorrow is another day". The thought - "It's never too late". All of those phrases are very encouraging, very comforting.They mean there is hope - if it wasn't done today, well, there's always tomorrow.

The truth is there may not be a tomorrow - it might very well be too late. The sun may not come up tomorrow. And what's wrong with today, anyway? Maybe a more accurate truth is the saying " He who hesitates is lost." That's the truth.

Procrastinators are time optimists - they rationalize not getting things done by telling themselves there is always a tomorrow. In doing that they rob themselves of today. And today becomes another day of frustration and accomplishment of thin things. Make no mistake, most procrastinators are very busy and may be the people who work more hours than any others. But they aren't effective. And they usually get the fewest critical opportunities to accomplish important things, because the level of trust in their performing on a timely basis is low.

So what can be done about this truly destructive behavior that afflicts millions of people, and impacts success in every business?

The toughest issue with procrastination, in its many forms, is that it is a behavior. As a behavior, it does not respond well to surgery, or the purchase of books, CD's and other materials stuffed with hope and revelations and epiphanies. It is a habit of thought. This is the true challenge - to replace the Tomorrow habit of thought with another habit- one that creates a Today habit of thought. And that is tough!!

But the only way to do it - really, is through action. Perhaps the action is finally picking up the phone and calling that person you have meant to stay in touch with. Perhaps it is that trip to the gym that has been delayed for three months. Perhaps it is starting the first step in getting your tax information together. In any case, it is taking action to do something that you know you must do - and fighting that little message that says - "There is always tomorrow". And turning your back on that message the first time - and then the second time - and then the thousandth time - and then ---. And then you will be well on your way to your new habit of thought - a habit that tells you " Today is all I have, and I have not a moment to lose!!"

Try it - it will not be easy, and help from a friend with a strong sense of urgency will definitely help. Good luck!

Your Intuition - Trust It, But Be Sure To Verify It!!

A friend of mine was in the process of hiring a sales person for a critical territory for a new product. She had interviewed a number of candidates, and was leaning toward one man who seemed to have all the qualifications. On the final interview, when she was prepared to make him an offer, she discovered that he was a cigar smoker. He didn't smoke in the interview, he didn't smell like he had been smoking cigars, his car had no cigar odor, but he let it drop that when he had completed a sale, he would celebrate with a really good cigar. That did it. No hire!!

She explained to me that she felt anyone who smoked cigars could not be trusted - her experience was that all cigar smokers felt they were big shots and caused more trouble than they were worth. Irrational? - Maybe. but an example of a more common kind of decison making than you think.

I don't know if that sales candidate would have been successful in that job, but I do know the basis of the decision, his being a cigar smoker, is an example of intuitive decision making gone wrong.

We need to trust our instincts, and I place intuition into the same category as instinct, "gut feeling", and hunch. It is a very important part of our decision making process, but it can be as much an enemy as a friend. It is based on our body of experience, knowledge, education and a number of other external factors. What makes our intuition unique to each of us is how we interpret those external factors. I see cigar smoking one way - my father, who I loved, smoked cigars, as did my uncles. I suspect my friend had an unfortunate experience with at least one cigar smoker, and came to her own conclusions.

Think of your own biases - how someone speaks, how someone approaches you, how someone shakes hands ( I get a real negative feel from a limp shake), what school they attended, their religion, ethnicity, politics, and so on.

What are the things that are your hot buttons - do they make sense, are they relevant, do they help you more often than they hinder? Ask yourself how often you have used intuition to make a decision when the facts and the opinions of others suggested a different decision. How often were you right? Are you willing to expand your base of knowledge that leads you to a decision?

I'm sure you have met people that are very comfortable making decisions - and make good decisions. I'm just as sure that you know people who would rather have a root canal than make a decision, and others who make decisions, only to go back and change their position as soon as things get tough, or others that make decisions easily, but they seem to not work out more often than not.

Each of us needs to trust our intuition in order to be effective and successful, but we also need to continually challenge our intuition - continually ask ourselves if the values we are using to make decisions are relevant and the result of our evolving values based on new experiences.

Where we are is often based on what we were yesterday. We get a set of data points burned into our brains and they guide our decision making, even though it may not be the most effective way to proceed. That cigar smoker was the victim of a set of data points that probably haven't been examined for relevancy for years. They probably will never be examined. They should be - trusting instincts without verifying the basis for the instincts is a formula for failure. It limits our ability to try new things, to change what we are and who we are, and it limits our opportunities to learn and move forward to bigger and better accomplishments.

The more we are willing to challenge ourselves in new situations, take a chance on something new to us, learn something new - a language, a software program, a social group, a non profit organization - the more we are developing our instincts and hunches and intuitions. That person who you know who makes good decisions consistently is probably a person who has stayed open to improving their intuition through new experiences.

Think about your own life - when did you learn the most? Do you remember the first time you visited a town, or talked to someone, or interviewed for a job or fly fished on a new river? I don't know about you, but I never see things exactly the same way the second and later times I see them.

Think about people who seem to hold onto the same prejudices, the same values, the same beliefs, with little or no change. Chances are they are people who are simply not open to change and new experiences. It's like the person who takes a trip to a foreign country, and when they return all they can talk about is how lousy the food was, or how screwed up the traffic, plane tickets or travel was. Or how poorly the place they visited compares to home sweet home.

Improve your intuition - it is a main source of your personal and organizational value. To the extent you remain open to and accept new people, places and things, you will become more like the intuitive decision makers you know who are highly successful.